Taking Chances
by GoldenEyes4
Summary: When Bella Swan moved to Seattle for her job as a reporter, she didn't plan on falling in love with the perfect guy...a guy who has a secret. But could she be keeping a secret from him and his family infinitely more terrible? ALL HUMAN and IN CHARACTER!
1. The Twilight Studio

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, the whole amazing saga belongs to the one and only Stephenie Meyer.**

**Welcome old and new readers to my latest fanfiction! Let me tell you, I am REALLY excited about this one. Yes, I know it is ALL HUMAN, but I am keeping them in character. Yes, they will remain just like they should be. I really hope you enjoy this and feedback is greatly appreciated. It helps me become a better writer and then I can see the things you like or what you think I should change or etc.**

**So here it goes!**

**Bella POV**

"Wow, this place sure is something," Charlie said, whistling as I gave him the tour of my new apartment in downtown Seattle.

I had recently moved into this dream apartment last month and had finally gotten Charlie down here to see it. Normally I didn't like super-modern and expensive things, but this place was out of my world. It was one bedroom but it had a huge kitchen, a dining room, a large living room, a bathroom and plenty of storage. There was two woodburning fire places and the view was spectacular. I had the top floor so I owned the roof. As soon as I got around to it I was going to go up and put furniture and plants so I could sit and see all of Seattle.

"You sure you can afford this Bells? You're only 23, it might be too much to handle."

"I'm fine Dad. I have a good salary at the paper, I know how to manage money," I assured him.

He walked to the end of my living room and out onto the balcony.

"This view is amazing though," he observed.

I placed my arm around his shoulder and sighed. The sun started to set and the colors spread out like wildfire.

"It is, I really love it here."

"Enough to stay? We all miss you back home so much."

I kissed his cheek and I could tell he was blushing. "I miss you all too, but this is my new home, my new life. I've got to grow up sometime."

He smiled and we continued to watch the sun go down on my balcony.

* * *

In the morning after Charlie left, I hurried to get ready and then headed out to work. I was the new entertainment writer for the Seattle Tribune. **(a/n:i don't know if that is a real paper there so I'm making it up.)** I made my way to my desk next to Angela who wrote the literature section.

"Morning Bella. How was your weekend?" she asked politely.

I put my stuff away and turned my computer on.

"Oh it was good. My dad came down to visit me, still trying to convince me to move back home," I replied with a laugh.

She smiled. "Do you have your proposals ready for the staff meeting today? I totally forgot and I'm trying to put them together. I might have to skip lunch to finish."

I bit my lip. I had two proposals but I doubt my boss would go for them. I was the new girl who was young and my ideas were never good enough.

"Yeah but he won't choose them anyway. I can stay and help you too though, "I offered.

Angela's face lit up. "Oh thank you! I would be forever grateful."

I shrugged.

We skipped lunch and worked on typing her drafts up and making quick examples. When the clock struck 1:30 we all shuffled into the board room and sat down around the large oak table.

Our boss Andrew stood in the front. Andrew was fairly young, in his 40's. He was to the point and wanted things done and they had better been done right. One by one he gathered our proposals and denied most of them. When he got to me he wouldn't even let me begin to speak.

"I don't want to hear your proposals today Swan. I've got a special assignment for you. It's a special one so stay in here after the meeting so we can discuss it."

My open mouth closed and he moved on without another word. Angela eyed me curiously but I just shrugged.

* * *

"Swan, do you know what is hot to write about these days?" Andrew asked.

He stood with his back to me, staring out his floor-to-ceiling window.

I bit my lip. Was this a rhetorical question? "No, Sir."

He turned around. "Undercover. People want to know what really goes on and you are going to be my undercover girl for the next few months or so. However long it takes, you get it. I want this story to be amazing! I have immense trust in you so let me down and you are fired, you hear?"

Undercover? Lying? Spying?

"Uhm, what would I be undercover as exactly?" I asked hesitantly.

Andrew smiled. "There's this hip bar/dance club place in the city called The Twilight Studio. It's huge and we want to know what makes it tick. You are going to work there."

A bar? Was he serious? I don't do bars, I'd barely ever drinken in my life! The only exceptions were my friend Jessica's wedding which I woke up with the rudest headache ever and when my old friend Jacob made me two years ago. Me and alcohol don't mix well.

"Sir, are you sure me? I don't look like a bar kind of girl," I protested.

He glared at me. "Swan, you will take this job and keep intricate notes. I expect reports ever once in awhile. You don't have to come into work too much either. Just fofuc on this story. This will be story of the year. It will blow us off the charts, the Seattle Daily News will be so jealous of our amazing story and work. Just think of it."

I let him bask in his glory before standing up.

"Okay, I guess I can do it."

He smiled. "Good! I've already gotten you the job. Just show up there tomorrow around 2ish. Ask for Emmett, he's the owner. I expect great things Swan, now get lost!"

I jumped and quickly scurried from the room. There was no way I could do this.

* * *

The next afternoon I found the bar very easily. It looked like a very hip and nice place. It wasn't like one of those trasy warehouse bars. It was nice on the outside with new looking neon lights. I went through the huge double doors. I stopped in the foyer so to speak. There were stairs that went down and at the bottom was a a huge dance floor. Around the floor were little tables and booths and at the east side there was a gigantic bar filled with everything you expected a bar to have. A large muscular guy walked around the bar.

"Can I help you?" he called.

I made my way downstairs and over to him.

"Uhm ya, I'm here about my new job..."

He smiled immediately.

"Swan! Hi."

Swan? Geez, Andrew didn't even know my name.

"Actually it's Isabella...or Bella."

He chuckled,"Good, I thought it was weird your name was Swan. I'm Emmett, the owner."

I shook his hand, "Nice to meet you."

Just then a tall blonde walked out from the back room. She looked like a model that was airbrushed...except she wasn't airbrushed.

She glared at me.

"Who the hell are you?"

Emmett smiled.

"This is Bella, the new bartender."

She gave me the once over and wrinkled her nose.

"Bella, this is my fiance Rosalie," he introduced.

She didn't even offer to shake hands.

"There's like two boxes of this nasty crap on the loading dock. Can you go grab it?" she asked.

He nodded. "In a minute. So Bella...you can start tonight. We open at 7 so be here at 6."

What?

"Wait! I don't know anything about this. I don't know how to mix drinks."

He considered it. "Be here at 4, I'll show you everything."

"And don't dress like that. " Rosalie added.

I looked down at my business suit.

"You look like an office tramp. Dress like you work in a bar. Have you seen Coyote Ugly?"

I though my eyes were going to pop out of their sockets.

"You want me to dress like that and dance on the bar?" I asked.

"No! Just dress hot. There is NO dancing on the bar for ANYONE! This bar was expensive, keep it clean."

Then someone else emerged from the back room. She was short and extremely thin...but like Rosalie extrondinarily beautiful. What was this place?

"Bella, this is my little sister Alice. She's the manager."

She smiled and gave me a hug.

"It's so nice to meet you!"

I smiled but pulled away from Alice uncomfortably.

"Uhm, hi."

I blushed and she laughed.

"Where's Jasper?" Emmett asked.

Alice shrugged, "Work. He'll be here later."

I bit my lip. "Who's Jasper?"

Alice smiled, "My fiance!"

"That's nice, you're all engaged."

"Ya, it's a funny story actually..."Alice started.

Rosalie threw her head back. "Here we go again!"

"You see, Jasper is Rosalie's brother. One night she brought him in and I just had to dance with him so we danced and it was so sweet. He wanted to ask me out so badly but he thought I didn't like him. As if! I finally got him to ask me and it was over the phone and he told me he wanted to do it in person. How sweet? Anyway, now we're engaged!"

I smiled. That was a sweet story.

"Congratulations," I said.

"When's Edward going to be here? He promised he would come tonight. He never comes."

Emmett shrugged, "I don't know. You know how he is. He'd rather go to a 5-star restuarant than his brothers bar."

I listened to them talk for a little bit longer before announcing I had to leave. The all said goodbye, except Rosalie, and then I quickly exited the bar.

Ya, this was going to be a long night.

* * *

**So what do you all think? Reviews will make me so extremely happy!**


	2. Long Night

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, the whole amazing saga belongs to the one and only Stephenie Meyer.**

**Thanks for the great reviews guys! I'm glad you all decided to check this out because I'm so excited about it! I've already got the ending planned out! Can you believe that? Anyway, I was watching Coyote Ugly and Never Been Kissed the other day and I thought it would be so cool if they combined...not that it will be exactly like that. It will be pretty different but that's just where the general idea came from.**

**But what about the new soundtrack? Is it amazing or what? I LOVE every song on there! My favorite is _Eyes on Fire and Let Me Sign._**

**Anyways, on with it already!**

**Bella POV**

I was lost. What did one wear as a bartender? Leather pants? Jeans? Belly shirt? I searched through my closet, hoping to fine something "hot" as Rosalie put it. It was hopeless. I didn't dress hot. _I _wasn't hot.

I finally decided on a pair of skinny jeans I never wore and a deep blue silky tank my mother snuck in my suitcase incase for some bizzare reason I wanted to go clubbing. I was about to leave in my flip-flops when I quickly put on the blue heels that I wore in Jessica's wedding. Hopefully they would think it's hot enough.

I made it to the bar in record time and Emmett was all ready for me. Rosalie came from the back and glared at me again.

"Dammit," she cursed.

Emmett laughed and held out his hand.

"Pay up babe!"

She switched her fierce gaze to his direction.

"We live together, I'm not paying you 200 dollars."

He dropped it. "Sorry, we just made a bet. She bet you wouldn't be able to put a hot outfit together. I bet you could and I just won."

She rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

"I'm going home to change, I'll see you later."

With that she sauntered off.

* * *

"Okay, so these cabinets here hold all the different glasses because different drinks require certain glasses. I mean, you wouldn't put a martini in a scotch glass, would you?"

I slowly shook my head and we moved on. He pointed out all the syrups and bottles of stuff I'd never heard of. He showed me how to use the taps and how to use this fun little soda sprayer. It looked like a hose with a gun spout which had four buttons: coke, rootbeer, sprite, water.

"And, if you ever forget how to mix something..."

He opened one of the cabinets and taped to the door was a list of drinks and what went in them and what glass to use.

"We had a bartender once who couldn't remember how to mix drinks to save her life. So this will help you, but it's much faster to just memorize it."

I scanned the list before he shut it.

"Now, all nights get pretty packed here. Just stay calm and don't get overwhelmed. Don't let the drunk people dance on the bar. We have a few regulars who think it's hilarious to try, but after Rosalie beat the hell out of one of them last week I don't think they'll try again. As long as the bar is covered, feel free to go out and party and have a good time. But don't stay long. It can get crazy so spend most of the time at the bar."

I nodded and took it all in. I went to the other side of the bar and sat down on one of the stools. Emmett poured us a glass of water each.

"Got everything?"

I nodded. "I think so."

We lifted our glasses and said cheers.

"So, does Rosalie work here too?"

He started laughing so hard that he spit the water right back out.

"No! Rosalie doesn't work. She does help out, but she's rich enough to not. Her parents owned this huge and nice country club outside the city and her inheritance is three times more than this bar is worth. I'm talking like 6 or 7 digit size. But after her dad died two years ago her mother couldn't run it on her own so Jasper stepped in and he now owns the place. But we're a close family and you'll become close with us too now that you're working here. You'll meet Jasper tonight and possibly my brother Edward."

Edward? That was who Alice was talking about this afternoon.

"Does he not come around a lot? Alice was saying that he never comes or something?"

I tried to come of nonchalant but I was very interested. This could be a good point in my story.

Emmett shrugged and wiped down the spotless bar.

"We're close with him of course, but he's more formal I could say. He took over my father's business after he graduated from Dartmouth. Our parents died five years ago so now he owns it and he's richer than all of us combined, not that I'm complaining. I'm doing pretty well off this bar. But Edward is the golden child. He's smart and good and he was my dad's favorite to say the least. We're just very different, but I love him with all my heart."

Hmm....sounds like an expose on the family.

Emmett looked down at his watch.

"Oh! Doors open in an hour, got to get things ready. The D.J. always arrives around 6:30 so I've got to go turn on the sound system and lighting, I'll be back."

He left the bar and ran through the back door.

* * *

"Another round!"

I sighed and poured another round of shots for three regulars who were gathered around the bar. They were already stone cold drunk after 6 shots and two scotch on the rocks. They poured then down and then cheered before heading over to the dance floor. I continued taking other orders.

I had to check the list constantly and I could tell people were getting irritated with how slow I was, but I couldn't help it. The bar was so crowded I could barely think. It was loud and dark and smelly. I had already gotten 3 number and one marraige proposal, except he passed out two minutes after the initial proposal.

"Hey! How's it going?"

I turned to see Alice taking some of the orders for me. She could get one drink for every 3.

"It's hard!"

She laughed and finished the orders until everyone had stopped asking.

"Yeah, people get demanding but you'll get the hang of it. You're doing great and you look fabulous if I do say so," she complimented.

"Hey!"

We both looked up and a tall blonde stood on the other side.

"Jasper!"

Alice shot around the bar and into his arms. The kissed passionately for a few seconds before she introduced us.

"Jasper, this is Bella, the new bartender. Bella..."she looked up at his eyes with a loving gaze. "This is my Jasper."

I shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you."

He nodded and then spun her onto the dance floor.

I watched before turning my attention back to the bar. I jumped when someone new was sitting in front of me.

"Oh!"

He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. He had these piercing emerald eyes and the most amazing bronze hair. But I knew right off that this was Edward because of his pale skin and his extremely good looks.

"You must be the new girl," he smirked.

I was about to answer but it came out in a jumble and a screeching voice interupted me.

"EDWARD!"

I looked over his shoulder to see a drunk blonde girl stumbled down the stairs. His eyes went wide and looked up at me frantically.

"Will you pretend to be my girlfriend for like 5 seconds?"

Before I could answer he grabbed my hands and the blonde threw her arms around him.

"Baby, you never called me..."she whispered in his ear.

Did she honestly think she was hot?

"Uhm, Shannon, can't you see I'm having a conversation with...."

He stopped and waited for my name. She was way too drunk to notice.

"Bella," I whispered.

"...with Bella."

She looked at our hands and then backed off, her mouth forming an O shape.

"Oh, I see how it is. She straightened up and flipped her hair before walking away with what little dignity she had left.

Edward sighed and let go of my hands.

"Whew, thanks. The worst one night stand ever."

I still didn't know what to say.

"How about a drink?"

I nodded and he rambled off some huge complex drink. I just stared at him like an idiot. He got up and came around the bar.

"Nevermind, let me do it."

He started mixing things together and I remembered how to talk.

"No! This is my job, let me."

He just ignored me and chugged the whole thing before mixing another drink. He then stuffed two bills in the register and walked back around without a word. He was quite rude if you asked me.

"You could have just told me how to make it," I said.

He rolled his eyes. "You would have been too slow."

Just then Emmett emerged from the dance floor and hugged his little brother.

"Ed! I'm so glad you made it!"

Edward shrugged away and wrinkled his nose.

"Yep."

Emmett sat down.

"Now what's wrong? Was it Rachel?"

Edward laughed. "Rachel! Please, that was over last month. It was Kate. She seemed so different this time, but apparently I attract only skanks. Always the single one."

Emmett patted his back.

"There's someone out there for you, don't worry."

I was half listening and taking orders until Emmett left. I wanted to say something to him, but I got beat. A pretty girl with a great body and red curls walked over to him.

"Would you like to dance?" she asked him shyly.

I noticed his eyes sparkle and he got up and led her to the floor.

Of course. She was gorgeous and I was just Bella.

* * *

When the bar finally closed at 2 am, I was wiped out. The guests were gone except Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice. The all found it hilarious that I was leaning over the bar half asleep.

"It's hard work, huh?" Alice said as she started sweeping the floor.

Emmett helped rearrange the bar while Rosalie ordered around the other workers to clean up.

He poured us both a drink and I drank it quickly. It was amazing.

"You know, it helps when you have a drink or two on the job," he teased.

I shrugged. "Didn't even think about it."

"How much in tips did you make?"

I pulled the wadded bills from my pocket and counted.

"Holy hell! I made 526 dollars in tips alone!"

He laughed. "I know, the men love tipping when they're drunk. Plus we get a lot of men coming from huge businesses after work with lots of money to spend. But that's a record. Usually it's only 400, they must love you!"

I counted again and put it back in my pocket.

"Well, since it's your first night you can go home early, but remember to get some sleep. These nights are very long."

He patted my arm like he did to Edward and went to go help clean. I donned on my winter coat and went out into the parking lot. It was dark and the November snow started to light fall. I welcomed it and got into my carr, blasting the heater before driving home.

* * *

**So what do you think? Feedback in the review section is much appreciated!**


	3. Shopping With Alice

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, the whole amazing saga belongs to the one and only Stephenie Meyer.**

**As usual, the reveiws rocked my socks! Yes, Edward seems like a jerk but pretty much most ff's start off with Edward immediately falling for her and I wanted to be different because when that happens the tension is gone and I want to build it up, I want you to be on the edge of your seats so you'll just have to keep reading!**

**OMG! ONLY 4 MORE DAYS!! I can't stand it! Midnight Premiere Here I Come!**

**Here we go...**

**Bella POV**

When my eyes opened the sun was streaming through my window. I cringed and covered my eyes and sat up. My shoulders were stiff so I stretched them out and rolled from the bed. As I wrapped my robe on I noticed the clock read 12 PM. Wow, I'd been sleeping for 1 hours.

I made myself some coffee and sat down with my laptop to write a few notes down.

_Bar is very nice and big; dark and crowded; lots of drunk extremely rich men; good tips; harrassment?_

_Emmett: Cheerful and sweet_

_Rosalie: Bossy, rude, unaccepting_

_Alice: Sweet, responsible, fun_

_Jasper: Mysterious_

_Edward: Workaholic, rude, Player_

When I started my list on Edward I stopped and replayed last nights events in my head. The way he grabbed my hand stuck with me the most. His hands were so soft and they seemed to fit perfectly in mine. I remember how I was speechless around him and I didn't want to let go. Of course he went for the pretty girls though. I saw him making out with that one red head a few hours later and my hopes dropped.

It was crazy that I should feel these things towards a complete stranger who 1)used me and 2)was very rude and ungrateful. I'm sure though by that look of sadness he had when he was speaking to Emmett that there was story there.

I shut my laptop and sat back. I was deep in though when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella! It's Emmett."

I sat up straighter and cleared my throat.

"Oh hi."

"So it's Thursday and the first Thursday of every month is karaoke night," he said.

Oh great. It was bad enough being surrounded by drunk people, but then imagine them singing.

"Oh, ya?"

There was a peppines to his voice. "So could you come in at 5 tonight to help set up? Our stage workers bailed so we need everyone we can get to set up the small stage."

Why not?

"Sure, I'll be there."

"Great! See ya then!"

He hung up and I sighed. It was only day 2 and I was dreading it.

* * *

It was 2 PM and I was standing in front of my closet debating on what to wear. It was stupid that I kept Edward in my thoughts as I considered, but he was there.

As I was deciding between my frayed and holey jeans and my jean skirt my doorbell rang. I took that as a sign that they both sucked and went for the door. I jumped as I saw Alice standing there, looking as fabulous as ever.

"Bella!"

She quickly hugged me and walked into my apartment.

"Alice uhm, how did you know where I lived?" I asked, shutting my door.

She walked around and surveyed the palce.

"Wow, this is great. How could you afford this apartment with the salary Emmett gives you?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Uhm, I saved a lot before I moved here?"

It sounded like a question but she bought it.

"Well, I love it. But to the point. I am here to take you shopping. You seem like the girl who might now have bar-worthy clothes so that's where I come in. Do you have money?"

I nodded. Thanks to having my job at the paper and the bartending job with great tips, I had more money that I was used to.

"I've got plenty."

She clapped her hands.

"Great! Go get some clothes on and we are out of here."

I hesitated by the entrance to my room before stepping in. It was weird that I felt so comfortable with Alice when I just met her yesterday, but I did. But shopping for hot bar clothes?

* * *

We were stuck in traffic. Go figure. I pressed my forehead to the window as I listened to Alice sing along with the radio, always two octaves higher than the actual song. I didn't notice she'd stopped until she called my name.

"Bella? I'm I annoying you?" she asked.

I lifted my head and smiled.

"Nope, just don't like traffic. Still not used to it," I mumbled.

She shrugged and tapped her wheel.

"Bummer. Where did you move from anyway?"

"I used to live in Phoenix my whole life, so I guess I should be used to traffic but when I was 17 I moved to Forks with my dad. I guess I got used to quiet life there."

She pulled the mirror down and checked her soft pink lip-stick before deciding she needed another coat.

"Forks? No way, we lived there for a few years until my father opened his office up here. Guess we left before you went because I would remember you."

Wow, what a small world.

"So, did you ever go out with anyone there? Tell me about it."

It was weird. She was actually _interested_ to hear about my uninteresting life. Usually no one would care that much about your past.

"Uhm, I didn't really go out much. I mean, I guess I kind of went out with Mike Newton for a few weeks. It wasn't anything special, eventually I just got sick of him so it didn't last. But I did have one best friend, Jacob Black. He lived down in La Push."

Right when the words _Mike Netwon_ slipped from my lips she cracked up with laughter.

"Oh that poor kid! You don't know how hard he tried to get me. God he was annoying! I finally had to tell him face-to-face to leave me the hell alone."

I giggled. I could picture Mike's face easily as Alice told me about all the things he tried to do. Apparently he even wrote her a song and tried to serenade her.

We talked our way through traffic until we pulled into a small boutique. Alice yanked me through it and forced me to try on dozens of "hot" but stunning and gorgeous outfits. I ended up buying most of them just because she pouted and made me feel guilty if I didn't like them. After going through 3 different shops, we stopped at a small diner called _Eclipse_. It was small but very inviting. Inside it was dim with red and black couches and chairs with a small stage in the corner. It was crowded with people.

"This is my favorite place to eat. My parents friends Carlisle and Esme own it and the two others in Portland and Tacoma. They're practically family."

We sat down and a striking woman who looked to be in her late 20's came over and hugged Alice.

"Oh sweetie! It's been such a long time!"She gushed.

They giggled together for a few minutes before Alice introduced me.

"Bella, this is Esme. Esme, this is our new bartender Bella."

Esme greeted me warmly. She reminded me of my mother and made me feel strangely comfortable.

We chatted with Esme for a little bit before she scurried off to the back to get us some drinks.

"She's nice."

Alice nodded. "Ever since my parents died they've kind of taken over as our parents."

We sat in silence for a bit until she brought up something I didn't want to talk about.

"You met my brother, Edward, last night?"

I nodded and wrinkled my nose. "He's kind of jerk."

She laughed, but it had a weird edge to it.

"He's not usually a jerk. Things have been hard on him, especially since he owns my father's ginormous business. But, after they died, he took it really hard. I mean, things sucked for all of us, but he seemed to take it the hardest. He was so close to my parents because he was everything they wanted him to be. Emmett and I kind of went off on our own job-wise, but he stayed with my father. When he died, it was like part of him died too. He isolated himself and worked himself until he was hospitalized for dehydration. He started dating these insane women and it's just not the same Edward."

I narrowed my eyes. "But it's been five years..."

She looked down," Yeah, but just don't judge him, okay?"

I could tell from her expression there was something else, but I didn't budge. It wasn't her story to tell.

"But...everything is okay...I mean, not okay obviously, but better?"

I wanted to cheer her up since it was my fault for making her sad. She shrugged but the smile returned.

"Ya a little bit. I just wish I could see him more."

* * *

Alice dropped me off at my apartment to change. The rest of our shopping trip wasn't as light and fun after our talk about Edward. I think I really upset her. I just couldn't get past what she told me though. Something really serious must have happened between now and five years ago for Edward to change. It had been five years since their parents died, you think he would have moved on or at least accepted it.

I pushed that thought to the back of my head and changed into a short, spaghetti strapped deep blue dress Alice forced me to buy. I felt like a stripper so I threw on a sweater over it. Of course that didn't change the short length, but I felt a little bit better.

When I arrived I helped set up the stage and the karoake machine. Alice tested it out and sang a Britney Spears song in a high pitch.

"Better get used to it, Alice _always _tests the machine out," Rosalie warned me.

I was surprised she didn't say it rudely. Maybe my luck was changing.

Then she looked at my sweater and scowled.

"Take that off! This isn't the moddest is hottest club!" she shrieked.

Damn, I jinxed myself by thinking that.

I deliberated and then took it off and stored it with my things in the back.

"You look hot!" Alice shouted, rolling her tongue for effect.

I blushed and looked down self-consciously.

Emmett laughed. "She's right ya know."

Rosalie reached up and smacked his head. He apologized with a passionate kiss.

"Get a room!" Alice yelled.

Rosalie removed her hand and flipped Alice the bird.

* * *

We spent the next hour setting up and listening to Alice daintily sing pop songs three octaves higher than needed. By the time they opened the doors and let the long line in (which wrapped around the block) I was already karoaked-out. I took Emmett's advice and made myself a drink. It felt a little better so for that I was thankful.

I was getting used to the whole bartending thing so I got the drinks out faster and the regulars started to accept me. After my third and final drink for the evening, I was at ease. Nothing could have ruined my mood.

"Hello again."

I jumped at the familiar voice and turned to see Edward leaning against the bar, smirking at me.

There went my good mood.

* * *

**Any speculations about Edward's past? I doubt you could guess it! Sorry it took so long, I had a very busy weekend. I was barely home at all yesterday. Reviews are much appreciated!**


	4. Obsessed

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**I must say, I loved that chicken theory! You were so close! Haha. His past probably won't be revealed in this chapter, however. I could though, I don't know. I can't control my fingers when I'm really excited so I could just type it up...or not. You'll just have to keep reading! Now, a shout-out to all my reviewers out there in reading land. For those of you who read but don't review, that's cool. I appreciate you're reading too.**

**THREE MORE DAYS!!!!! I think I'm going to pee myself, lol.**

**Now...on with the incredibly fascinating lives of those who are in Twilight...**

**Bella POV**

Okay I lied. Three drinks just wasn't going to put me at ease with Edward around. I turned and quickly mixed a two component drink and chugged it. I almost choked as the rough liquor went down, but I got through it.

Taking a deep breath, I turned to face him.

"What can I get you?"

He pondered it and then pointed behind me.

"I will have that."

I turned and saw a new bottle of something that had come this morning. It was bright blue and really gross looking. Emmett ordered it because fun colored drinks were in.

I got a glass down and poured some of the nasty liquid in.

"...on the rocks," he added.

I threw in some ice and handed him the cup. Edward shook it and sniffed it before downing it. Immediately he clamped his hand over his mouth and gagged. His sparkling eyes looked as if they were coming out. The face was too funny to not laugh.

He swallowed the drink and then started panting from his gagging reel.

"Ugh! That was terrible!" he managed to get out.

I giggled and handed him some water which he downed as well.

"Geez, you should tell Emmett to throw that crap out!"

After he recovered and ordered a drink that was normal, he stayed at the bar for awhile.

"Listen, I'm sorry if I was rude to you last night. It was a long day at work and I didn't want to come but Emmett made me," he explained.

I tried to look indifferent, but it really meant something to me.

"Oh that's okay. I understand."

"No, it's not. I was an ass to you. I was raised better than to treat a lady that way," he said.

Damn he was good.

I couldn't wipe the goofy grin from my face as I looked him in the eye.

"Thanks. That means a lot."

He nodded. "You look stunning tonight, if I do say so myself. That color looks beautiful with your skin type."

My face turned tomato red and I looked down at my feet.

"Edward! What are you doing here tonight?"

Alice ran over and wrapped her thin arms around her brother.

"I know I should come more often so here I am."

She was elated to have him here and I had to admit, so was I.

"Have you tasted this crap?" he asked, holding up his glass which had a little of that blue stuff left in it.

She cringed. "Ew! It's so disgusting. Bella, pour that out. We don't want our customers gagging themselves to death."

I poured the stuff back and turned my attention back to them.

"Bella! You should go dance for a bit! I'll take over the bar," she insisted.

I tried to hide the mortification but it still showed through.

"No, that's fine. You go ahead," I encouraged.

She pouted.

"Oh come on! Go have fun!"

I quickly shook my head.

"No, I am a terrible dancer. I'll just trip over myself until I break something," I explained.

"Bella...."she whined.

"Alice, she doesn't want to go. Just leave her alone, "Edward said in defense.

She sighed and then stuck her tongue out at him.

"Fine."

She turned on her heel and danced her way back into the crowd.

I wrapped my arm around my neck shyly.

"Thanks."

He smiled.

"Anytime...but are you really that bad?"

I felt the blush creeping back into my cheeks.

"Yes. I've only been to one dance in my life and I ended up giving my date a black eye and a bloody nose."

He opened his mouth but I ignored him.

"Don't ask."

He frowned. "Oh come on, you can't just say that and expect me to sit here coming up with my own ideas."

He leaned forward and tilted his head down but looked up at my through his long lashes. His eyes were so inviting that I couldn't help myself. When he finally looked away I blinked and tried to remember what we were talking about.

"Huh?"

He chuckled, "You were saying...?"

"I tripped over my feet and smacked my face into his. Then I passed out because his nose started to gush blood. I don't do well with blood."

He stared at me seriously for about three seconds before cracking up with laughter.

"Oh, that is just too good!"

I glared at him. He saw my anger and he quickly stopped.

"Sorry, but you've got to admit that _was_ funny."

I wasn't convinced.

He checked his watch and then stood up.

"Well, I've got to get going. But I'll see you around then I guess."

I smiled as he walked away, but once he got near the door, he turned and flashed one last glance at me before walking out.

My heart sped up to 100 miles an hour.

The rest of the night was uneventful. By the time we closed, an hour late I might add, I was ready to break the karaoke machine. Karaoke is bad enough but add a bunch of drunk people singing and you've got a double negative.

I stayed and helped clean-up which wasn't that much work since there was a crew that did it. Clean-up time was actually just Emmett breaking out the good stuff and everyone doing shots and having fun. I steered clear from the booze and sipped my water.

"So, what do you think about my most wonderful bar?" Emmett asked, leaning over the counter and grinning like an idiot.

I back away and wrinkled my nose. "I think that you should go home and get some rest."

He broke out into raucous laughter.

* * *

The next two weeks passed quickly. I actually grew to love working at the bar. I went into work twice and each time Andrew wanted a detailed report. He didn't like any of my ideas or stuff. He told me I had two weeks to find a good plot or I was off the job and someone else would fill in. I stomped from his office and pouted. What more did he want from me?

Edward never came back to the bar after that one night. We never talked about him either. My hopes sank because after he glanced at me it gave me hope...and that was very stupid. Men like Edward Cullen didn't date or even think twice about girls like me. Girls who were plain and clumsy and boring. Maybe I came off too desperate.

* * *

"Bella? What are you thinking about?"

I jumped and turned to face Alice

She looked at me in concern. Her red lipstick was almost glowing the dim light.

We had the night off so we went to a rival club undercover, to see what made people go there. We were sitting at the bar and I must have zoned out.

"Huh? Oh, nothing really. This place reeks," I said, changing the subject.

She sniffed the air and agreed.

"That's something else our bar is better at. Smell."

I took a sip of the appletini she insisted I got. It wasn't that bad actually.

The bartender came over and set two more drinks in front of us.

"These are from the gentlemen over there," she said, pointing to two insanely good looking men in the corner. They both winked at us.

I was amazed. I'd never seen that happen before except in movies. And even more one of them, the best looking on, was staring right at me. He stood up and started to walk over.

"Wow, he's cute and he's totally coming to talk with you!" Alice squealed in my ear. The other guy raised his brow at her but she held up her hand, flashing her engagement ring.

I turned back to the man and took in all his features. He had bright, blue eyes and brownish hair. He wore a white shirt unbuttoned enough to get a peek at his tan and toned abs. There was no way he was after me. I do admit that I looked nice tonight. Alice let me borrow one of her many dresses. It was blue since she said it looked best on me.

"Hey there," he said, trying to be alluring.

Right when I heard it Edward immediately came to my mind. What was he doing? What would he look like if he saw this guy flirting with me? It occured to me that all I could think about was Edward and how much cuter he was than this guy, not that this guy wasn't cute.

My mind jumbled with all these thoughts that I forgot to answer him.

"Uhm...did you like the drink?" he asked, obviously wondering if I was retarded or not.

Alice nudged me and I jumped again.

"Oh! Yes, it was very thoughtful. Thanks."

I tried my best to grin.

He held his arm out.

"Would you like to dance with me?"

I started to say no when Alice pushed me off the stool.

"She would love to!"

I turned to glare at her and she just stuck her tongue out.

I followed him to the floor.

"So what's your name?" he asked.

My name? The only name in my head started with an "E".

"Bella."

"That's such a beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

Where did he go? The pick-up line acadamy?

"...and what's yours?" I replied.

"James."

We got in the crowd and he placed his hands on my hips. I blushed and looked up nervously.

"I'm a terrible dancer," I explained.

He smiled, showing off pearly white teeth.

"Don't worry, I can help you."

He started to move my hips to the beat with his hands until I could do it on my own.

"See, it's not so hard."

Then he grabbed my hands and started to rotate the rest of my body until we could dance freely.

It wasn't that hard, I'll admit, but I did trip about five times and stepped on his feet about a dozen times. I could see Alice from the distance cheering me on and it made me blush harder.

But everytime I looked up at him, I saw Edward, the stranger I'd seen twice but was already obsessed with.

We had been dancing for about a half hour when he led me back to Alice for a drink break.

He was a pretty nice guy and Alice seemed to approve. Then he turned to face me.

"So, do you want to go back to my place and hang out for a bit?" he asked.

* * *

**CLIFFHANGER! Oh I love doing that! So, what do you think? Bet you didn't anticipate James coming in! Review if you love the story!!**


	5. Ugly News

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**OH MY GOD! THE MOVIE WAS AMAAAAAAAZING! Seriously, it is my new favorite movie. The premeire rocked and I've already seen it again and I plan to go again next weekend and the next. I will be joined at the hip with the DVD when it comes out. Oh....I loved EVERY part, I mean I have no people need an open mind that it will not be like the book because it's an ADAPTION. It's like having two versions of the story. But I love love loved it.**

**Oh, and I've been meaning to ask how old my readers are. I'm not trying to be creepy. but I want to know the age range of the readers that read my stories. You don't have to tell me at all, this isn't a demand. I'm just curious. You don't even have to say it exactly, you could be like "teenager" or "mom".**

**Oh...the reviews were incredible I must say. Now on with ittttttt.....**

**Bella POV**

I turned to Alice, hoping to catch some message in her eyes. They were happy and alive.

"Uhm, excuse us for a second..."Alice said as she pulled me away.

"Go!" she urged.

I did a doubletake.

"What? I don't even know him! What if he's a rapist or something!"

"Listen hun, I don't advise going to a strangers place, but this guy is hot and he's sweet and it's obvious he likes you."

I shook my head. "No way. I was raised to never go to a strangers house, as juvenile as that sounds."

She sighed,"Listen, I'll wait ouside and then I'll call after twenty minutes. If you don't answer I'll call the cops. Does that make you feel better?"

She was practically bouncing. I turned around to see him getting our coats from the coat desk in the front. I bit my lip hard and sighed.

"Fine, but if I die you can't have anything of mine."

She pushed me forward and I went to meet him.

"I'm ready."

James grinned wide. "Great! Shall we?"

He slipped my coat on and led me to the parking lot. He had a nice car, a Range Rover. I didn't expect that, but most people who were exceptionally gorgeous usually had money too. Of course thinking of that Edward popped into my mind. I knew that if it were him asking me I would have gone without thinking.

The first few minutes were silent until he started questioning me.

"So, where do you work?"

Hmm...should I tell him the paper or the bar? Best to lie.

"The Twilight Studio."

He turned to me surprised.

"Why were you at Midnight Sun tonight then?"

I shrugged," We see what makes other bars tick and we make ours that much better."

He nodded, "I'll have to come see you sometime."

I tried my best to smile.

The questioning continued for awhile. I found out that he owns a worldwide GPS company**(lol get it? tracking...)** and he just broke up with his long-time fiance Victoria.

We finally pulled into a large apartment complex which looked very nice. I made sure Alice had followed us in before he led me upstairs. He lived on the 3rd floor and his apartment was very nice. It was rugged with a modern touch.

"Can I get you a drink? Some wine maybe?"

I sat down on the couch.

"No, I'm good for the night."

He ignored me and got us some water. I sipped at mine politely.

"You're place is very nice."

He nodded and continued to stare at me.

"You smell amazing, did you know that?" he said.

I tried to make it sound like a compliment, but I was just plain creeped out. I sniffed my hair. Strawberry.

"Oh...uhm, thanks."

The blush crept into my cheeks. He slid closer to me.

* * *

Ten minutes had passed, but it felt like ten hours. He wouldn't stop smelling me and watching me. Then finally he took my face in his hands and brought it so close to his our foreheads touched. I gulped.

"You are so beautiful."

Then without another word he smashed his hot lips into mine. While he worked his tongue into my mouth I struggled against him, smacking his head. He just held me tighter and tried to push me down. The struggling continued. He finally released me after I bit his lip.

"What the hell?" he cried, rubbing his jaw. I stood up and headed for the door.

"Wait! Bella, wait!"

He was too late, I had sprinted- without tripping I might add- down the hall and into the elevator. I ran right into Alice's car and hopped in as she peeled out of the parking garage.

"What happened?" she asked when we were a block away.

My breathing had now slowed to a normal rate as I tried to comprehend what just happened.

"He just grabbed me and started kissing me. He wouldn't let me go," I whispered, not really listening to myself.

It was weird, like I was in a daze or something.

"Ew! What a perve. Sorry I forced you to go. Oh my god, what if something happened to you? Bella I am so sorry!" she cried.

I shrugged and folded my arms tightly.

"It's okay, I survived."

* * *

The next day I went into work and waited for an hour in Andrew's office. He came in with his double shot expresso and listened to all of my detailed notes. I decided I wanted the main focal point of my story to be on the harrassment of a bartender. He just raised his eyebrow and shook his head.

"No, hate it. Readers don't care about crap like that. I want hot, juicy stories! Like behind the scenes. Come on, sex sells Bella."

Oh wow, he just used my real name.

"What about that Edwin guy? You had very detailed notes about him. He seemed important."

He suddenly set his coffee down and a twinkle came into his eye. His hands spread out in front of him.

"That's it! Bella, you've got a story," he said.

I crossed my legs uneasily.

"About what?"

He took in the moment of his genius idea before answering me.

"You will date that Edward guy. He seems like he's got a great past. That would be so good, a rich business men with problems falling for a bartender. Our stock will go through the roof!"

Andrew was elated by this idea. I was not.

"No! I can't, Edward doesn't deserve that. I can't do that to him."

He glared at me for trashing his vision.

"If you want a job here, you do what you are asked. The news isn't pretty honey, news is ugly. People get hurt and that's life. Now shoo, I've got a meeting with Daniel from the Gazette."

I got up and scurried away. There was no way I could do that. I was half way down the hall when Andrew screamed my name. I turned and reluctantly went back to his office.

"My vision has just gotten better. Besides that guy, I want the story on the whole family. They seem interesting. This could be story of the year Bella, think about the opportunities!"

I couldn't even answer because he shut the door on my face again. Exploiting my co-workers? People who had befriended me and trusted me. I couldn't, but I had no choice.

* * *

For the next two weeks I took careful notes on everyone. I ignored the bar and added to lists and descriptions. I added in juicy gossip and precise stories about each time Emmett and Rosalie snuck off to the back.

I only saw Edward twice and both times he was with a different girl. However there was always a longing look on his face. It would light up when he saw me and when he would dance he would look over and smile. Butterflies would fill my stomache, giving me a hope. The only thing going wrong with Andrew's plan was me getting with Edward. I was never good at pursuing men and there was no way I could get Edward. Our leagues didn't even touch.

In the first week of December I came into work to find no one but Emmett around. The bar was crowded, but I didn't see Alice, Jasper, or Rosalie. Emmett stood behind the bar with a sad look on his face.

"Emmet, is everything okay?" I asked.

He looked up.

"Where is everyone?"

Did something happen?

"Rosalie and Jasper's mom had a stroke and died last night. They're all over their parents house. I wanted to go but closing down the bar on a Friday night would be suicide."

Sorrow suddenly filled me. I didn't even know their mom, but I've never seen Emmett that sad before. He should be there.

"Emmett, you should go. Leave me in charge. I know how to close and there's the whole crew here tonight. Rosalie needs you."

I patted his back assuringly, trying to get him to see I knew what I was doing.

"No, Bella, I couldn't do that to you. What if something happened?"

He was going and that was the end of it.

"It will be fine. The regulars here like me, I'm sure I can get them to help if a fight breaks out or something. Tony's right up there too," I said, pointing to the bouncer who was letting the long line in.

He deliberated for a moment and then handed me a huge keychain full of keys.

"Here, they are all labeled. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

Emmett tore off his apron and jumped over the bar, but not before crushing me into a hug.

"You're the best Bella!" he called as he sprinted out the door.

* * *

The rest of the night went smoothly. It wasn't really that hard being incharge. Emmett called twice to check up on me, but to no surprise things were just dandy. I was surprised when Rosalie got on and thanked me. I knew she still didn't like me for some unknown reason, but she was grateful to have Emmett with her. It warmed my heart to know that at least I made some impression.

It was about midnight, one hour to closing, when Edward showed up. He was alone and came right to talk to me.

"Hey, why aren't you with your family?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"I never met their mother before. It seemed like a personal thing, but Emmett told me what you did. You truly are something else Bella."

He gave me a look that made my heart leap and my face turn bright red. It was full of wonder and warmth.

"It was no big deal."

He shook his head.

"It was a big deal. You are so selfless. You never cease to amaze me Bella."

We chatted a little more before some girl dragged him off to dance. He accepted out of politeness. I could tell because he would cringe when she breathed her boozy breath into his face. I laughed at them dancing.

"Hey, glad I caught you here."

I jumped and dropped a glass, letting it shatter to pieces. The hair on my neck stood up as I saw James lean against the counter.

"You ran off the other night, didn't get a chance to say sorry."

Something about his voice just gave me the chills.

"What can I get for you?" I asked, trying to keep my cool.

"A round of shots?"

I got him the shots and he downed them. It wasn't long before he stinking drunk.

* * *

**Dun dun dun....**

**What do you think is going to happen? Guess you just have to keep reading!!!**


	6. Fight or Flight

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Hey there! I hope you all (those who celebrate) had a wonderful Thanksgiving, I know I did. Now it's back to reality and December, which just happens to be my favorite month. The reviews were amazingly wonderful, I must say. Thanks to all those who gave me their age range. It's nice to see I have a nice variety of ages out there. :)**

**But...do you all think I'd make the next chaper that obvious?? As always I'm full of surprises and I hope this catches you off guard!!**

**On with it....:)**

**Bella POV**

It was thirty minutes to closing and James had his head on the bar, two more shots from passing out.

"Okay, I think it's time you went home. I'll call you a cab."

I reached for the phone when he suddenly shot up and grabbed my wrist with impressive force.

"No!"

He gripped me tighter as I struggled to get loose.

"James, let go of me now," I demanded. I tried to make my voice sound strong and full of authority but it still came out weak.

His breathing sped up.

"You aren't calling me a cab. You left me last time, and that's not happening again. I don't like to be made a fool of."

I shook my wrist free and searched the crowds for Tony. He was waiting by the door, escorting the drunk people into cabs. I sighed and looked for Edward, but he was sitting in a booth with some people and I didn't want to bother him. I took in a deep breath and looked him in the eye.

"James, you need to leave. We're closing."

He laughed raucously and stood up, making his way around the counter.

"Baby, we've got thirty minutes. Why don't we sneak away into the back room?" he suggested, raising an eyebrow.

I glared at him. "I'm not your baby and I'm incharge tonight. They're trusting me to take care of everything."

James crept closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. I wormed out of his grasp.

"Exactly. You're incharge. We can do whatever we want. Come on, I know you like me," he whispered.

I couldn't back up any further, he had me pinned against the wall. His hot boozy breath blew into my face and I thought I might gag.

"Bella?"

I peeked around James' shoulder to see Edward on the other side of the bar.

"Edward!"

Relief filled me and I brushed past James.

"Can I help you?" James asked rudely.

Edward looked him up and down and rolled his eyes.

"Do you want me to stay and help clean up tonight?"

I knew he was trying to save me from being pursued by James and for that I was eternally grateful.

"Ya, that would be great. We're short staffed tonight."

Edward nodded.

* * *

He stayed up at the bar with me until everyone had left, and it wasn't until then that I noticed James had disappeared. He must have left and thank god for that.

We cleaned up in record time and we spent it talking about random things as usual. I found myself dreading going home alone. Talking to Edward was so easy and light. I didn't even have to try to keep a conversation going; it just flowed.

When the cleaning was done we were the only two left. I spun the ring of keys around me finger and smile. I had done good.

Edward slipped into his coat and lingered by the door.

"You know how to set the alarm?" he asked.

I nodded and then internally kicked myself. I should have said no so he would stay and "show" me. I shifted my weight from one foot to another nervously.

"Well, I'll see ya later then I guess," he said.

I nodded, trying to come up with a reason for him to stay.

"Yep. 'Night."

"Goodnight."

He turned and left. I was all alone.

I turned off the light and headed to the back to lock the office and get my stuff. Emmett's office was very nice and very Emmett. It reminded me of the Mafia for some reason. I pulled my bag from the rack and went to grab my coat from the couch when the heavy iron door suddenly shut. I jumped in the air and then relaxed when I saw a tall figure in the dark shadows.

"Edward?" I guessed, trying to hide my smile.

There was a light chuckle.

"Wrong."

I instantly froze. All the alert systems in my body were going off like crazy, practically shouting DANGER! My whole body convulsed and the hairs on my spine stood straight up. There was no way this was happening to me.

James stepped out from the shadow into the light.

"How the hell did you get in here?" I commanded, keeping my voice strong. It failed me and broke on the last word.

He smiled evilly. "While you were flirting with that hasbeen, I snuck in here. I figured since you didn't want to be with me during work you would want to after. Quite clever, aren't I?"

"I don't want to be with you at all. In fact, if I don't leave in five minutes the alarm will go off and the cops will show up."

Okay, that was a lie. I didn't set the alarm yet. I wished I had.

James came closer.

"We both know you didn't. I'm sick of these games Bella. I don't like it when girls play games with me. It makes me very angry. You don't want me to get angry now, do you?" he whispered, stroking my cheek.

I cringed away and he laughed.

Fight or flight? Fight or flight? Oh right, flight. I'd have no change against him.

I took off past James but tripped over the trash can when he grabbed the back of my shirt and ripped it off. I fell to the ground and looked up at his sniffed my shirt and tossed it away.

"You've made me very angry Bella."

I tried to crawl to the door but he grabbed my arm and yanked me up, pressing himself against me. I was barely aware that I only had my bra on and my jeans. He suddenly kissed me fiercely. It was so fierce that it hurt. I yanked myself away and screamed, but he covered my mouth and pushed me down to the couch. I scooted to the very corner and tried to show I wasn't scared.

He started to kiss me again but I turned my face. He growled.

"Don't turn away from me!" he yelled so loud my ears hurt. The back of his hand flew against my cheek. I don't think it was hard enough to leave a mark though.

Then he was on top of me. I started screaming and struggling to get free.

"Stop moving!" he kept yelling.

If there was one thing my mother taught me, it was to never give up. You either escape or die trying. There was no giving up. Ever.

I suddenly found myself wishing Edward would bust through the door to save me. As long as he was here I would be fine. He never burst through though.

During my fight my cell phone went off twice. Who was it? Could they save me?

I was so close to giving up. James was strong than I was. So finally I stopped moving. I let my arms go limp and I shut down. Maybe he would leave because there was no fight. Maybe....

I was wrong. It was like an invitation. When I realized this I started thrashing again. He growled once more and tried to hold me down. Then something came down on top of my head. My eyes closed and I felt nothing.

* * *

**Edward POV**

I had a bad feeling. It was deep in my gut. It was telling me to go back to the bar. I was almost home, almost to a warm house and a warm bed. Bella was fine. But if she was fine then why was I so uneasy? What if that creep came back? I fought with my conscious until I decided to just call. She didn't answer her cell or her house phone. Was that a sign?

I suddenly did a quick U-turn, letting the tires on my Volvo squeak like crazy as I sped back to the bar.

Ah ha! Her car was still there. Odd, she should be home by now. I jumped from the car and ran inside. The door was still unlocked. Right as I stepped in I heard a scream from the back and then a loud bang. Something went through me right then, pure anger. For some reason I felt very protective of Bella. I don't know why. I mean, sure she was absolutely beautiful and sweet and amazing, but she was my friend. I had never felt this protective of someone who was just a friend. What was this?

I ignored that and sprinted to the back. Dammit, the door was locked. I started ramming myself against it. Why did Emmett have to have a freakin iron door? I looked around and nearly fell to my knees with thanks. The keys lay on the bar counter. I grabbed them and burst into the office. Bella lay limp and unconscious on the couch with James on top of her. On the ground was a broke vase and a dribble of blood dripped from Bella's head. A low hiss escaped my lips as I picked James up by the neck and pinned him against the wall.

He struggled for air and I wanted to kill him. I wanted him six feet under and I wanted it now. I would have killed him if it weren't for Bella lying on the couch with no shirt on. That piece of scum! I looked him straight in the eye.

"If you come within 100 miles of Bella ever again I will reach into your chest and pull out your heart and I am not even kidding. If I were you I'd get out of here."

I gave him one last shove before he sprinted from the office and out the door. I made sure he was gone before crouching down by Bella. I checked out her head but it was just a scratch luckily. I shook her gently.

"Bella? Bella can you hear me?"

Nothing.

I noticed how cold it was and she didn't have a shirt. I quickly took my coat off and held her up and put it on. That seemed to bring her back. She stirred and groaned.

"Bella? Are you alright? Please answer me!" I cried frantically.

Her right eye opened slightly and I sighed in relief.

"Edward?"

I nodded. A strange feeling suddenly washed over me. I had never been more relieved in my life.

"Do you want me to the call the cops?"

What a stupid question, of course I should.

She shook her head quickly.

"No...just forget it. He's gone...."she mumbled.

I nodded and gently picked her up.

"I'll take you home."

Her small arms weaved around my neck and she buried her face into my chest. I doubted she had any idea what was going on.

I set the alarm and lay her down in the back of my car, turning the heat on high.

* * *

Even barely conscious, Bella still gave me her address and I dug her keys from her jeans pocket. I carried her inside and placed her on her bed. It didn't look too comfortable so undressed her and put her in some warm looking sweats I found in her closet. I bent down by her side and pushed her away.

"Goodnight Bella..." I whispered.

Her eyes popped open and she became frantic.

"NO! Don't leave, you can't leave me all alone. Please, please stay with me!" she begged, clutching my collar.

I couldn't but smile at her helpless face. Where else would I go?

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here. Just get some sleep."

Her breathing slowed and she loosed her fingers from my shirt. I kissed her forehead and then sat in overstuffed chair in the corner, watching over her.

That night as she dreamed, she talked. At first it was moans and stuff like _Help!_ and _Don't go._ She it slowed and she whispered something that seemed to make my heart erratic. She whispered _Don't leave me Edward._ I thought she was awake, but she was dreaming. I knelt by her side, hoping to hear more. She whispered my name once more and then said _Forever._

_Forever._

**So...what did you think? Ya, most of you caught the general idea, but I bet you didn't anticipate all that other stuff happening! Leave a review if you love this story!**

* * *


	7. Gut Feelings

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Well, as usual the reviews rocked my socks right off. Now my feet are cold. :) For any confusion about how far it went...well you'll see. And if you remember correctly her shirt was off because when she tried to run he grabbed her by the back and ripped it off. Hope that clears some of it up for you who might have been confused.**

**Enjoy...:)**

**Bella POV**

My eyes opened slowly, letting the morning light blind me. I quickly slapped my arm over my face and groaned. Another day to face...

That was when I realized what happened the night before. I sat up so quickly that I blacked out and I had to let the blurry images adjust for a moment before I could see clearly. All the events of last night rushed to my memory. James, the bar, the office...I started to hyperventilate for a bit, trying to remember everything. I noticed then that I was in my room. How did I get here? The last thing I remember was being hit on the head with something and then blacking out and then....

I quickly stole a glance to my chair and saw him there, sleeping peacefully. Edward was here, in my room, in my apartment, sleeping! He was beautiful, god-like even. And he saved my life. I thought the whole thing was a dream, him putting his coat on me, carrying me, kissing my forehead. My hand immediately touched the spot where his lips had been and I sighed.

And then all the happiness vanished. I replayed every thing that happened until I was huddled in a ball shaking. James had come that close, or had he? I checked my body for bruises, just a few on my wrists and probably my face. The only thing that throbbed was my head from being hit. I wasn't sore anywhere else, and if he had succeeded I would be. A quickly sigh of relief escaped my lips and I lay back down on my pillow. I let the thought of Edward being right there soothe me back to sleep.

* * *

When I woke up again my eyes immediately searched for Edward. Instead I was greeted with Alice suddenly throwing her arms around me. I could barely breathe as she fell on top of me and rolled over. All I could hear were her frantic cries.

"Bella! I'm so glad you're okay! After Edward called this morning I came right over. I was such a worried wreck. I didn't know if you would wake up or not!" she cried.

"Alice, calm down. Let her breathe a little," the sweetest voice I'd ever heard said.

I peeked around her small shoulders and saw Edward walk into the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. He had the strangest expression. It was almost like he was...glowing.

She let go and wiped her eyes. It was a lost cause because they just overflowed again.

"Alice, why are you here? You should be with Jasper," I said, disapproval coloring my tone.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, the wretched old woman is already dead. Their mother hated me and I hated her too. Besides, you are way more important."

I sighed and hugged her again.

"I'm fine. Nothing even happened," I said, trying to play it off casually.

Edward was suddenly at my side, outraged.

"Nothing happened? Bella he almost...you could have been..."he couldn't even complete a thought. "That low life is just lucky I didn't hunt him down. If I hadn't gotten there just at the right time..."

He bent his head and tried to even his breathing. Instinctively I reached out and placed my hand on top of his which was clutching my sheet.

"Edward, you saved me last night. I-I don't even have the words to express how thankful I am." I started choking up with tears. He was out of this world. "I owe you everything."

He looked up, again with that odd expression.

"You owe me nothing Bella."

Our eyes locked and I couldn't look away. It was so powerful. It was then that I realized I wasn't just infatuated with him, but I was in love with Edward.

I jumped when Alice's cell phone started going off. She released me and left the room to answer it. No doubt that it was Jasper. I looked down at my hand which was now clutching Edward's. My face turned red and I removed it.

"Are you really okay? You were bleeding last night, and there's bruises on your arms...and your face."

He was horrified when he mentioned my face. His hand slowly ran the length of my cheek, back and forth. The trail he left burned, though his hands were cold, probably from not having a blanket or anything last night.

"I feel alright. I'm in shock and just freaking out a little bit, but physically I'm fine. The bruises will heal."

His face was torn, it was like he wanted to say something but he didn't know how.

"Last night, Bella, seeing you like that...so helpless, it almost couldn't stand it. I was going to to kill him...I wanted to, but then saw you and I just let him go. I felt like I was there for a reason, like someone was trying to tell me something. The feeling I had when I was in the car was unbelievable. It was so powerful...and then when you were sleeping...you said-"

He was cut off by Alice prancing into the room, all smiles. She handed me a cup of...tea?

"Alice, what is this?"

She plopped down next to me.

"Herbal tea. The package said it would be good to help calm yourself, but I think that's a bunch of crap so I loaded it with sugar and cream," she said matter of factly.

I sniffed the tea unsure and took a sip. It took all my will to not spit it right back out. I set the cup down gently.

"I'll pass."

Edward handed me his cup of coffee and I sipped it gratefully.

"Jasper called. Things are going well. Things are going well here too," she added.

I eyed her suspiciously. "What's with the happy mood all of the sudden?"

She toned down her smile.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I sighed. I was a little irked that she interupted what Edward was about to say. I had no idea how to bring up the conversation again.

Edward got up and stretched. I'll go make you something to eat. Alice followed him out.

* * *

**Edward POV**

"What do you want, Alice?" I asked, sensing she was right behind me.

I dug around the fridge until I found some eggs and bacon. Surely she liked this? It was in her fridge.

When I turned around Alice was right there.

"Geez! What? Shouldn't you be with Bella?"

She was smirking.

"Shouldn't _you _be with Bella?"

Her face was all lit up like a childs at Christmas.

"What does that mean? And what's with the smiley happy thing suddenly? You were a wreck five minutes ago," I demanded.

"Oh, don't even start that big brother. I saw what went on in their," she insisted.

I glared at her.

"You don't know anything."

She laughed, a trilling noise. "I know a lot more than you think. I saw how you looked at her...and I've been seeing how she looks at you. It's amazing that you two haven't figured it out yet!"

I took a deep breath so I wouldn't yell and then faced her.

"And what is that?" I asked, acid evident in my tone.

"That you are in love with her. Admit it, you are!"

Was she serious? This was Bella we are talking about. I care for Bella, a lot, but loving her? That couldn't be what I was feeling last night. I knew what love felt like...this wasn't it? Was it? The sudden need to see her again washed over me. Was she okay? I knew she wouldn't want to be alone after last night. Maybe a quick peek...

"I'm not! She's just a really good friend. A friend who needs me," I stated.

A friend? What was that? I remembered last night, what she said. My heart started poudning and my knees went a little weak.

Alice was suddenly in front of me, holding my hands in her tiny hands.

"Edward, I've seen you farther down than anyone should. You don't see the changes that I do, that we all do. I mean, after Tanya...now that you've met Bella it's like the light is back in your eyes. You're coming to the bar again, you're laughing and smiling. You're being social. You may not see it now, but you will. You know how I just know stuff will happen. I have a gut feeling again...this is right."

She was so sincere I almost believed her. I quickly evaded it. I wasn't any good for Bella. She deserved someone perfect and amazing, two things I wasn't.

"Not again with the gut feelings!" I cried.

She dropped my hands and glared at me sourly.

"You'll see. I can't wait for the big _I-told-you-so_ moment," she said, sticking out her tongue.

I rolled my eyes, but then smiled at her to show no hard feelings. Alice laughed and then danced her way back into Bella's bedroom.

* * *

**Bella POV**

"What were you two talking about?" I asked as Alice entered my room again.

She jumped onto my bed and hugged me.

"Nothing of consequence, just sibling stuff. I'm just so happy you're here and okay."

I raised my eyebrow. "Uhm yea, me too."

Yep, just as I thought. There was definately something going on.

* * *

**Sorry, I know this is a little short but I just wanted to get it out for you. You guys are so patient and amazing!! Thank you so much!! Reviews make me smile!!**


	8. Dancing

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

Thank you thank you thank you for the fantasical reviews ladies...or men, don't know which gender dominates here. Looks like my authors note will be short today...that's a shocker.

**Enjoy...:)**

**Bella POV**

When Alice left at two to make the funeral, Edward and I migrated from my bed to the couch. The silence was almost unbearable. I wanted so badly to bring up what Alice interupted but I didn't know how. What if he didn't even want to talk about it? What if Edward was glad Alice walked in. I couldn't take that kind of rejection. Now that I knew how deep my feelings were for him, I scared that I might appear forward and he would leave. At the moment I'd rather cut my arm off than let him leave.

I was fumbling with my hands when he spoke.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered.

I looked up startled; his face was closer than I'd thought and his eyes seemed to stun me. All I could look at were those bright emerald gems, sparkling at me. It was almost as if he were...dazzling me. I blinked and cleared my head, trying to remember what I was going to say.

"Oh...uhm...."

Oh crap, I couldn't even remember my name!

"You looked so concentrated..."

I took a deep breath and looked again. He was farther away but still staring at me with his piercing eyes. It was cheesy to think, but it was almost as if by looking at me so intensely he were tapping into my soul, like he could just understand me suddenly.

"Well...about a lot of things," I said.

He leaned against the back of the couch, shifting his body to face me and resting his head on his arm.

"Like what?"

It was weird seeing him relax on my couch. I felt like someone should have an easle set up to paint him.

I blushed and looked down, embarrassed.

He chuckled lightly. "I love it when you blush."

I gasped slightly and looked up at him. His smile vanished like he was a little kid getting caught doing something wrong.

"Sorry, was that weird?" he laughed. "I always speak my mind around you, I can't help it. I feel oddly comfortable with you."

I think my heart melted at that exact moment.

"No...it's not weird....I uhm....I feel the same way," I admitted.

Again our eyes locked and it was even more powerful this time. It was like an electric current were pulling us together but we weren't moving. I realized then that we were inches away from each other. I could just reach out and touch him...if only I were that brave. One part of my brain told me to let it out, say that I loved him, yet the other more sensible part told me to keep quiet, he wouldn't want me anyway. And why should he? I was just a plain girl who was lying to him. I wasn't pretty like all the girls I've seen him with. I didn't have charm and I wasn't funny or graceful.

His voice broke the hold.

"So, are you going to tell me or not?" he asked, a curious edge in the background.

Oh why not?

"Well....earlier you...uhm, you said something, or I mean you were going to say something-"my words were coming out jumbled with my nerves. I paused for a breath to clear my mind. "What were you going to say earlier, when Alice walked in? It sounded....well, important."

I looked at him with curious, wide eyes. He dropped his and furrowed his brow. He was purposely trying to not remember.

"So...was it?" I pushed.

He struggled internally for a minute more before meeting my gaze again.

"It wasn't important, really. Just me ranting on. I told you, I say too much around you."

He smirked and did the dazzley thing with his eyes again.

The phone rang, breaking his concentration and rendering my speechless. I composed myself and answered the phone, still looking at him.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Is that you? You sound like hell."

I sighed.

"I'm fine Andrew. What can I do for you?"

I turned away so Edward wouldn't see my face. I could easily let the whole thing slip out if he dazzled me again.

"I want a one page write up tomorrow. Fill it with juicy details about Edwin and how he rescued you by that bar creep. I need to see how things are coming along."

"How did you know about that?" I ignored the fact that he could never remember Edward's name.

He laughed. "I know everything, it's my job. Now get on it! I have a meeting with Daniel this afternoon again and I need to go clean up some."

The line went dead and I hung up. Great...now my happy feelings were gone and the guilt washed over me as I turned to see Edward.

"Who's Andrew?" he asked casually.

"My cousin. He's just telling me some family gossip."

I was amazed at how smoothly my lies came lately. It felt like my whole life here was a lie. Here I was in love with Edward and I couldn't even tell him the truth.

He shrugged.

I tried to lighten the mood a little.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" I asked.

I saw his eyes tighten. "We're going to the police station."

I immediately started to object but he stopped me.

"Bella, we have to report it. You can't let James get away with this! What if tries to hurt another girl, do you want that? What if he comes after you again? One thing is for sure, I'll kill him if he does."

"Please Edward, can't we just leave it? I'm fine, I didn't die!"

His voice was torn and full of pain.

"Why? Why do you want to drop it?"

He was pleading with me, trying to understand. I didn't understand myself.

"Edward, I don't need that stress. I'm sure you scared him to death, if he has a brain he'll stay away. "

He grabbed my hands gently in his. They seemed to fit perfectly together. I couldn't help but think at how nice they looked together.

"Bella...please just understand. This is a seriously big deal, he commited a crime, more than one crime. You don't know how easy it would have been for him. He...he could have killed you..."

Edward dropped my handed and hunched over, covering his face with them. Tears started trickling out my eyes. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, that was my natural instinct, but was that the right thing to do?

Slowly I placed my left hand on his back and started to rub it up and down. That seemed appropriate, right?

"Edward, I didn't die. I was lucky, I escaped before anything got me. You _saved _me. Please don't be sad," I whispered.

He lifted his head and my arm dropped, going limp at my side. His face was inches from mine. If I had courage I would have closed the space and kissed him, but I didn't.

Instead he looked away sadly and got up.

"I should go, I've got to get some work done. You'll be okay here until tonight, right? I had Alice drive your car back here this morning so you don't need to worry about that."

He headed over to my hat rack and doned on his gray peacoat that he tied around me last night. The only thing from that which I remembered was that it smelled amazing.

"Oh...uhm yea, I'll be fine." I tried to not let my tone sound hurt. I didn't want him to leave me, not now.

He nodded and quickly left. I heard the door slam shut, but I kept staring at my balcony. The clouds were moving away and the sun shone through the room, making the glass sparkle. The tears flowed relentlessly down my face.

* * *

I tried my very hardest to write a full page. It would have been easy to write ten pages. Edward was so fascinating and mysterious, that I could fill a novel with details and ideas and the little yet mesmorizing facts I knew.

Instead I focused on his character and how I knew there must be a secret from his past that made him the person he was. I wrote about how he saved me, but everything I wrote I left hanging, that way Andrew would want more. This was my first major story with the paper and I had to be good. I couldn't get fired, I had to show them that I could write seriously and I was good at it. I pushed aside the guilt and decided my job was the main priority. I came to Seattle to work and Andrew was right, journalism was a dirty business and people got hurt. I knew that it was wrong to lie this way, but maybe they would understand. I wasn't bashing them or anything...well I hoped not.

I emailed the page in and then checked the clock. It was 4:30, I still had a bit before leaving. Emmett called earlier to tell me I could skip work, but I insisted that I was fine and I would be there. Apparently the funeral went well until everyone congregated to the country club where Alice started telling everyone the late Ms. Hale hated her which caused uproar and one of Rosalie's great aunts broke her hip. I tried to not laugh but it slipped out anyway.

When I got to work everyone seemed back in good spirits. Emmett was telling Rosalie a stupid joke but she was too busy fluffing her hair to notice. Alice was setting up with the DJ and singing along when he tested the sound system out. It made me smile as I stood on the top steps, looking down. In the past month they had become my family and seeing them candid this way was comforting. There was a slight moisture build up from how welcoming they had been...well most of them, Rosalie was the one exception. They had just taken me in no questions asked. Writing this story felt like betrayal...but it was something I had to do.

"Bella? What are you staring at?" Alice's voice trilled.

She started dancing over to me, swinging her hips and waving her arms.

"Is she crying?" Rosalie sneered.

I ignored that as Alice tossed her arms daintly around me and dragged me down to the dance floor. I laughed when she let go and started dancing, trying to get me to join. My face turned tomato red as I backed away.

"Uhm...I don't dance...like, at all," I said.

She stopped and looked at me like I wasn't mentally competent.

"Bella, I saw you at the club the other night. You were sexy hot with those dance moves!"

If it was possible my face burned even hotter.

"I wasn't dancing, really. I don't dance! Ugh!"

She impatiently tapped the toe of her pink high heeled foot.

"Bella, anyone can dance. I know you're clumsy, but come on. Eric! Give me a beat," she called to the booth.

Eric, the DJ, turned on some danceable music.

Her hips swayed and before I knew it she was dancing like a natural. I just watched as she spun around and bent down and did things I'd never be able to.

"Come on Bella!"she cried. I stepped back but she just grabbed my arms and twirled me around, pushing me until I started dancing with her.

"Rosalie! Let's show her how it's done," Alice called when I still refused to go all out.

I stepped to the side and watched their show. I was seriously impressed. I knew it was all on the spot, but it looked like they did this every night, which I'm sure they did. The routine was flawless and would make any guy go crazy.

"Where did you guys learn that?" I asked.

Alice shrugged," Practice Bella. Come on, just let loose and forget everything. Just dance!"

She grabbed me and started twisting me and spinning me. I stumbled a lot at first, even to the point where I fell on top of her. She just got back up and continued dancing. The music got faster and I found myself tripping less as I got used to it. At one point Alice pushed her body against mine and we twisted up and down. I could tell I looked like a chicken on fire or something, but I kept going. The background all blurred together and I kept up with Alice. I swear I even heard Rosalie cheer me on.

Finally when I was too tired I tripped over my own feet and Alice caught me. The music stopped and I looked around.

My eyes stopped on the front door where Edward stood. His mouth was wide open, he looked shocked.

"Wow, there's a side I've never seen of Bella," Emmett roared, tearing my attention away.

I blushed hard and self-consciously walked behind the bar.

"I cannot believe I just did that," I muttered.

Alice slapped my back.

"You were hot. A few more practices before we open and you'll be ready to dance when the whole club is watching," she explained.

I snorted. "Good luck with that!"

"Hey! Edward, here again? I feel so honored," Emmett hollered.

We all looked back up at him and I noticed Alice had a peculiar look on her face. I didn't bother asking, afraid of what she might say.

"Oh, uhm, actually..."

His eyes shifted to me and he looked away. When he did his face looked almost pained. I looked down embarrassed.

"I can't stay, I just came by to say that. I have stuff to do tonight."

Alice raised her eyebrow. "You came all the way down here to say you can't come?"

He nodded nervously and shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"Yeah, but I've got to go. Bye!"

He turned and left the building.

"He is so weird," Rosalie murmered.

Everyone continued their work except Alice. She was staring at the front door deep in concentration like she was trying to figure something out. I gignored it and went back to polishing the bar top.

* * *

**This chapter was a little longer than usual, just because I didn't update for a while and you are all so amazing and patient! You make me so happy with your long reviews!!!**


	9. The Last Puzzle Piece

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**To start us off, I would like to express my immense gratitude for the amazingly wonderfuly fantastical reviews I get! I love you all are so detailed and you pick out what you liked best or you give me tips or stuff like that. I also love when you say stuff like "Oh I hate James" or "Bella is being unreasonable" That makes me feel good because I want you to feel that way so when you say you feel that way it means I've done a good job portraying that so thank you!**

**I know you are all anxiously waiting for the moment when Edward and Bella finally get together...and it's coming soon...just not this chapter! I like to drag things out, if you hadn't noticed. Anyways...how about we continue on with the story...**

**Enjoy :)**

**Sorry this one took a little longer...I had planned to have it out Friday.**

**Bella POV**

The night was slow.

I couldn't concentrate and I had already messed up two orders. Every five minutes I looked up at the door, hoping to see him standing there. Each time I was let down and I went back to my work. It was sick how obsessed I was with him, he consumed every thought in my brain. Every time someone with copper hair waded through the crowds my stomach would do flips and then drop when it wasn't him. Every time I heard an alluringly charming voice I checked to see.

I was on my last shred of hope.

"He's not coming back."

I jumped at the sound of Alice's voice. She was standing right next to me and who knew how long she had been there. I let reality set in around me.

"Who?" I asked indifferently. I tried to play it cool, but I knew the jig was up. Anyone who payed extreme attention to me (as Alice did) would be able to see.

"Don't you think I have no idea that you like my brother," she accused.

I started to wipe the bar down with all my strength.

She giggled. "Don't be embarrassed! I think it's great!"

I paused for a moment. She thinks it's _great_? I slowly turned to face her.

"You do?" I asked curiously.

She started bouncing up and down, clapping her hands.

"Oh I knew it! You love him! You SO love him!" she squealed.

I hushed her quickly and made sure no one saw her little show.

"Shh, keep it down!"

Her smile was so wide that it spread to me, making me smile and then blush after remembering what she just did.

"Yes I think it's great! I've been waiting for you two to realize it! Geez, the tension between you two makes me want to scream! I'm afraid that you'll spontaneously combust soon," she teased.

My face grew hot as I looked down. I was kind of relieved that she knew now. When I looked back up she was smirking at me.

"You two will be the cutest couple after Jasper and I."

I rolled my eyes. "There's only one problem to that idea."

Her eyes narrowed in confusion. I knew she was meantally going over every detail to see what she missed. I sighed.

"Edward. He doesn't like me that way."

Her face went blank and then she slowly rolled her eyes.

"Please, that boy is crazy for you, he just doesn't know it. I've told him that he's in love with you, but he just can't see that's what it is."

I mixed myself a drink and chugged half of it before answering.

"Yea right. Men like Edward don't fall for people like me, people who are clumsy and plain and boring and probably helplessly pathetic," I snorted.

Alice put her hands on her hips and glared at me.

"Take that back right now Isabella! You are gorgeous and amazing and funny! You don't see yourself clearly _at all_ if that is what you think. Edward would be stupid to _not _fall for you," she stated matter-of-factly.

I shook my head in disagreement and tried to find something to keep my hands busy. Alice interrupted me and took my hands in hers.

"Bella, you and Edward falling in love is inevitable. I have a sense for things, like I just have these feelings and I feel that you two will have an amazing relationship. You didn't see the way he was looking at you this morning. I haven't seen him that happy in over a year. Ever since he met you, Edward has changed drastically. You've made him back to the old Edward. Besides, why would he come down here to tell us he can't come tonight? Think about it Bella..."

That reminded me...I knew there was something from his past, a story lurking there.

"Alice..."I paused and tried to think of how I would word this. "Did something happen? To Edward, I mean. It just seems like, well I don't know..."

Alice's face fell and she nodded.

"Yea....my parents had some really good friends and they had three daughters and one of them was named Tanya. She was head over heels for Edward. My parents thought they would be the best couple but Edward didn't see her that way. After they died Edward got really depressed and after he was hospitalized for dehydration, Tanya was there. She helped him back to normal and they just started dating. I didn't think they were a good match, they just weren't right, but she made Edward happy again and I didn't want to interfere. Anyway, they got engaged and last year as the big wedding. We waited and waited and waited...but Tanya never showed up. She just left Edward at the alter. We've never seen here since.

"Edward never was the same. I mean, he quit coming to the bar and he just worked all the time. His girlfriends were atrociously skanky and we were all really worried." She paused and smiled at me. "Then he met you. The world shifted and the light returned to his eyes. He is more happy around you than he was with Tanya. Bella...trust me on this one, Edward feels the same way. Just give him some time, he'll figure it out eventually."

I looked away and started messing with the rag I was using to wipe the bar down with. So clearly Edward had been in love before. What if he was waiting for her? I bet she was beautiful. I thought knowing the final piece to the Edward puzzle would make me feel better...but it just made me feel worse. Edward had a fiance. He was going to get married. If he left her that would be one thing, but it was her that just left. Edward could still be in love with her and I was probably just making a fool of myself.

"But Tanya has got nothing on you," Alice continued. "She was such a tease. Sure, she was beautiful, and it was hilarious to watch her and Rosalie compete for the most beautiful over the years, but she didn't use it well. For her beauty was an asset to get people to notice her. She'd play them, dangle them on her gold wire and then cut them loose and laugh. I can't even begin to count how many hearts she broke. She was completely obsessed with her looks (even more than Rosalie is) and such a narcissist. That's why I was surprised she stayed with Edward so long, and even got engaged with him. I have to say, Edward really changed her. She was different and by the time the wedding came along, I was positive she'd changed. But when she didn't show my expectations went up in flames with her.

"That is why you are so perfect. Bella, you're so intelligent and unintentionally funny. You don't take anything for granted and you've got a conscious."

I laughed. "Please, I'm none of those things. I'm not even that pretty. Haven't you notice? Edward only goes for unbelievably hot girls."

"Oh whatever!" she scoffed. "You're gorgeous, Bella. Were you not listening five minutes ago when I told you you don't see yourself clearly? I wasn't kidding then and I'm not now. Just take a chance on him."

By that time Alice was shaking my shoulders and piercing me with her bright, blue eyes.

"Okay, okay. Just take it easy. I've got to get back to work, okay?"

She eyed me carefully and then went into the back office.

* * *

The next afternoon Andrew called and demanded that I meet him at work immediately. So I got dressed and reluctantly drove down to the paper.

He was waiting patiently in his office for me when I peeked in.

"Well come in!"

I slid in and shut the double doors. He stared at me for a long until I decided to say something.

"Did you like it?"

Andrew barely moved. "No."

Oh. I looked at me feet, ashamed.

"I _loved_ it!"

My eyes glanced up. Andrew was on his feet and smiling. _Smiling._ He rarely smiled.

"Bella, that whole piece was amazing. Edward is a character only found in books, so complex and mysterious! I really want to know what happens next! And the tiny tidbits about his family, the body-builder owner who is more like a child, that narsissitic girlfriend who hates you....all those things were so interesting! I can tell this piece will be the best of our year. Think of the attention we will receive! I could even bump you up to politics if it does well!"

Then I had to burst his bubble.

"But Sir, this whole thing just seems about Edward. I thought the whole article was supposed to be about the success of the bar, how it got that way. You know, behind-the-scenes sort of stuff."

His grin stretched farther across his face.

"That is just what I wanted to talk to you about Bella. I had an epiphany, a burst of intuition if you will. These days people want to hear gossip, juicy stuff. That comes from people so now we are going to focus on the _people_ that make the bar tick. I want to know their pasts, present, and future."

"But Edward doesn't even work there-"

Andrew cut me off. "I know, but his family owns it, so he is part of them. His story is even more interesting than all of theirs combined. If only we knew why he was so unopen and mysterious..."

"Oh, I found that out last night."

Andrew's eyes sparkled. I told him the same story Alice told me. I included all the details about Tanya and everything.

"Bella...we've got a story."

Suddenly that tiny voice in my head warned me that the Cullens might not like it. They were going to hate me after this...even Edward, but I was in too deep now. I kicked the voice away. This was my job. When I came here journalism meant everything to me. There was no reason to back down, this story could make me one of the top writers. I could get front page stories.

"You can leave now, that's all."

I got shakily, still thinking about what is ethically right and wrong. Andrew's voice stopped me.

"Hey Bella?"

I turned around.

"Take it easy. I know you can do it."

I smiled, almost shocked. When he pulled the stick from his ass, Andrew was a pretty cool guy.

* * *

**Here it is! Reviews are appreciated!**


	10. Confessions

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Okay, I seriously love you guys! The reviews are so amazing! Normally a writer would be sad if the reviewers hated their main character...but I'm not! You really put a lot of passion into your reviews so I can get to know you all better. I love how connected you all to Bella and the annoyance you feel with her. Sweetdreams82, you make me laugh so hard! I love your reviews because you are blunt and tell me how it is, which I wish more people did. **

**I'm glad you are all annoyed with Bella, but only one person has actually seen it through her perspective and sort of understood why she is doing this. That would be amenokyoku. The thing is, Bella came to write and I know first hand how dirty journalism is. I was on the paper last year and my teacher said that sometimes you have to lie and twist peoples words which was really hard for me...but it's really fun, lol. Bella loves writing and this means so much to her, but the whole time she is battling with her conscious. The only thing is...which part of her is stronger?**

**And you all think she is playing the Cullens...but she isn't. She really does care for all of them, especially Edward. **

**Wow...that was a very long authors note, but I had to get some stuff out there. I really want you all to just understand how Bella is feeling through all of this. But thanks soooo so much for the amazing reviews, I wish I could come up with some non-cliche way to thank you for being honest and giving me feedback. I have some pretty amazing fans. Now let's get on with the story..shall we?**

**_Oh yes, so starting this week I may not be posting as much as I usually do. Christmas is coming up and I'll be crazy busy, but I'll try to squeeze in a few chapters. Hopefully I can, we'll see how it pans out._**

**Bella POV**

_Edward was mysterious and drawn back. His elegant ways made him the classic, desirable gentlemen so widely sought after. It would seem that a broken heart and social isolation would do that to anyone...but I believe he has always been this way. So what makes him the man he is? Why does it seem that a man who has everything...is still searching for that final piece. How could someone so brilliant not have his perfect mate?_

I stopped after that and stared down my computer screen. I had started writing the middle of my article, something I usually did when I didn't know what to say. I started with the middle and end and then went back to the beginning. All I wanted to write about was Edward. I wanted to write about everything and I knew and everything I felt. I didn't want people to read it, I didn't want them to know about the most magnificent creature ever. I wanted him all to myself. I _wanted_ him.

I was so enthralled with my paper that when someone knocked on the door I jumped and fell off my chair.

"OW!"

I rubbed my head where I bumped it on the side of my desk and pulled myself up.

"Who is it?" I called out.

"Bella? Are you alright?" the voice answered.

I stood up straight. No...

I ran to the door and flung it open. Edward stood there with a look of concern on his face.

"Are you okay? I heard a bump and then you kind of moaned. Is it your head?"

He noticed me clutching my head.

"No, I'm fine. I just bumped it. What are you doing here?"

Edward walked inside and I shut the door, checking my hand for blood. It was clean so I just rubbed it until I felt the small bump.

"Oh, just stopping by."

I looked at my clothes quickly, making sure they were decent and thank god they were.

"Do you need anything?"

Edward was making his way to my desk where my laptop was wide open. My eyes split open and I ran ahead of him, tripping and falling over the desk. Luckily I smacked the laptop closed. Edward grabbed my arm to steady me and I stood up, blushing.

"What was that?" I asked before chuckling.

I shrugged and started to laugh with him.

"Just some private stuff..."

We stood there laughing for a few minutes before catching my breath. I finally got ahold of myself.

"So, was there any specific reason you came here tonight? I have to leave in a few minutes for work."

Edward just shook his head. "No..I just..."

He stopped himself. Of course that only made me more curious.

"No, tell me."

He was trying to not look at me, but he failed miserably. He finally looked at me and that same glow came over his face again.

"I just wanted to see you again, since I didn't come last night," he admitted, blushing.

I wanted to touch his cheek so badly. He'd never blushed in front of me before. It was incredibly sexy.

"Well then," I whispered. "I'm glad you came."

He stepped away from me and surveyed the apartment. I frowned. Great, I freaked him out being too forward.

**Edward POV**

I cannot believe I just said that to her. _I wanted to see you again?_

What the hell? How much more desperate could I sound? I blushed on sight.

"Well then," she whispered. "I'm glad you came."

They way she said it made my stomach knot up. I sucked in a breath and turned away. How did she have that affect on me? What was wrong with me? Why did I even come here?

I looked around without seeing. I wanted so badly to turn around and see her face. Alice's words popped into my head. She thinks I'm in love with her. I peeked around to see Bella watching me carefully. She had a peculiar look in her eyes. It was almost...loving?

Suddenly the conversation I had last night with Alice came to mind. She had called me, full of excitement. I remembered something she had said.

_"...I know you love her, Edward. I can see the way your face lights up. Your emotions are so much stronger around her than they were with Tanya. You can trust her, she won't go anywhere....I think she loves you too..."_

I didn't want to believe that. I was a complicated wreck. I didn't deserve Bella, she needed someone better. Someone who could love her whole heartedly. How could she love me anyway? I've been such a jerk to her.

So why could I not stand being away from her? Alice must be going crazy.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

I turned to face her. She spoke so softly and so filled with sincerity. It was like she cared about me...maybe she did.

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine thanks."

And then she smiled. My heart seemed to melt and I had the urge to wrap her in my arms. I felt my face getting hot and she just smiled more, her face was so soft and smooth. Her eyes were the warmest brown I had ever seen. Her lips were plump and pink...I wanted to feel them. I wanted to feel her. And it all made sense.

Dammit Alice was right! In those two seconds it was like my whole world had shifted. Like instead of Bella blurring into the background she stood out while everything else blurred away.

I was in love with her. I was undoubtedly in love with Bella Swan.

**Bella POV**

When he turned to look at me, I smiled. His face narrowed and then suddenly went blank, like he was thinking. I smiled a little wider and his face glowed again. His eyes sparkled and turned liquidy. I felt my love for Edward grow even stronger at this. He had never looked at me this way before.

"Why are you looking at me that way?"

I tried to be stern, but I was far too flattered so it came out girlish.

Edward just shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "You were giving me a look."

I expected him to laugh like my mother did. I used to always accuse her of giving me some sort of "look". He didn't. Instead he looked down, like I had caught him doing something. What was that supposed to mean?

"I am not giving you a look," he mumbled.

Suddenly everything clicked in my mind. These were the exact things I always did around him. What if Alice was right? What if he _does_ love me too? I reached out and tried to touch his hand, but he moved it. I had never see this side of him.

"It's okay...you can trust me," I insisted.

Maybe he was still scared to love someone again. He shouldn't worry about me, I would never leave.

Then his eyes were on mine...looking deeply, almost as if he were searching for something hidden there. I gulped.

"What did you say?"

I tried to stay strong and not be weak. I could do this, I could tell him how I felt.

"Alice told me...and it's okay. Edward, I-"

I choked up. How could I say it? I'd never been really good about sharing my emotions. I usually kept to myself and this was really hard for me.

"What did Alice tell you?" he asked cautiously, saying each word carefully. It was like he already knew.

I blushed.

"She told me about Tanya, but you can trust me. Edward I..." I paused and took a deep breath. This was it. "I love you. I love you so much and I can't even put into words how I feel about you. You don't have to be scared, I won't leave. Alice said it's been hard for you, but I just wanted you to know that."

I had always pictured this moment in my head. I would say it and then Edward would pull me close. We'd lock eyes and then he would passionately kiss me. I would have the most amazing night of my life and everything would be okay.

The picture in my head was very wrong. Edward's eyes turned black with rage.

"Alice doesn't know anything! I can't believe she told you about my past. That was private!"

I stepped back, a little scared. He was really upset. He didn't want me to know that part of him I guess.

"Edward please, just calm down. This isn't Alice's fault. I just told you I love you and you shouldn't be getting this angry!"

He stopped his tirade for a moment and looked into my eyes.

"You shouldn't love me. I'm not good enough for you. Don't love me."

His words stung. I felt moisture build up in my eyes. I didn't want to cry in front of him. Instead I found myself becoming angry.

"Who are you to tell me who I should love? I think you're better than me if you really want to know. You can't convince me otherwise!"

We were both yelling, advancing in step. This defineately wasn't going as planned. I found all my passion going into anger.

"Better than you? Bella don't be stupid. I'm scum!"

Blood rushed to my face and boiled beneath the surface. My hand started twitching. I was inches from his gorgeous face. His hot breath blew into my face, making my knees go weak. And before I could stop it my hand flew up and smacked him in the face. He did a double take and grabbed his red cheek.

"Don't you ever say that," I hissed. "You're brilliant and smart and charming. You are perfect."

Tears fell down my face with all my rage. My heartbeat started to slow as we stared at each other, shocked. I just slapped him. The realization hit. I slapped him because he thinks he is scum. What is wrong with me?

I was about to open my mouth to apologize when Edward closed the distance between us with one stride. He roughly took me in his arms, wrapping his own tightly around me until our bodies welded together. It was a perfect fit. I saw his eyes fill with love and passion for two seconds before he crushed his lips fiercely to mine. My hands wormed their way around his neck and tangled in his magnificent bronze hair. Ours mouths continued to dance together as we stumbled backwards until I was pressed against a wall. We were as close as possible but that wasn't enough. Edward lifted me so that the force from the wall kept me up and I could wrap my legs around his waist.

This was the best moment of my life.

I turned my lips away so I could say something. Edward wasn't letting go. He just started leaving a trail of butterfly kissed all around my face and then moved to my neck. Our breathing was ragged and rough.

"I love you so much," I panted.

I wanted to say so much more but his mouth landed on mine, taking all my breath out. I don't know long it had been, but he suddenly stopped for a breath. I slid down the wall until my feet touched the floor, but he kept me pressed against his body. I looked up into his eyes which were filled will so much love my heart just about melted. He leaned down and rested his forehead to mine.

"I'll love you til the day I die Isabella Swan."

And then he kissed me.

* * *

***Insert Screams of Joy Here* Reviews are appreciated! **


	11. Greek God

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**WOW! I LOVE YOU GUYS! I think last chapter got the BEST reviews ever! You all make me laugh so hard...I think I'll do a few shout outs.**

**raven shadow heart: Thank you so much! I would have never thought someone would say that was the most romantic hookup ever!**

**amenokyoku: As usual, you leave the longest and best reviews. I try to make it so detailed because I love feeling what the characters are feeling and I'm glad I can make you feel that!**

**Human Vampyre: You made me laugh out loud, no joke! I'm glad you're riled up! I was so tense writing that chapter!**

**siromygod: Hands down best review of all. I can TOTALLY picture our very own Spunk Ransom saying that! I think they should put that line in the New Moon movie, lol. But that made my day, and the fact that you think this ff is the greatest declaration to love ever. You are a rockstar.**

**Everyone else your reviews made me smile and laugh and scream with joy as well! You are all superheroes to me because you review! Keep that awesomeness..and as always, enjoy!**

**_Oh yes, so starting this week I may not be posting as much as I usually do. Christmas is coming up and I'll be crazy busy, but I'll try to squeeze in a few chapters. Hopefully I can, we'll see how it pans out._**

**Bella POV**

Edward and I had ended up in a tangled mess on the floor. How it happened I don't even remember. All I could think about was him kissing me and holding me tighter and every so often whispering how much he loved me and how long he'd been waiting for this. My heart soared at the very thought of this perfect creature being in love with _me._ I didn't deserve him at all, I barely deserved the dirt on his shoes let alone his heart.

When we eventually came up for air I laughed at our legs intertwined on the ground. He laughed with me and pulled me even closer so I could rest my head on his chest.

And there we lay, perfectly content.

Of course the phone had to ring, ruining the moment though.

I gritted my teeth and cursed whoever was calling me and then pulled my phone from my pocket.

"Yeah?" I huffed.

"Bella where the hell are you? You're thirty minutes late! Are you okay?" Alice's slightly paniced voice rang.

I immediately sat up and checked the clock. Crap! The bar opened in thirty minutes.

"Uhm...no! I'm fine, sorry, I lost track of time!" I cried.

Edward sat up with me at that point and pulled me from around the waist until my back was flat against his chest.

"I'm not letting go of you," his whispered into my free ear.

My insides turned to mush as he kissed me right under my jawbone. I started feeling dizzy.

"What did you say?" Alice asked.

I was lost in my own world that I barely recollected what Alice said.

"Mhmm...that feels nice," I said drunkenly.

"Bella? Bella what are you doing? Who's there with you?" she demanded.

Edward grabbed the phone from my hand and spoke into it.

"Bella's busy at the moment, Alice. She'll be there soon," he stated and then snapped it shut and tossed it on the couch.

I turned to face him, shock plastered to my face. As soon as I captured his sparkling, dazzling eyes however, the shock disappeared and he took my face into his warm hands.

"Alice talks too much," he told me.

I nodded, still hypnotized by his eyes. He chuckled lightly and then pressed his lips to mine, starting another make-out round.

* * *

By the time I finally got the strentgh to return to reality and get up for work, I had a serious case of make-out hair. I brushed through it and tried to cover up the red sploches on my face with powder so I looked the tiniest bit presentable. I gave up trying to get the wrinkles from my shirt and changed it before re-emerging to the living room. Edward was leaning against the door, looking just like a Greek God. The messy make-out hair suited him well, as did the wrinkled shirt.

I sighed. "That is so no fair."

His smile vanished and was replaced with a frown.

"What's wrong?"

I made my over to him and pouted.

"Why do _you_ get to look fantastic after rolling around while I look like I was caught in a storm?"

He chuckled and pulled me into his arms.

"I'd have to disagree on that. You look stunning, the most beautiful creature alive," he whispered into my ear before gently kissing right below it. I looked up at him in amazement, that was what I always said about him.

Edward smiled and then started kissing me again until my phone went off. I think I might have even growled.

"Come on, we'd better go before Alice bites my head off," I said grumpily.

We left and started walking down the hallway. I reached over and grabbed his hand shyly, but Edward wasn't having that. Instead he snaked an arm around my waist until I was secured at his side.

"Do you honestly think I could stand to have you an arms distance away after what just happened?"

I laughed at his seriousness, but then mentally wondered if he really did love me as much as I did him. When we got to the main floor I veered off towards the entrance to the parking garage but he just dragged me through the lobby to the front.

"You really want to take separate cars?" he asked dumbfoundedly.

I quickly shook my head no.

We walked outside and the snow started swirling around us like a blizzard. My convulsed and Edward just pulled me tigher against his chest. Luckily his car was just parked across the street. He helped me into the passenger side of his shiney silver Volvo S60 R. As soon as he started the car, heat blasted from the vents right onto my face, defrosting my hands and melting the snowflakes in my hair and on my eyelashes. Then he peeled away and sped down the snowy road, driving with one hand and holding mine tightly in the other.

"If you don't slow down you'll get pulled over and then I'll be even later," I warned.

He tossed his gorgeous head back and laughed. "Oh please, I speed everywhere and I've never gotten a ticket."

I rolled my eyes for effect and before I knew it we were in the employee parking of the bar. He was out and to my door and pulled me against his body before I could have counted to ten. There was already a line stretching around the bar and down two blocks. As we neared the entrance, all the girls in front stared me down with glares and hate filled eyes. Either they were jealous I could just walk in and not have to wait in the cold or they secretly wanted the Greek God with his arms around me. I could only begin to guess which option it was.

* * *

When we finally made it inside, we stopped at the top of the stairs and looked below. Rosalie was bending over and running her hands through her long, blonde waves and Emmett was behind her, totally checking out her ass. Jasper was mixing a drink and texting at the same time while Alice was being Alice. As soon as she saw us she let out a loud squeal and then ran up the steps, pulling me into the biggest hug I'd ever recieved. Somehow she used enough force to push Edward out of the way, or maybe he jumped. I was too occupied trying to breathe as Alice spun me in cirlces.

"I can't believe it! I knew it! I've been telling you two all along!" she sang.

She yanked me by the arm down to the bar where she continued bouncing like a child. I heard Edward laughing behind me.

"I guess I can forget this one tardy Miss Swan," Emmett said, trying to be serious. He failed miserably and then surprised me by pulling me into a hug.

"I _am_ happy for you."

He let me go and gave Edward a noggie.

"And you too little brother!"

By that time my face was bright red from all the blushing. Then Rosalie turned around and smiled.

"Congratualtions," she said with no hint of acid in her voice. I didn't know how to react to this so I just nodded and tried to come up with something to say. "It's really nice, I mean you're a decent person...well I mean, you're pretty cool. You make him happy and that's just so rare these days."

At this point we were all giving her weird looks, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. She sighed and smiled.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm happy for you two."

She lightly hugged me and then Edward patted her back.

"Aw, Rosalie was nice for once," he teased, earning a punch in the arm from her.

* * *

**I know, this chapter was super short but I didn't have a lot of time so I thought I'd just get something out. It was a bit of a fluff chapter so I hope you liked it, I'm happy that I finally got to all the romantic parts. Now that it's Christmas break, finally, I won't be posting as much until after Christmas, but like I said, I'll try to fit in some stuff. Just leave me some happy and amazing reviews like for last chapter!**


	12. AN: I'll Be Back Soon!

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Ya, you all thought this was a new chapter...sorry! I've been so busy during the holidays visiting with friends and family and just not even being home! I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry, I've been itching to update but I've had NO TIME! Don't worry, I haven't forgotten you all and I promise some super spectacular chapters to come in the future. Thanks for being so patient! Have a very happy New Year!**

**-GoldenEyes4**

**I love you all for being so wonderful!**


	13. Apple Martinis

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**I'M UPDATING! YAY! I hope you all had the most fantastical Christmas and New Years EVER! I know I did and I am so excited to start writing again...a million ideas came to me over the break for this fan fiction and I hope to take it to a whole new level soon! Enjoy!!**

**Bella POV**

It had only been twenty minutes since opening and already this night was torture. I was stuck behind the bar while Edward was on the other side, smirking at me because I had to work and he didn't. Every time I would get a free moment to lean across the bar and hold his hand some party goer just had to order a drink. I finally gave up on rushing and concentrated on my job. I needed to stay busy because Edward told me that after work we would do something fun and I didn't know what his idea of _fun_ was exactly.

As the first hour ticked by Alice had convinced Edward to go dance with her. I watched from the sidelines, laughing every time Alice tried to make him "drop it like it's hot". Every so often he would look over at me with a pleading glance. I just shrugged and continued on.

After awhile Alice danced her way over to the bar, falling dramatically over it like she was exhausted.

"Wow, you would never know that you manage this place. It looks like your just the average club hopper," I joked.

"An apple martini, please," she breathed, trying to catch her breath.

I poured all the ingredients in the shaker and started to shake it, turning back to her.

"You ever had one before?" she asked.

I wrinkled my nose. "Too sweet and fruity for me, don't really want to try."

Alice wasn't having that. "Oh no, you are trying one. Come on, we'll toast!"

Knowing she would find some way to make me drink it, I poured the martini's into two glasses and we held them up.

"To you and Edward...may you two have a long and happy life together," she teased.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Geez, you make it sound like we just got married!"

The thought of marrying Edward elated me and my heart skipped a beat. Being with him forever...that was definitely my dream come true.

We clinked glasses and then Alice chugged half the thing. I hesitantly took a sip and decided that I really like it so we chugged the rest of them together.

* * *

Two more hours flew by and already Alice and I had consumed at least six or seven of those apple martinis each....or maybe it was eight? Who knew, by this point I was laughing uncontrollably and Alice was starting to break out into cheesy pop song karaoke. Everyone else at the bar was staring at Alice, probably trying to decide if she was a complete lunatic or just sexy for being so brave in her singing. I barely noticed.

That was when two arms wormed around my waist from behind. I giggled let my head fall back onto his chest.

"What are you trying to do to her Alice?" he said, letting a laugh slip through his mock anger.

Alice stopped singing and snapped her fingers which I found hilarious.

"Another apple martini m'lady!" she sang.

I tried to move to mix the drinks but Edward's arms restrained me.

"I think you two have had enough."

I shook my head. "Nooo...we need it!"

Edward laughed and pulled me tightly against his chest.

"I think you need a distraction....and possibly someone to take over for you tonight. We wouldn't want you to over-alcohol the drinks."

He kissed me under my jaw bone and led me around the bar to Alice.

"You two go have fun, I'll take over."

I stared at him unsure but Alice grabbed my arm and yanked me towards the dance floor. I had so much alcohol in me by now that dancing didn't particularly frighten me so I willingly followed. Right as we stepped onto the lighted disco dance floor Brittney Spears' _Womanizer_ started playing. All the girls threw their hands up and squealed and the competition to be the "sexiest" dancer started. All the guys left the floor immediately to get a better view. Rosalie came up behind us and started to grind against Alice. I backed off, my nerves starting to get to me.

Alice saw my apprehension and spun me around.

"Remember the other night? Pretend no one is here! Just let loose, you aren't a terrible dancer when you just let the music carry you! Come on, how often do you get drunk!"

She laughed and continued dancing. I took a deep breath and lifted my hands up and let the music carry me.

At first I tripped a lot, big surprise, but as Alice guided me and I remembered some of the moves she taught me it became easier. Alice kept grabbing my hips, trying to get me to shimmy up and down but I refused. Even drunk I knew that would make me look stupid. By the middle of the song Rosalie had danced off somewhere else, leaving Alice to try all her "hot" moves on _me. _During a spin I caught a glance of Edward. He seemed to be enjoying himself...very much so, actually. His face was covered with this goofy smile and once he saw I was looking he smirked and went back to serving drinks. Alice stole my attention again.

Right before the song was about to end someone let out a loud, shrill shriek. The girls didn't stop dancing but Alice and I did. We knew that scream. We ran to the edge of the floor just in time to see Rosalie punch some poor guy right in the nose.

"Slap my ass again and I'll aim lower!" she threatened.

The guy backed off right as Emmett came running over. Poor Emmett, he probably never got to beat up some guy for Rosalie; she always beat him to it.

"Rose? Baby, are you okay?"

She took a deep breath and regained her composure.

"Yeah I'm fine."

Emmett turned to the guy and grabbed his arm, pushing him towards the door.

"I believe the exit is over _there_," he hissed.

The guy rubbed a few trickles of blood off his nose and hurried out. It was a good thing that blood wasn't gushing or I just might have passed out.

* * *

The song was over and Alice was pulling me back to the bar.

"OH! We're exhausted Eddy! Two apple martinis please?"

He laughed at her pathetic attempt and firmly shook his head.

"No. You two are wasted as it is."

I tried sitting on the spinney bar stools but found it hard to get on. I finally had to lean over it and pull myself up, holding the counter for support. The chair spun slightly, making my giggles start again. I touched my foot to the floor and kicked off, spinning myself round and round. Who knew this could be so entertaining.

"But we _need_ them. Come one, what's one more? Bella and I are in celebration. Besides, we'll have our strong men to take care of us tonight anyway..."

Alice's feeble whining brought hesitation to Edward's face. I stopped spinning and nearly flew off the chair as I did. She pushed her bottom lip out and pouted.

"Please?"

He sighed and grabbed the shaker.

"Fine, but one more. After tonight it's coffee and coffee only for you two," he warned.

Alice started to bounce up an down and clap her hands.

"What are we doing after closing?" I inquired.

Edward pushed us our glasses and we drank up.

"We're going to get a bite at the diner down the street and just see what happens from there," he answered.

I put my glass down and let my mouth hang wide open. I could already feel myself slowly losing it.

"What? It will be like 3 o'clock!"

Edward just smiled that crooked smile of his, making my insides turn to mush.

"It's open 24/7. Usually big clubbers hang out there after."

My lips started to feel dry and I tried licking them. After doing that for a few minutes it made a puckering sound. This seemed fun to me so I kept clicking my tongue to the roof of my mouth, laughing every so often and earning stares from everyone within a three foot radius.

I didn't notice Edward come around the bar and pull me off the stool and against his chest. He buried his face into my hair while I kept on making the puckering noise.

"Having fun?" he teased.

I looked up into his eyes and smile contently.

"I am now."

He grinned from ear to ear and then kissed me gently.

"You're quite adorable when you're drunk," he whispered.

I rolled my eyes, but suddenly I started to realize just how drunk I was. But as soon as that thought came to mind the alcohol swept it away and more exciting thoughts raced into my head. When he kissed me again my heart started beating erratically until I could barely stand it.

"Hey! Stop molesting her right in front of me!" Alice shrieked, her words slurring together.

We separated and Edward went back to his post. Alice was about to drag me back to the dance floor when Jasper came to my rescue.

"How about we go wind it down a little bit? Emmett finally installed the cappuccino maker in the back. Alice smiled gratefully at him and followed him.

"Whatever you do, don't go back there until they come out," Edward warned me.

It took me a minute to understand what he was saying, but then it all clicked in my mind.

"OHHH...gotcha," I said, winking. I must winked like an idiot because Edward burst out laughing. I folded my arms and pouted, just making him laugh even more.

"I'm sorry Bella, but it looked like you were sucking on a lemon or something."

I tried to be fierce, but in my state that was impossible. So I gave up and started on the feat of making it back on the spinney chair.

* * *

**It's a little short, but I hope it made you laugh. I've always just had this vision of what Bella would be like drunk, how she would be very brave and confident...until she sobers up....keep checking back for new updates soon! Reviews are much appreciated!**


	14. Taking Chances

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Hi there everyone! Thank you all so much for the fabulous reviews! I was going to have this out this weekend but I wasn't home until late at night on Friday and Saturday plus I was sick during the week, but thanks for being mildly patient! I'm glad you all loved drunk Bella. I'll cut this short and just get down to it! Enjoy!**

**Bella POV**

As soon as the club closed, the crew got down to business to help clean. Everyone pitched in...except for Alice and I. After breaking three glasses Edward suggested we should just relax. Alice tried to get Jasper to mix us more apple martinis but even he denied her. She made due with dancing around the floor and singing karaoke.

I on the other hand stayed on my spinney chair, spinning until I felt like I was going to throw up and then I would rest my head on the bar until I felt fine and then do it all over again. Edward kept trying to get me to stop, saying he really didn't want to clean up my vomit, but I assured him no puke would come from my mouth.

When Edward emptied the cash register and followed Emmett and Jasper into the back room Alice sprinted across the room and into the bar, mixing us apple martinis as fast as she could. We clinked glasses and chugged them down and then drank the leftovers from the shaker. I started coughing and licked my dry lips.

"Either I'm much drunker than I think, or this is really strong," I said, my voice hoarse.

Alice quickly washed the cups and giggled.

"I figured this would be our last drink of the night so I put some extra ingredients in!" she chirped.

Under normal circumstances I would have scolded her, but the alcohol was rushing back to my brain and I just cheered for her.

"Yay Alice! You know what? You know what I wish?" I said.

Alice put the stuff away and leaned over the counter.

"What?"

I laughed suddenly and then hiccuped.

"I wish that I was as smart as you. You are...you are my best friend!"

We started another giggle fit that erupted a hiccup fit. When the boys came from the back door Alice screamed and jumped over the bar, miscalculating the distance and falling on her face. I laughed so hard that the chair spun and sent me flying right on top of her. We held onto each other for dear life and started laughing all over again.

"Remind me next time to hide the booze from them," I heard Emmett tease.

* * *

After the cleaning was finally done, the boys fetched us from the booth they designated us to sit in. Even that couldn't keep us out of trouble. Alice decided to show me the "ice" trick. Once she started pouring salt on top of my hand, I knew this wasn't going to end well but the martini in my system sent thrill to my mind and I urged her on. She dumped a lump sum of salt on my hand and then placed an ice cube on top. She put a napkin over that and then pressed down as hard as she could. At first I couldn't feel it so I just started laughing when it tingled.

"What does this do?" I practically yelled, letting my mouth hand open in wonder.

She giggled. "It burns your hand and leaves a scar!"

I, too, laughed at that.

"No way! Cool!"

After that, it wasn't cool. It started to burn and hurt like the worst hell I could think of while being impaired. My hand started shaking and tears built up in my eyes.

"OH MY GOD! That hurts! Stop Alice!"

Alice didn't seem to care and I was way to drunk to realize I could just pull my hand away.

I started screaming until suddenly my hand was away from the ice. I stared at my hand, half wondering how it got away and half trying to figure out why it was still burning.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

I looked up to see Edward sitting beside me, gently holding my hand in his. Across from me I could hear Alice giggling and Jasper trying to calm her down.

"I can't believe you actually did the ice trick to her," Jasper snickered.

My hand looked all soggy and had a nasty looking scar building up. The tears over flowed my eyes as the burning slowly halted. Edward wiped the excess salt off my hand and kissed it better.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

I couldn't even bare to look at my hand. I couldn't believe I actually fell for that. While I sulked and cried Edward pulled out a bandage and placed it over. Then he took my face in his hands and gently wiped my tears away with his thumbs.

"It's okay Bella, the scar will go away in a few weeks. Alice did it to me once, I know how you feel," he sympathized.

I sniffled a little. "She did?"

He chuckled. "Yep, I was roaring drunk too. My scar was worse, there's still a little trace of it."

"Come on my little drunk ones, let's blow this popstand!" Rosalie called out.

* * *

We all decided to walk to the diner since it was down the street; we'd come back for the cars after.

At the time I was totally fine with it...that is until I realized how cold it was. Even though I had on a wool peacoat and a hat and gloves and a scarf, I was still shivering, which was fine because Edward would just pull me even closer. People weren't lying when they said winter in Seattle was hell.

The snow started to fall lightly and Alice broke away from Jasper's embrace. She skipped ahead of us and started twirling around, trying to catch snowflakes and dance at the same time. I could hear Jasper laughing from behind me.

"Come on Bella! This is so much fun!"

I watched her jump around like a child and the adrenaline kicked in again. I let go of Edward and ran ahead with Alice. Even though it was 3 in the morning there were still a bunch of people walking around...and they were all staring at us, I think a few even snapped some pictures and laughed.

Not only was Alice right about the fun thing, but it got me warm. By the time we got to the diner I was sweating with all my clothes on. We found a booth and tore our coats off before collapsing in. The rest of them piled in after us, pretending to not know us.

We ordered heaps of food, Alice and I especially, and set it all in the middle so we could all share. Apparently this was a tradition. I guess the Cullen's really did share everything.

* * *

After eating all the food, Alice made a discovery that would most likely create teasing until the end of time. She had just slurped her milkshake all the way down when suddenly a song started playing on the jukebox.

"OH MY GOD!" she yelled.

It was so loud that everyone in the whole diner turned to look at her. Alice scrambled across everyone's lap and ran to the juke, laying her face across it.

"What is it?" I whispered, feeling my head getting suddenly very heavy.

Then I recognized the song. It was _Taking Chances_ by _Celine Dion_.

"Alice is like...in love with this song," Rosalie informed me.

I sat up straight when Alice turned around and starting to shimmy her body very seductively up and down the juke.

"Well, it is a good song. I really like it," I added, trying to defend poor Alice.

When it hit the chorus Alice moved away from the jukebox and started doing some weird interpretive dance. It looked like she was choking. Edward suddenly got out of the booth and pulled me with him.

"Care to dance?" He asked.

I looked around as everyone stared.

"But we're in a diner...and I all I want to do is sleep!" I protested. I felt like any second my legs would give out and I'd being snoring on the ground. Edward wasn't having that. He pulled me tightly against his chest and swayed with the music.

When the chorus played again Edward lowered his face so that I could feel his hot breath on my ear. Then he started to quietly sing the lyrics to me.

"_What do you say to taking chances,  
What do you say to jumping off the edge?  
Never knowing if there's solid ground below  
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,  
What do you say,  
What do you say?"_

He continued singing to me until the song ended and by then I was in tears, burying my face into his chest. I had never felt this way in my whole life. I had never felt so loved and adored before.

"Bella? What is it?" he whispered, alarmed by my tears.

I looked up into his eyes and tried to hold the waterfall of tears back.

"Nothing, I just...." I had to pause and looked around. Almost everyone in the whole diner was up and dancing. Someone had started the song over again. I turned back to my angel.

"I love you more than you'll ever know. I've never ever felt like this and I keep finding these new feelings everytime I'm with you and I don't ever want them to stop."

Edward's heart started to beat as fast as mine. His eyes became so sincere and loving that it hurt to keep looking, almost as if I were afraid they would stop if I turned away.

"Then I'll never stop loving you," he vowed.

Something in his voice...his eyes...his touch made me realize that he was serious...and for the first time in a long time, I believed those words. Ignoring what my brain was telling me-that promises like that were made and broken all the time-I listened to my heart.

My heart told me that Edward was the real deal. It didn't matter this was our first offical night together or that we might not be together tomorrow. I was in too deep. I came to Seattle not looking for love, but I somehow it ended up finding me.

I knew at that moment that I was grateful for each and every lie I've said to Cullens. I was happy that I took the job and something I never thought I'd think, that I was glad Andrew pushed me into this. Because for each guilty thought I've had about lying to them, each time I've thought about quitting, I was truly thankful to be on this secret job. Because it brought me to Edward. I would have never met him if it weren't for my undercover story.

I had never believed in fate until that moment.

* * *

**So...what did you think? Does that last couple of paragraphs make any of you think differently of Bella's job? Don't freak out, I'm not trying to change your mindset. I had no idea that stuff was going to come out but it just came out when I was typing, I didn't even have to think about it. But it does make sense. And that whole ice and salt thing hurts sooo bad. I've had it done once to me and now whenever someone makes me do something gross and I do the ice trick to them...it's a good dare. :) Enjoy and please review!!**


	15. Hung Over

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Wow...that is all I have to say. The reviews for chapter 14 were SPECTACULAR! Most everyone had some kind of feedback or long comment...which long reviews are my favorite! I really do have some pretty amazing fans! You should all pat yourselves on the back right now, or maybe just treat yourself and go see Twilight before it leaves the theaters. I think I like that reward the best. Personally I would go to Hot Topic and buy some Edward shimmer powder and sprinkle it on myself. :) Or you could read this next installment! **

**To cut it short, thanks for being such amazing reviewers! I love you alllllllll!**

**Now....on with the story....**

**Bella POV**

We ended up leaving the diner when dawn was breaking across the sky. The clouds had dispersed and the soft pink rays flooded in from the east, bringing a sort of happiness over Seattle. It was a rare day when the sun shone like that in the winter time. Edward helped me into the car since I was still drunkenly emotional from that song. After dancing to it eight times in a row Alice broke down on the floor crying because she had never heard something something so beautiful in her whole life.

When we got back to my apartment Edward and I lingered in the open doorway as he slowly kissed me goodbye, drawing out the process, not like I was complaining or anything.

"You better get some rest," he advised.

I opened my eyes a little wider and shook my head.

"No! You can't leave, please stay with me!" I begged, clutching onto the collar of his coat. He chuckled and walked me inside, shutting the door after him.

"I wasn't planning on leaving. Someone obviously needs to be here and take care of you until you recover," he teased.

I pouted and then tore my coat off and fell onto the couch.

"I'm not that tired," I said matter-of-factly.

"Is that so?" Edward challenged, standing before me.

I got on my knees and pulled him down on the couch, pushing him until I was sitting on top of him, smashing my lips into his. I'd show him.

"Told you I wasn't tired," I whispered, my breath ragged.

He seemed to agree because he wouldn't let me talk anymore. His lips found mine again like a magnet.

I don't know how long it had been but we had to come up for air. I sat up straight and stretched. Edward's hands were firmly on my hips, probably because if they weren't I would have fallen over. I could feel the adrenaline rising up in me again, telling me that being sober was far from near. Feeling myself overwhelming with passion and ripped off my sweater and started to undo the buttons on my blouse when Edward's steady hands caught mine.

"Bella? What are you doing?"

I ignored the fact that he had and iron grip on me and tried to figure out why I couldn't move my hands.

"Well that's not good..."I muttered.

He sighed. "Bella?"

I gave up and sat there, pouting like a child.

"I can't move my hands," I complained.

He was trying so hard to not start laughing, that much I could tell.

"That's because I'm holding them, love. We're not doing _that_ right now. Especially in your condition," he told me.

My face flushed and the blood boiled under my skin.

"Yes we are! Give me one good reason why not!" I demanded.

Edward sat up and started to button my shirt back up for me.

"Because you're completely wasted and you wouldn't even remember it in the morning."

My eyes rolled to the back of my head and the hyperness I felt earlier faded.

"I said a good one..."my words slurred together so I couldn't even understand them. Edward pulled me into his lap and kissed my hair.

"Just get some sleep," he murmured.

I was about to object but the drowsiness overcame me, pulling me under.

**Edward POV**

It was only minutes before I was sure my angel was sleeping. Her breathing evened out and she didn't move when I gently shook her. That was when it hit me. I was sitting her, holding the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen in my arms. She was finally _mine_. I didn't move and instead sat there and enjoyed the moment. She was so warm and light, I couldn't imagine releasing her. But she needed to rest so I reluctantly got up and carried her into her bedroom and lay her down on her bed. I grabbed her pajamas off the floor and carefully dressed her in them, trying to be as gallant as possible. She stirred and then unconsciously crawled under the covers, mumbling something unintelligible.

"Where are you going?" she murmered after.

I turned from the bathroom doorway. How did she wake up?

I rushed to her side and grabbed her hand, kissing it.

"I'll be right back."

"No...stay with me," she cried.

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Just let me use the bathroom, love."

"And tell Alice no more ice!"

I looked up, confused.

"Tell Alice wha-"

I stopped when I saw her eyes peacefully closed, her breathing still even. She wasn't even awake! Bella had been sleep talking! Feeling like an idiot I used the bathroom and stripped down to my boxer-briefs**(boxer-briefs are so much more mature and Edward like than boxers...and hotter)** and the t-shirt I had worn under my button down and then slipped into the bed next to her. This was the best night I'd had in a very long time.

When I woke up Bella was curled in a ball to the very edge of her bed, still deeply sleeping. I sat up and glanced at the clock which read 12:53. Yawning and stretching my arms, I got out of bed and padded into the kitchen to make some coffee. I gazed out the window and the sun was shining brightly, nearly blinding me. This was going to be a good day, I could tell. It was Sunday, no work and no bar. Just me and Bella.

I heard a crash from the bedroom and Bella's voice soon after.

"Ugh, dammit!"she hissed.

I hurried back to the room just to see Bella trip over her own feet and fall into my arms.

**Bella POV**

When I woke up in the morning...or afternoon I guess...I was greeted with a throbbing headache. Oh great. This was by far the worst hang over I'd ever had...not that I'd had many. I smiled when I saw two Tylenol and a glass of water waiting for me on my nightstand, I took them greedily.

When I felt that I was stable and able to stand up I placed my feet on the ground and lifted myself. Not a good idea. The room spun and I got my foot tangled in the sheets lying on the ground and fell right on my ass. Ouch.

"Ugh, dammit!" I cursed, rubbing the now sore spot on my rear. I pulled myself up and started heading for the door when Edward whirled in and I tripped, falling right into his waiting arms.

"You okay?" he asked, kissing my forehead.

I took in a whiff of the brewing coffee and felt some relief and hope.

"Not really."

Edward bent down and scooped me up in his arms, carrying me into the living room.

"Put me down! I am perfectly capable of walking," I protested, sticking my tongue out when he dropped me on the couch. My loud voice made my head throb, bad move.

Edward laughed and went back into the kitchen to pour the coffee. My phone started ringing so I debated on throwing a pillow at it but decided against it. I growled and picked it up.

"Uh...yes?" I moaned, rubbing my head.

"Why, hello hello Bella. How's the story coming? I haven't heard from you in like a week," Andrew's annoying voice rang. My brain screamed in protest.

"Can we talk later? I've got a hangover the size of Texas," I admitted, noticing Edward watching me.

Andrew laughed at me. Figures. "Nice, I see the Edward thing worked out well then. Make sure you include your drunken night in your next write up. I want it tomorrow, come in around 2 sharp."

All the details of my real life suddenly flooded back in me. I was living a double life here. It was like the Bella with Edward was the dream Bella, the one I wanted to be. The real Bella was still a journalist who was making incredible money and writing, two things she had always wanted to do. It seemed like I could never escape that Bella, even for the night. It was always there to haunt me in the morning.

"Alright, talk to you later."

I clicked the off button and tossed the phone on the floor. Edward decided to enter and handed me my coffee. I was glad he ddn't ask who it was. He knew if I wanted him to know I would tell him...and I did not want him to know.

I sipped the heaven-in-a-cup and leaned against Edward, groaning as my head started to throb again.

"I am never having that much to drink again..._ever,"_ I vowed.

Edward just laughed at me. "I wouldn't be so sure, Alice is pretty convincing. She jumped over a counter to hide the fact she made more drinks. I'd be willing to be she'll get you drunk again."

I wrinkled my nose and sighed. "She better not. I'm sure that I made a complete fool of myself."

"On the contrary, you were quite adorable," Edward contered.

I looked up into his eyes to find that he was not kidding. "Really?" He just smiled and kissed my nose. "Really."

I sighed in contentment and finished my coffee quickly. "So, what are the plans for today?"

"Hmmm..."Edward thought while pressing his face into my hair and kissing it. "How about a late lunch? Can you handle that?"

I thought seriously about this for a bit. Would people be able to tell that I was extremely hung over? Probably. Did I care? No.

"I'm thinking I can. Just let me shower first, get all the hang over off me."

I got up slowly and the throbbing increased. There's just some things you can't escape. I realized the double meaning to that and immediately pushed it away. I was going to be happy Bella today.

* * *

Lunch was exceptional. Edward took me to the small diner Eclipse like Alice had. We were greeted by a very inviting Esme.

"Oh Edward dear! It's been way too long!" She gushed, hugging him for nearly five minutes.

"I know, I'm sorry Esme. I've been so busy lately," he apologized.

She let go and kept her hands on his face in a very motherly manner.

"Just don't work yourself too hard," she warned loosely. Even though she was smiling her warning was real. I guessed that she knew all about when he was in the hospital. She then turned her attention to me, still grinning.

"I'm so glad that he's found someone so amazing. Alice has been calling me every night with the updates."

Blush crept into my cheeks making Esme squeal with delight.

"Oh! You two are so cute!"

Edward tightened his arms around me with pride.

"Is Carlisle here today?" he asked, looking around.

Esme shook her head. "Nope, he's at the hospital, working a double shift today."

Edward nodded and then we sat down to eat.

* * *

**Reviews rock! I hope you've been loving all the little fluffy moments! Next chapter sparks some serious stuff so soak it up!!**


	16. A column

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**As usual to start us off today...thanks for the most spectacular reviews you all!! You just all warm my hearts sooooooo much!**

**I would also like to throw out to any who are nervous about Bellas 'double life', I plan this story to be pretty long, much longer than babysitting bella and that was a pretty long one. The climax of the story if you will won't happen for a long time, so I don't want you all to stress out and pulling your hair. Just relax and enjoy the pivotal plots because I still have a bunch more plot lines to toss in there.**

**Alright, I think I've said everything I wanted to...**

**Oh, and sorry for the wait! I just am never home these days to write! Let's just say I can't wait until summer break...but then that means no school so I'll still never be home...hmmm...**

**I shall continue right............NOW!**

**Bella POV**

That night I sat cuddled with blankets on my couch watching movies. Edward dropped me off and we parted, after an hour kissing each other goodbye I might add. He had to go back to work in the morning so I let him go and submitted myself to a lonely night.

Of course it didn't turn out to be so lonely. I never really minded being alone, sometimes I actually enjoyed it more than company. But ever since I moved here I found myself actually wanting people here with me, especially Edward. I let out a large yawn as my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi! Bella! It's Alice!" she shouted in my ear.

I shifted my position and paused my movie.

"Alice, hi. What are you up to?" I asked, picking a piece of lint from my sweater.

"Not too much. Are you busy tomorrow? I was thinking you, me, and Rosalie could get lunch, say around 11ish?"

I had to go into work at 2 tomorrow, 11 sounded perfect. But with Rosalie? I will admit that in these past weeks she's grown to be a lot nicer, but I could still tell she wasn't exactly my biggest fan.

"Ya, sure. That sounds great!"

I could tell that Alice was bouncing already from the way her voice sounded breathy. "Great! I'll come pick you up tomorrow, 11 sharp."

She said a quick goodbye and hung up.

* * *

At 11 o'clock sharp, my doorbell rang. I was just slipping on my red ballet flats and running to the door, opening it to see a very cheery Alice smiling at me.

"Cute outfit!" was the first thing she said, examining my dark skinny jeans and red sheer blouse with ruffles at the top. She walked in like she owned the place and unbuttoned her yellow coat, revealing her ensemble for the day: black pencil skirt and long-sleeved white button down. She wore black heels with white toes. Very professional I noted.

"So, where's Rosalie?" I asked, making sure she wasn't in the hall. Alice rolled her eyes. "I called this morning and she sounded like hell in a fire. She was all vomity. Apparently she's sick. Oh well, more fun for us."

Alice looked around once more before grabbing my hand and pulling me out. I just barely had time to grab my coat and purse before my door clicked shut.

We ended up at a small restaurant right in the middle of city. That meant we sat in traffic for thirty minutes just to get there. That also meant I would most likely be late getting to work after. Yay.

"So...you and Edward," Alice said, raising one eyebrow.

I could practically feel the blush heating my face. "Um...ya...me and Edward."

She shot me a sour look. "You know what I mean! Has anything serious happened yet?"

I raised my eyebrow," What do you expect me to say to that? I'm not just going to just sleep with him! We've been dating two days!"

Alice just shrugged, "So? I slept with Jasper on the first date...Rosalie did with Emmett the day she met him."

I picked at me roll, tossing little pieces aside, trying to come up with a response.

"What do you want me to say to that? I'm not that kind of person. I like to wait and take things slow...make sure he's the one I would want it to happen with."

I nervously glanced up, waiting for her pursing lips. She surprised me by grinning.

"What?"

"You are perfect for Edward! That was exactly the answer I wanted! OH!" she gushed, "you two are so right together!"

I glared and tossed the rest of my roll at her.

* * *

After lunch I took a taxi down to the paper. I arrived just a few minutes after two. Andrew was in his office hitting golf balls into a long, clear glass.

"You're late," he murmured, not even looking up.

"Sorry, traffic." I said, as if that made up for it.

Andrew hit the ball too hard and the glass shattered.

"Oh dammit!" he hissed.

I let Andrew pick up the shards of glass and then he sat down, facing me.

"So, do you have your write up?"

I pulled out the sheet of paper-or sheets, it was five pages this time- and he took it, perusing it quickly.

"Looks good. Especially that you're with Edward now."

I blushed again.

"Andrew....when this comes out-"

He interupted me with a 'vision'.

"-it will be a hit!" he finished for me.

I sighed and tried again.

"No, I mean when it comes out...what if they hate me? I mean, I love them. What will happen to _me_?"

He looked away from the paper and studied me carefully.

"Oh God...you really do love them," he finally concluded.

I narrowed my eyebrows. He grinned even wider.

"This is just too good! This story is real! God, I just thought you were pretending, but you actually _love _them, even that bitchy blonde girl!"

I looked down at me feet, tapping the heels of my shoes together, praying I was anywhere else but here. Andrew sensed my distress.

"Bella, I could give this assignment to a thousand other writers. People have been begging me for this job," he said.

"Then why did you pick me?"

Andrew was, for the second time ever, being sincere. "Because I knew you would get into it, actually find your place with them. You've got potential to be the best writer at this paper since myself when I was in your spot and now look at me! Your writing and inspiring and great and just relateable. I picked you for a reason. Now, don't screw this up!"

And then with those last words his sincerity was over and the warning was real.

"I won't. This article has given me so much already, it deserves to be good...I will make this the article of my life," I vowed.

Andrew smiled, obviously pleased. "You know Bella, you're work is really pretty good. It's almost like you're better at writing stories and real things than reporting. Maybe after this you could get your own column."

I honestly thought my jaw would fall to the ground. New people _never, ever_ got their own columns. I'd known people that worked for years before even being considered to get a column. Only the very best writers got them.

"A-are you serious?" I sputtered, trying to calm down my racing heart.

Andrew shrugged. "Just show me how bad you want it. Consider this article your application."

He dismissed me then. I walked out with shakey, weak knees. The whole office blurred. Everything was so surreal.

My very own column. It was what I always wanted, what I'd been working for since junior year of high school. Suddenly everything shifted. This article _had_ to be perfect. Every detail mattered.

I went home that night and wrote three pages, going over them again and again, tweaking where I felt necessary. Andrew told me once that the article would come out in a few months, and it would be divided. A little section each week, keeping the readers coming. That meant I pretty much had no limits in length. So I kept writing.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Edward and I got together. Those two weeks had been wonderful, he stayed over on weekends and late on weekdays. Since the infamous 'Bella and Alice Go Drunk' night, as they decided to call it, I had not drunken or begged Edward to sleep with me. Every time I thought about that I still blushed.

Of course that also meant there was just one week until Christmas. Apparently to the Cullen family every major holiday was big. Rosalie and Alice had Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner planned out. Christmas Eve would be a huge party at the bar, exclusively for friends and family only. Then Christmas would just be us, over at Rosalie and Emmett's place. I offered time and time again to help cook, but Alice refused. So I gave up and focused on finding the perfect gift for everyone. And so far I'd been doing great with that.

For Emmett I got him this bar thing. It was a stand where you could put five different alcohols upside down and then when you pressed a button to the right bottle it would pour out. I checked with Rosalie and she assured me that he would be nuts over the thing.

Rosalie I went with Alice. She helped me pick out mirror, brush and comb set. They were all silver and studded with swarovski crystal and I had her name engraved on them. They fit all nicely in a matching silver box which too had her name.

Alice was the easiest. I found this long, hot pink wool coat in a vintage store. There were three buttons in the middle and it was fitted. The inside was the softest pink silk I'd ever found. The lady told me it was from some elite lady in the 40's and that any fashion guru would go crazy for it. I bought it on the spot.

Jasper was harder. Lately we'd been talking more, mostly about books and old Hollywood cinema. But other than that he was still a mystery to me. Alice told me it was hard to go wrong with him, but I wasn't sure. I was at an old bookstore when I remember he was fascinated with the Civil War. I found a set of books depicting the Civil War. They even had old Newspaper clippings from then.

But, with my luck that meant the one gift that counted I couldn't find. I'd searched everywhere and I still didn't have a gift for Edward. I knew to follow my heart and that it would just come to me. It hadn't come to me and I only had a few days left. I knew that I was over thinking it, but I couldn't help it. I wanted something to show Edward how much I loved him and how much he meant to me, but it was too hard. When I wasn't writing or spending time with Edward or at work, I was visiting small shops in the city I'd never been too. I was hoping I would stumble on something phenomenal. No such luck.

* * *

**Wow, I didn't end with a cliffhanger! How surprising! HAHA! Sorry this took so long, just been caught up in so many things. Hope you enjoy it!**


	17. Bodies Aren't Gifts

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Thank You Thank You Thank You For All the FREAKIN AMAZING AND SPECTACULAR Reviews! You Are The BEST Fans In The World! LA LA LA LA LA! (Yes, that is a song and yes, I did write it. :) ) **

**Okay, to start us off...yes I know I said Alice wore a skirt. Yes I know Seattle is freakin cold and I do know because I live in a place where there are actually all four seasons, really hot summers-mild autumns-cold winters-lovely springs. I know about the cold and myself being a fashion guru like Alice...I wear skirts and dresses all the time in the winter. Alice could have been wearing tights...even though I apologize for not saying so...but thanks for bringing that up.**

**Also thanks for mentioning how Andrew finally realizes Bella's predicament. That comes in handy later, wink wink.**

**And I have finally figured out the exact ending...I did have one when I first started writing this but then the other day it just came to me..the perfect ending...which also means there's going to be a few more pivotal plot points tossed in...which I REALLY hope you all enjoy!**

**Now that my author's note is longer than the actual story, my writing shall commence! Enjoy!!**

**Bella POV**

The day had finally come.

It was the day before Christmas Eve...two days until Christmas. Just two days until I had to have the perfect gift for Edward. What did I have? Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Zero.

And of course that meant Edward already had my gift and happily bragged about how wonderful it was to me all the time.

Sitting in my agony and writing a list on Alice's couch, the night before came to mind. It was Saturday which meant Edward spent the night with me.

* * *

I was sitting on the couch, writing up my next page for the article. I was sitting horizontal with my feet stretched on on Edward's lap. He was busy working on his laptop as well. I figured that I would be safe from his wandering eyes to write.

I had just gotten the page almost done, gushing about the days activites with Edward when I noticed him watching me. I glaced up and blushed.

"What?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. Edward just smiled. "You look so engrossed, so passionate. It's kind of sexy."

I glared at him playfully before quickly saving the page, knowing where this was going.

"Can I read?" he asked, pouting his lip.

Just hearing him ask that made my heart drop. My head shook faster than the speed of light.

"NO! Absolutely not."

Then he got a look on his face. The same look he always gave me when he pounced on me and tossed me onto my bed. That untamed lion look. He moved my feet and started crawling over. I held my laptop tightly against my chest, afraid that he really might get it.

"Please?" he asked again, this time with an edge.

"Touch my laptop and you'll regret it," I warned him, shrinking into the corner of the couch.

It took him seconds to be hovering over me, gently removing the laptop from my sweaty palms and setting it on the coffee table. I felt my body relax as he slowly lowered himself on top of me, letting ever line and curve mold against mine. My breathing accelerated and my heart was racing.

"Are you sure I can't read it?" Edward whispered, pressing his lips to my ear. Shivers shot down my spine as I tried to not just grab him and ruin the moment.

"N-no..."

I could barely make out what I just said, but he did. So this time he very slowly ran his lips down my ear and down my neck, stopping right at my collarbone. At first it was just butterfly kisses and then he slowly started kissing me harder, probably leaving a hickey. In fact when I checked later he did.

"Please Bella?"

I let out a whimper as he moved up to my face, kissing each eyelid before moving to my lips. By that point I couldn't control myself. I wound my arms tightly around his neck, pulling him closer. My fingers ran through his hair, grabbing on tightly to it. I felt his warm hands slip under my shirt and run up my back.

At least it was a distraction from his trying to read my article...

* * *

It was Alice's sharp voice that brought me back to reality.

"BELLA! God, are you deaf?" she shouted.

I looked up at her. She was holding up two dresses. One was red. It was strapless except for a tiny strap that went from her left shoulder across her chest and hooked in the back on the right. It was silk with a sheer fabric on top, very elegant and sexy. The other was black. It was a halter with the straps many different strings that criss-crossed on the back and then hooked at the bottom.

"Which one should I wear for the party tomorrow?"

This choice was easy for me, but hard for her.

"The red, more Christmasy," I said quickly.

She nodded, obviously agreeing.

"So, have you gotten that wonderful present yet?" she asked, putting the dresses away and plopping on the couch next to me.

That set me even more back to reality.

"Ugh, of course not. Why would I be that lucky?"

Alice's eyes were sparkling. Uh oh.

"Oh! I've got the perfect gift!" she announced.

I didn't even have to ask to know what she wanted me to give him.

"No, I am not giving him _that_. My body does not count," I protested.

She pouted at me. "You're body _is_ a gift though, didn't you pay attention to all those 'give it to the right person' talks in high school?"

"So?"

Alice rolled her eyes.

"So...I'm saying that it _could_ count. Get all sexied up, light some candles..mhmmm..?"

I tossed a pillow at her head (which she gracefully dodged) and kept my answer firm.

"No. I told you, we're not ready to take it there yet. At least I'm not, I don't know about him."

Alice surrendered and got up and headed to her wet bar.

"Want a drink? A cosmo? That sounds good."

She started mixing it even though I didn't agree. But that's how it was with us. She always assumed I wanted something...and most of the time she was right. She did all the work while I could sit back and enjoy, and I kind of liked that. Our friendship was effortless and easy. Usually making friends was hard for me, I would get bored of them or they just wouldn't understand me. I'd never felt like I was on the same page with everyone...that is until I came here.

* * *

That night as I was walking home, half thinking about Edward and half going over a paragraph I'd just written that morning, I passed a store that I always passed. It was an old jewlery shop, specializing in fine golds and silvers. I never went in just because I knew I probably couldn't afford much in it. It wasn't until I sat something in the window that I stopped. I peered in closely and saw a bunch of 'hot Christmas gifts'. There were a few gorgeous lockets and bracelets, but there was one that stood out. It was a bracelet for a man, silver with a rough overtone. It was heavy chain except for the middle which was a small placque. You were supposed to engrave someone's name on it. I'd seen these before, it was a true romantic gift.

I knew what I was getting him.

I rushed to the door to find they closed in ten minutes. Score. I rushed in and went over to the old man at the front desk.

"Why hello there miss. Awfully cold out, huh?" he said in a hoarse British accent.

"Uhm ya. I would like to get that placque bracelet in front please, and possibly have it engraved by tomorrow?"

He squinted and then retrieved the bracelet for me.

"Tomorrow? I've got a lot of orders, I don't know if it can be done..."

"Please!" I cried, on the verge of tears. He gave me the once over, obviously wondering if I was physco or not.

"Well....alright, just because I'm assuming you've just found the perfect gift, right?"

He smiled a crooked smile that reminded me of Edward. My heart about melted.

"Yes! How did you know?"

He shrugged, "Just see this a lot this time of year. Why two weeks ago had a nice young fella in here saying he found that perfect gift too, and another young man this morning. You get used to it."

I smiled and filled out the paperwork quickly.

On the top it would say his full name: _Edward Anthony Mason Cullen._

He told me once that Mason was his mother's name and she kept it so he would have apart of her and his father forever.

On the back it would say: _Love You Forever, Bella_

I thanked the old man at least two more times before leaving, satisfaction glowing on my face.

* * *

When I got home I was itching to tweak that one paragragh that I'd been thinking about. I'd just thought of the perfect quote to put in it. I turned the key and then opened it, deciding to go straight to writing.

When I flipped the light switch I jumped when I sat Edward waiting for me on the couch, drinking a glass of wine. Even though it had been a week since I gave him a key, he still scared me each time.

"Oh! Geez, you scared me yet again!" I cried, pressing my palm to my heart.

He chuckled and made his way over to me.

"Sorry, love. It's just too hard to resist."

He helped me take my coat and shoes off before picking me up and dropping me on the couch. He went directly to my neck and then started to nibble on my ear. As usual I could barely breathe, but just enough to remember that I could now brag about my present.

"Guess what?" I said, panting hard as he pressed his lips to mine.

"Mhhmmmm?"

I wiggled from his grasp just to make the brag that more fun. He frowned and tried to tackle me again but I jumped off the couch.

"I just found you're gift today...and it's perfect!"

Edward raised his eyebrow, clearly interested.

"Oh?"

He started towards me, but I just backed up.

"Yep. You're going to love it."

He just smiled and continued forward.

"Might I get a hint?" he asked, smiling my favorite crooked smile.

"Nope. Sorry."

"Well then...."

And then he chased me around the living room until he caught me in his strong arms. Edward picked me up and carried me into the bedroom to continue what we had just started.

* * *

**What is this? TWO no cliffys in a row? I must be going insane...or just building up to two new very PIVOTAL plot lines(happening after Christmas of course). I hope you enjoyed this chapter...especially since I wrote it so fast. :)**


	18. Deck the Halls

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Alright, to start us off there is a picture of the bracelet Bella gives Edward in my profile, just click on the link. If anyone knows how to make the link so it's not the actual address but it just says "Bracelet Bella Gives Edward" and you can click on that to get to the link, could you please tell me? I forgot how to do it!**

**And also, the reviews were amazing!!!! Christmas will be filled with many laughs...hopefully, I am taking some of my experiences from a Christmas party I went to this year and tossing them in, just because I could see them happening in the Twilight world. I know you are all excited for the new plot lines...and I'm pretty sure you won't see them coming! I'm way excited.**

**I think that note is long enough now, so enjoy!!**

**Bella POV**

When I woke up, I had that feeling where I was being watched. I didn't want to open my eyes, still wanting to sleep, but I also wanted to get over the nagging feeling that I wasn't alone. After fighting the internal battle in my mind, I slowly opened one eye. I saw a blurry figure next to me. They were staring straight at me. Not even thinking, I jumped up letting out a scream.

"Bella?"

When I heard the voice I blinked until I saw a very alarmed looking Edward. Either I'm crazy or Edward slept over last night.

"Edward? What? I thought you were staying at your place last night!"

I smiled and pulled me back down on the bed.

"I know, but I missed you so I came over, but it seemed that you were already sleeping so I just slipped in," he answered.

It was a good thing Emmett was here because he would have said 'that's what he said!'

I thought it was sweet so I snuggled even closer against his chest.

"I love you."

His lips pressed to me head and even though we stayed silent, I knew he loved me too.

But of course I just had to ruin the moment by jumping up and running into my closet.

"Bella?"

I ignored him and I changed so fast that when I emerged Edward was just getting out of bed.

"What's with the rush?"

I slipped into my boots and grabbed my coat.

"It's Christmas Eve!" I cried.

He smiled and sat on the bed.

"All the more reason to come back to bed with me," he whispered, obviously trying to tempt me.

I bit my lip, taking turns staring at the front door and his inviting smile.

"I can't, I have stuff to do."

I went to his side and kissed his cheek.

"I'll be back soon!" I called over my shoulder, running out the door.

* * *

When I got outside the sun was shining yet there were flakes of snow falling all around me. I didn't even bother to put my hood up. Instead I walked the three blocks to the shop, smiling the whole way. This was going to be the best Christmas ever, that much I was sure of.

I made it inside right when the store opened. The old man smiled at me and pulled a small black box from under the counter.

"I stayed an extra hour just for this. I hope you like it," he said.

I took the lid off and nearly gasped. It was even more perfect than I imagined.

"Thanks, this is just what I wanted," I breathed.

"Good, that's real nice to hear. Do you want it gift wrapped?" he asked.

I nodded quickly and he took it into the back room. When he came out it looked like it was wrapped by a proffessional. It truly was perfect.

"Thanks a lot Sir, for everything."

He smiled and rang me up.

And I then I took off outside. The streets were already filling up fast with last minute shoppers even though it was only 9 in the morning. I got back to my apartment in record time. I heard the shower going so I quickly hid Edward's present before he got out.

After I started the coffee and scrambled some eggs for us.

"Mhm, what are you making?" Edward whispered behind me.

I turned around with a smile and then gasped. He stood a few feet back, only with a towel wrapped around his waist. His perfect chest was exposed and his wild hair was dripping from the shower. I had to grab the counter for support. What was he trying to _do_ to me!"

"Bella? Are you alright?" he asked, concerned that I probably wasn't breathing.

I sucked in some air as he pulled me against his moist body. My knees started to shake.

"Uhm...f-f-fine," I managed to get out.

Not needing anymore hints, Edward chuckled and went back into the room to change. I took a few deep breaths and then used all my energy trying not to burn the eggs.

* * *

At exactly 6 o'clock we had all our presents and overnight clothes packed in our arms and were knocking on Alice's door. It opened wide and I could smell cinnamon and vanilla and hear soft Christmas music in the background.

"Wow, Alice, it smells so amazing in here!" I gushed, walking inside. The whole apartment was decorated from head to toe with Christmas. Better Homes and Garden magazine would be proud.

Alice took our gifts and put them under the tree and stuffed our other bags in the guest room.

"Bella, that dress is gorgeous!" Alice cried.

I smiled with satisfaction, knowing she would approve. It was a creme colored silk dress that went just above my knees. The sleeves were long and a black band ran right under my chest. I paired it with black tights and flats. I even took the time to curl my hair and arrange it on top of my head with a creme headband. **(picture in profile)**

"Why thanks. I picked it out all by myself too," I added matter-of-factly.

She grinned. "I've taught you well."

I turned when I heard a moaning sound. Rosalie was sitting on the couch (looking beautiful as ever) with her head thrown back.

"Rose? Are you alright?" I asked, alarmed.

She just moaned in response.

"She's still sick from last week," Alice told me.

I went to her side and sat down.

"Have you seen a doctor? Maybe you have something more than the flu, like phenomena."

"Here! Let me make you a drink!" Alice suggested.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Good idea Alice, let's shove some alcohol down my throat so I can just puke it up! Good thinking!"

Alice glared sourly and made herself a drink instead.

"On second thought..."Rosalie said before getting up and running to the bathroom.

"God, she looked horrible," I murmured, walking to get the drink Alice made me.

Just then the boys (who had disappeared outside on the balcony) came in smelling like cigars.

"Jasper Hale! You were _not_ smoking a cigar were you!" Alice demanded shrilly.

"It's a special occasion!" Emmett boomed.

Alice smacked her brother upside the head.

"When you all die of lung cancer that will be a special occasion too!" she threatened.

I looked up at Edward quizically. He just shook his head, giving me indication that he didn't smoke one.

"Ugh, is Rosalie puking again?" Emmett whined.

Alice narrowed her eyes in offense. "Maybe you should go help her! And I need help in the kitchen! The guests will be arriving any minute now!"

I left Edward's side to go help Alice before she had a break-down.

Alice and I hurried to get all the food out in record time. We had just started pouring wine when Esme and Carlisle arrived.

We exchanged hugs and kisses for what seemed like an eternity. Then Jasper and Emmett snuck Carlisle outside to give him a cigar without Alice noticing. Rosalie emerged from the bathroom looking refreshed and back to her normal glowing self.

"That didn't take long," I said.

She just shrugged and sipped some water.

"It just went away! It's a Christmas miracle!" she said with a smile.

Within ten minutes all the people were here and the party was booming. I didn't know many people so I followed Edward around, greeting people from the office or old friends of their parents. It seemed like everyone I met gushed about how happy I'd made Edward and how cute we were. I could take the embarrassment any longer so I snuck off behind the wetbar and started making a double-shot drink.

"Make me one!"

I jumped when Alice came to my side.

"Actually, triple shot it please. Managing the annual Christmas party is hard work!"

I obeyed her order and made us both triples, forgetting what happened last time we got drunk.

We were half way through chugging our drinks when Rosalie came behind us, nearly in tears.

"Rose? What's wrong?" Alice asked.

Sobs rippled through her body as tears fell from her eyes.

"I look so fat in this dress!" she cried.

We both looked her up and down, only seeing an amazing hot body. What was she smokin?

"Rosalie, you look better than anyone here!" I said in disbelief.

She leaned over and cried some more.

"No I don't! I'm fat! I just passed one of the million mirrors in this place and I all I see is fat! I'm disgusting!"

Alice pulled her into a hug and looked at me helplessly. Maybe Rosalie really was sick.

"Sweetie, you're not fat. Just calm down. How much have you had to drink tonight?" Alice asked her calmly.

She pulled away and glared angrily at Alice.

"Nothing! I haven't drinken anything but water! God, I can't believe you thought I was drunk!"

She gritted her teeth and stomped away to go play victim with someone else. I watched her for a minute before turning back to Alice and then jumping. She was drinking straight out of the scotch bottle. I tugged it from her hands.

"Alice! What's wrong with you!"

She wiped her lips.

"What! My party is crowded, Rosalie is puking and having a breakdown, Jasper is smoking cigars, and somebody spilled cranberry sauce on my white linens! I'll drink from the damn bottle if I want to!"

She then pryed the bottle from my fingers and took another chug. Not taking it, I just walked away to let someone else deal with her.

* * *

By the time dinner rolled around, things had calmed down. Emmett talked Rosalie out of ripping her dress up and Jasper got Alice to stop drinking. We all sat down and let Esme take over serving the food since Alice was too drunk to remember half the people there. And I thought my Christmas Eves with Renee were crazy...

I looked up at Emmett when he started to make a toast.

"I would just like to thank everyone for being here tonight, we're so glad to have you. It's so nice that we are able to carry on the annual Christmas party without Mom and Dad and so now in their honor, I think I should sing a little song..."

And with that Emmett proceeded to sing "Deck the Halls". Rosalie bent her head down and started crying again. I figured Alice would started freaking out but considering that she was just as wasted as Emmett, she didn't mind. Instead she stood up and started singing with him.

Edward sighed. "It's normal for Emmett to get drunk every year, but this is a first."

* * *

**Sorry this one took so long, but I do have a life outside of this to attend to! I'm glad that you're all still reading and super supportive! I'll try to get them out faster!!!!!!!! I love you all for being so amazing!!**


	19. The Secret

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Hello my wonderful fans! I'm glad you all liked my previous chapters...and possibly got a sneak preview into the new plot line...maybe, but I'm not saying anything. :) **

**I was going to have this out last Saturday, but the log in has been not cooperating for the past few days so i can finally sit down and write! I'm trying to get these out faster!!**

**I did get a comment about Bella being OOC from Champagneandstrawberries, and I kind of wanted to talk about it. First off thank you so much for saying something about it. I'm glad when people give me some feedback so I can improve a little. But, I do think that you're a little off. Bella is such a determined person that she doesn't let things get in the way of what she wants. Initially she really wanted this article to be great so she can prove herself, so obviously she won't mess it up. Plus in Twilight she said once she makes a decision, she follows through with it. Though Bella is loyal and loves the Cullen's, she's just being her stubborn self who doesn't know what choice is right.**

**Did you all see Rob at the Oscars? Oh, he was pretty spiffy if I do say so myself. Now since this authors note is way too long...we shall continue!!**

**Bella POV**

The party was finally winding down. After the infamous _Deck the Halls_ moment, things slowly got better. Alice stopped the hard liquor and stayed with wine. Rosalie stopped crying on account of the food, who knew eating could make someone feel better? And Emmett...well, nothing really improved with him.

After the meal was cleaned up a lot of people left. That definitely took some stress of Alice's plate. The left over people retired to the living room for coffee. Edward kept his arm securely around me the whole time while Carlisle started telling stories about when he, Emmett, and Alice were little. It was hard to believe that at one point in life, Alice refused to wear clothes. Then again she was five. I guess she would always strip down and one day she just stripped and started running through a fancy restaurant screaming and got her parents kicked out. Though in a way, that was just like Alice.

Right now he was in the middle of a story about Edward when he was 13. I couldn't help myself and peek at his beet red face, giggling at how the tables have turned.

"...so then I find him sitting on the couch with one of Elizabeth's bras, trying to figure out the fastest way to rip it off!"

The whole room started to burst out with laughter and I would be lying if I said I didn't spit my coffee out. I turned to face him, trying to be serious and failing entirely.

"You did? Oh Edward, that's so cute!"

Edward rolled his eyes. "In my defense, Emmett was the one who taught me that! He said ripping bras off was more attractive than unhooking them!"

Everyone ignored his plea for innocence and continued laughing.

"Speaking of Emmett...where is he? And Jasper, I haven't seen them in awhile," I said, looking around.

"Oh who gives a shit!" Rosalie wailed, standing up. "I've been having the worst night of my life and no one even cares! I'm dying and you all just sit around like happy little people getting drunk and ignoring my cries of pain! My back hurts and I feel nauseous like 24/7. And to top it all off, I have to pee ever five seconds!"

After her speech, Rosalie stomped off to the bathroom to presumably go pee. It was silent for a minute while we tried to think of something. Instead Alice just started hiccuping like crazy. Then suddenly Esme jumped up like she just had an epiphany.

"No! It couldn't be..."she said to herself. She ran to the bathroom and let herself in. Not two minutes later we heard Rosalie scream again. I was about to get up too when I heard something coming from the den. We all stopped and looking across the large room to the den to see Emmett and Jasper lounged on the couch, seconds from passing out. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer was playing in the background.

Then Emmett started to sing again...

"Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer...."he belted out.

Then Jasper started barking.

"Ruff ruff ruff!"

"Had a very shiny nose!"

"It was shineeeey!"Jasper howled.

Emmett started raising his hands in the moment.

"And...if _you_ ever saw it!" he yelled.

"Oh I've seen it brotha!"Jasper screamed.

Alice got up and ran over to them.

"Will you two shut up!"

Both boys looked up at her in utter shock.

"This is the Cullen Family: Uncut," Carlisle whispered to me. I giggled and continued watching the drama unfold.

* * *

By the time one in the morning rolled around, Alice and Jasper were sound asleep in their room, Rosalie was in the guest room bed, tucked in by Esme. Emmett was passed out cold on the couch and Edward and I were laying in each others arms in the other guest room.

"Have I told you how much I love you today?" he asked, placing feathery kisses along my neck. I giggled like usual.

"No."

I could feel his lips curl into a smile. "I love you more than from here to the sun."

I sat up quickly and looked down on him, letting my hair fan around my face. I knew he loved it when I did that. He said it was exceptionally sexy.

"What? That's it?" I pouted, pushing my bottom lip out.

I heard a growl from his throat and he quickly pulled me down and hovered over me.

"No that's not it you silly, beautiful girl! I love you from here to the sun and then til the end of existance," he whispered.

That was it. I'd had enough flirting and went right for the jugular in form of his lips.

***

When my eyes opened, I hoped that the clock would read at leat 7, but I wasn't that lucky. It was 4:30. I turned my face to see Edward fast asleep. I focused on his face but to no avail could I fall back asleep. So I got up and wandered into the kitchen to get some cereal.

Deciding to not blind myself, I kept the lights off and stumbled my way around. I had just gotten a spoon when I tripped over something and fell to the ground. My spoon dropped to the ground, making so much noise my ears hurt.

"What the..."

I let my eyes adjust and then saw my problem. Rosalie was sitting on the floor, crying and eating from a tub of ice cream.

"Rosalie?" I whispered.

She looked up at me and pushed the ice cream away.

"Rosalie, what's wrong?" I said again, scooting closer.

She sucked in a breath and looked down, craddling her flat abs.

"Everything's going so wrong," she sobbed.

"What's going wrong? Rosalie, tell me," I begged.

She only looked up at me, silent tears now running down her face.

"Bella..." It was so quiet I thought she mouthed it.

I rubbed her shoulder soothingly.

"You can tell me, I won't tell anyone, I promise..."

That seemed to be enough.

"I'm p-pregnant."

My stomache dropped.

"What? You're preg-"

"Yes! God, why is this happening to me?" she cried.

I pulled her into my arms and held onto her while she cried. I didn't know what to say. Super-model, hot goddess, strong Rosalie pregnant?

It did make sense though. Her skipping lunch the other day for being sick, her mood swings.

"What will people think? I'm not even married yet! This wasn't how it was supposed to happen."

"Shhh...it's all going to be okay. Shh..." I whispered, smoothing down her hair.

"I can't do this, Bella. I'm not ready...I-I don't know what to do," she sobbed, clutching my shirt in her fists.

Hearing all this I couldn't help but shed a tear or two. I've never really had to be there for anyone before.

"We're going to figure it out."

She pulled back and looked up at me. Her eyes were childlike and for the first time, they screamed help.

"Please don't tell anyone. I don't want to ruin tomorrow...just, please."

I nodded quickly, taking the secret to my grave.

"Not until you're ready. Just know that I'm here for you, okay?"

She blew her nose in a kleenex and nodded.

"Thank you."

I stood up and grabbed her hands, yanking her up too. We silently walked to our rooms and before stepping inside, I caught her eye and silent conversation ran between us. I knew that from then on things would be different between us. I smiled and then snuck back into bed.

* * *

When morning finally came around, Edward woke me up by kissing my eyelids.

"Wake up sleeping beauty."

I smiled, but kept my eyes closed.

"Merry Christmas."

I fought the urge to giggle and then screamed when he picked me up and carried me out of the room.

"Edward! Put me down!"

He obeyed and set me to my feet.

"As you wish," he teased, kissing my cheek.

"Merry Christmas."

We continued into the living room where the tree was lit up and Alice was fixing the presents so they looked orderly.

"Morning! Merry Christmas!" she sang.

Unbelievable. Why didn't _she_ get nasty hang overs? My life was so unfair!

"Ugh...morning," Emmett moaned, walking from the bathroom and rubbing his head. "My head kills!"

"What are you complaining about? My ass hurts from that wrestling we did last night!" Jasper said, coming from the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

I was about to ask but Rosalie came out from her room. She was glowing and perfect, as usual.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" she said happily, flashing a smile at me.

Edward snorted. "Someone's in a good mood."

"Hey babe, how you feeling? I heard you barfing last night."

She smacked him upside the head.

"And we're back."

Rosalie glared at him and continued into the kitchen for some coffee.

When we were all seated around the tree, Alice decided for us that we would open the gifts from our significant others first. I was shaking so bad that I completely blocked out what was going on around us and concentrated on Edward unwrapping the small box. The moment he opened the box I fixed my gaze on his eyes. He sucked in a breath and his emerald eyes melted.

"Bella....this is..."

He looked up at me, truly amazed. "Perfect."

The shaking stopped and I sighed in relief. I did good.

"Really?"

Edward quickly kissed me.

"Of course, but now you have to open mine."

He handed me a small, wrapped box of nearly the same size. I looked at him questioningly but opened it fast.

It was a small black box with the same silver initials on it of the store. No way. I opened the box and gasped. It was a silver locket with the initials _I.M.S._ on the top.**(picture in profile)**

"I was going to put _B.S._ but that sounded bad," he chuckled.

When I opened the locked my heart dropped. It was a picture of us from a date we had a few weeks ago. My eyes started to fill with hot tears as I looked into his eyes. It was the locket I saw in the window that night I walked in for his bracelet.

"This is...the best present I could have ever gotten!"

Edward looked just as nervous as I did. "Good."

I picked up the delicate chain and let the locket spin around.

"Put it on me! Put it on," I cried.

He laughed and hooked it around my neck. Then he sat back and enjoyed his work.

"It's stunning on you."

I then hooked his bracelet on and sat back like he did.

"Where are you going?"

Edward followed me back and pressed his lips to mine.

* * *

**Okay, I'm hoping this sounds good because I wrote it at like 1 in the morning...I'm slightly delusional then but it was the only time I could write it. Thanks for your patience, I know this took long. Leave love in the reviews!**


	20. No Cell Phones

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Hello hello to all! I hope your week has been wonderful...and if it hasn't then hopefully this chapter will raise your spirits! I'm getting over acold at the moment so my senses are a bit off...so I'm hoping that doesn't interfere with anything...hopefully. :)**

**Yes....it is true! Rosalie is with child! I debated it over and over and in the end...it was the only way my story would work. The ending would SUCK if Rosalie was not pregnant...know that.**

**I'm sorry this took like two weeks, but a lot has been going on and I just keep forgetting to write! I'm sorry!!!**

**But I hope most of you are happy with that, because I am. Now...we shall continue! **

**Bella POV**

"Hey! Cut that out!" Alice's sharp voice snapped.

I jumped and let my lips break apart from Edward.

"Hmm?"

She was standing up, hands on her hips, and raising an eyebrow.

"Family rule: no macking out on the couch during present time!"

"That's a rule?"

She sighed, "Yes. Last year when Emmett wrapped up Rose's engagement ring they nearly started stripping right on my couch! Ugh, I would have had to burn it and then mail it to you in an air-tight container! So as a rule...now making out. Kissing is fine...but that stunt is one infraction."

I blushed and sat back.

We continued opening presents for another hour. Everyone adored their gifts from me. Emmett espeically. He hooked it up immediately but Edward forced him to not serve drinks due to last nights drunkness. He sulked and used it to serve coffee instead.

Alice's was the most...interesting gift. It was a small box and when I opened it there was a picture of her in it.

"Uhm...thank you?" I said unsure, flipping the photo around.

She giggled and flew over to me.

"You get me for a day of fun and shopping! I'm taking you shopping and we'll get hot clothes and make-overs! Oh, it will be a blast!"She squealed.

I blinked and looked at Edward who was failing miserably at a straight face. I remembered my manners and hugged her with fake enthusiasim.

"Thank you Alice! This is _perfect_!"

She started bouncing in her spot and then zoomed back over to Jasper.

By breakfast things had settled and Rosalie had gone a whole four hours without vomitting or crying. We would look over at each other and share that same silent conversation from last night. I wondered how long it would take for her to tell Emmett.

I was helping Alice in the kitchen when my cell went off.

"No cell phones!" she screamed as I ran to the room to get it.

"Hello?"

"Beeeeeella! How's it going darling...got any details?"

I shut the door and snuck into the ajoining bathroom and turned the faucet on.

"Uhm...yea. But-"

"Tell me!" Andrew demanded.

I instantly regretted that. There was no way I could tell him Rosalie was pregnant and had a breakdown.

"I can't. This is something I just can't say yet, Andrew."

He cleared his throat. "Bella, need I remind you that I am spending Christmas with my family and this is wasting my time."

"But you called me-"

"I don't care! This is your job. Screw it up and your jobless."

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't think of anything worth saying.

"I'm sorry, that was harsh. I'll try to be all civil, because it's Christmas. You won't lose your job, but you'll go back to your old cubicle and not get the fancy office with the nice view and get to write columns all day."

I heard Alice's laughter in the background and pictured them all sitting together like a family. I took a deep breath.

"Okay. I've got a lot on today, but let me write it. I'll have the next installment when I go back to work next week."

He seemed to accept this.

"Alright, but it better be good. If it's anything less then last weeks magnificent installment then I might cry. Ciao."

And then the line was dead.

I took a deep breath before coming out of the bathroom. Alice startled me, she was standing right in front of me with her hands on her hips.

"Oh! Alice!"

She tapped her foot. "No cell phones on Christmas!"

I blushed and turned the phone over in my hand.

"It was my dad..."I lied...hoping she didn't catch that.

Alice scrutinized me for a moment before finally giving in.

"Okay, that's alright I guess. Now come on! See what I did!"

She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the breakfast table. Everyone's pancakes were topped off with whipped cream and some syrupy glaze. It looked like it was from a cooking magazine.

"Wow, Alice...this looks fantastic!"

She grinned and then called everyone to eat.

* * *

By three we had gone through a whole game of monopoly. I was kind of a rip-off because in one hour Edward had hotels all around the board due to his amazing arguing and persuasive skills. We all lost and I learned this happened every year. After he cleaned the game up we stoked the fire, closed the curtains, and huddled up on the couches. Edward pulled me between his legs and wrapped his arms securely around my waist.

"What are we watching?" I whispered as Alice popped the DVD in.

"_It's A Wonderful Life!_" he whispered back. "We watch it everyone Christmas after monopoly."

I smiled and snuggled into him. I loved this movie.

When my favorite part came, I payed close attention as I always had.

_"What do you want Mary? Do you want the moon?"_

Edward whispered the lines into my ear, making goosebumps rise on my body. When I was younger I always wanted a man like George Bailey...and I finally found him.

_"I'll take it."_

I twisted my head around to kiss him, but caught the look in his eyes. They were sparkling as ever.

"Don't even think about it," Alice's voice warned from across the room.

I peeked over at her. She looked like she was watching the movie intently.

"What?" I asked innocently.

She didn't move her eyes. "You know what..."

I pouted but got over it and went back to the movie.

* * *

After the lavish dinner Alice cooked, we said our goodbyes and went home. My fingers were itching to start writing my next installment. Andrew and I decided that his article was so long that it be a 'mini' column and have a new installment each week. If the ratings went well by the time it was over with, I would get my own column. I took that as incintive to make this the best thing I've ever written. Who knows, maybe it would even give the bar more business...not that it needed it or anything.

So I was sitting on the couch writing with Edward on the other side sending out notes and such to his employees from his iphone. I don't know how long he was looking at me, but when I glanced up for a minute I noticed him intensely staring.

"What?"

He shook his head. "What are you writing? You always look so into it, like it's your passion. I'll admit that I'm really curious."

I hugged my laptop closer to my body.

"Well you can't know. It's private...for now," I added, trying to at least be somewhat honest.

He shrugged like it didn't bother him...but I knew it did. That was why I added the password onto my computer so incase his curiosity got the better of him I was covered.

* * *

**Okay....I figured out why this took me so long...I went through a major writers block! That is why this chapter is super short and fluffy...I know exactly what's coming next...I just don't know how to get there. I'm sorry this is soooooo short for all the time that has passed...but I'm going away this weekend but when I get back I promise to have the block over with and the story back to order! You guys rock! 3**


	21. Breakdown

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**My wonderful fans....I don't even have to words to thank you all for being so patient with me! I've been sick and on vacation and suffering from writers block but I'm finally back to normal and with some great new ideas. I've decided that airplanes provide the BEST inspiration. I don't know what it is, but every time I fly I just get these amazing ideas...I love it!**

**So...you are all fantastic, I love you and keep reading!**

**Bella POV**

I don't know how long it was...but I'm pretty sure I had been sitting in front of Andrew's desk for twenty minutes now. He was reading my latest edition and staring out his floor-lentgh window. I tried to be patient, but it ran out after the fifth "uh huh". So I tried concentrating on the clock and each second that ticked by. I counted to 300 seconds before I got bored.

Then when I thought I was going to lose it, Andrew spun around. He slapped the paper on the desk and then looked up at me.

"This. Is."

I gulped. His look was intense.

"Brilliant."

I sighed with relief and smiled. I wasn't sure if he was going to like Christmas. It didn't seem like him. I was especially worried about the whole Rosalie being pregnant thing. I decided at the last minute I had to add that in, because if this was about "the people of the bar", I couldn't skip something major. It had been on my conscious all day though. Hell, this whole story has been on my conscious since I fell in love with Edward.

I had come to realize that my relationship with Edward was the most honest relationship I'd ever been in...and that was pretty pathetic seeing how I was living this double life with him.

"Bella, I am so excited about this coming out!"

Wow...he actually had genuine enthusiasm.

"Good, I'm really thrilled too..."

That was a lie. I was actually nervous and scared for my life. This could ruin everything. And then what would I have? A giant office? My own column? Those were the things I wanted most...but yet those things wouldn't keep me warm at night. I could love those things, but they'd never love me back.

My cell went off at that point and I excused myself.

"Hello?"

"Hi! Bella, it's Rosalie!"

I almost dropped the phone. Rosalie sounded...excited...to be talking to me. I almost couldn't believe it.

"Oh uhm, hi! How are you?"

I could tell she was smiling on the other end.

"Terrific! I was actually calling to see if you wanted to do lunch with Alice tomorrow?"

I thought ahead and went through my mental calendar.

"Yea sure, I'm free."

"Oh good! I've got to go, but I'll call you tonight about the details."

"Okay, bye."

"Ciao!"

The line went dead and I stood there smiling for myself.

"Get a good story."

I jumped and whirled around. Andrew had stuck his head out the door and was right at my ear.

"God! Andrew you scared me!" I cried, feeling my heart trying to escape my chest.

He shrugged and then slammed the door in my face.

* * *

When I got home that night, I found Edward in the kitchen. He was wearing my apron and sauteing peppers. I set down my stuff and snuck in, watching him carefully. A smile spread slowly across my face, seeing him that way. My heart melted and it was like my love went up another notch, if it were possible. Why was I so lucky to have this wonderful man? I didn't deserve him. My face fell and my happy was ruining by the shadow over my head. Seeing him so happy, thinking that we were so perfect made me want to throw up. What was I doing to him? I could feel my eyes welling up with hot tears and I felt them run down my face. He lifted the pan and flipped the peppers in the air. It all seemed to move in slow motion. I felt sick, sick to my stomach. It dawned on me so quickly, all these things were terrible. I was silently building up this hurt and betrayl that would all come crashing down and ambush him.

Edward turned the stove off and turned around. He had a huge smile on his face, obviously knowing that I was watching. But it turned to a frown when he saw me silently crying. He came over to me immediately, wiping my tears away.

"Bella? What's wrong?" he asked, concern thick in his tone.

I shook my head, but more tears fell out to replace what he wiped away.

"N-nothing. I don't k-know."

This was ridiculous! Why was I crying? I was right where I wanted to be and I ruining the moment.

Edward pulled me into his warm embrace and kissed my hair.

"Shhh...what's wrong? You can tell me. It's okay."

Him comforting me just made it worse. I broke off and ran to the bathroom and locked the door. He was there, banging and pleading for me to open up. I ignored it and opened the toilet lid just in time for me to throw up all my guilt. It just kept coming even when I was sure my stomach was empty. When it finally ceased, I flushed and then sat back against the counter. The tears kept coming, more fast this time.

"Bella? Please open up! Tell me what's wrong? Please...Bella...I love you..."

I looked at the door.

"You shouldn't love me," I whispered just so I could hear.

* * *

I don't know how long I was in there, but it felt like hours. I finally got up the courage and stood up. I rinsed my mouth out three times with mouthwash before emerging. The apartment was black. Everything was turned off except for one lamp. Then my eyes landed on Edward. He was sitting on the couch, asleep. It took a lot to not cry as I looked at him, so peaceful. I pulled the comforter from my bed and carried to the couch were I curled up next to him and spread it out evenly. Unconsciously he wrapped his arms around me and I fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

I woke up with the sun shining in my eyes. I squinted and shield it with my arms as I sat up and stretched my back. I heard a crack and then settled back down, remembering the events from last night. It wasn't long before Edward woke up to. We made eye contact and he seemed to be surprised to see me there. He looked at me carefully, as if one wrong look would cause me to break out into tears again.

"I'm fine now. I'm so sorry about that, I don't know what got into me."

We sat in silence for a minute. I gave up and wormed into his arms. He accepted me and kissed my forehead.

"We don't have to talk about it, if you want."

And I knew he meant it. Edward would never force me to share my mind when I wasn't ready. And I wasn't ready.

"I don't want to, at least not right now. I just can't."

And he seemed to accept that.

"Okay. Just know that whenever your ready, I'm here. And I'll always love you, not matter what."

I nodded and kept my face buried in his chest.

"I know...and I love you too. I'm glad that you're here, and that you stayed through all that last night."

He kissed my forehead and smiled.

"Where else would I be?"

* * *

After breakfast Edward went to work and I got dressed for lunch. I got to the restaurant around noon to find that Rosalie was there early. She was in a booth, cradling her flat stomach and frowning. I hurried to her side.

"Rosalie? Are you okay? You seemed so happy yesterday."

She sniffled.

"I can't do this Bella."

I smoothed her hair. "What? Of course your can."

She shook her head.

"No, I can't. I told Emmett last night."

I caught her eye. The twinkle that was always there was gone.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. He just looked at me and then my belly and then me. He was in shock. Bella, Emmett isn't ready to be a dad and I'm not ready to be a mom."

I kept looking at Rosalie. It was like she wasn't even here. She looked like she were in a different place, like she was off thinking about what happened the night before.

_"Emmett, baby, I need to talk to you."_

_Emmett crossed the room and sat down next to Rosalie. She was fumbling with her mother's pearl ring which she always wore on her middle finger of her right hand._

_"Rose? Baby, what is it?"_

_He could tell by her tone that this was serious. He knew he wasn't going to like it._

_"Just first, promise me that you love me. That you'll be here."_

_Emmett took her hands and kissed them._

_"Always."_

_She nodded and took a deep breath._

_"I'm pregnant."_

_Her hands slipped from his. He wanted to laugh, but her eyes told him she was serious. A million thoughts raced through his head, one after the other. How could this have happened? They were always so careful, and Rosalie was on the pill. It was only 99% effective, but still._

_"Pr-pregnant?"_

_She nodded and tears rolled down her cheeks._

_His eyes focused in on her flat belly and then back to her face. He was confused and scared._

_"Emmett, please say something."_

_He shook his head slowly. "What do you want me to say? You're pregnant, Rose. We aren't even married yet and we're having a baby! We're not ready for this, we can't do this!"_

_His thoughts spilled from his mouth in panic. He started shaking and finally he got up._

_"I need some air."_

_Rosalie was left on the couch. She felt abandoned and lost. She thought about the small baby growing inside of her...and that small thing brought her little comfort._

"No one is ready to be a mother Rosalie. It just happens and all you can do is hope for the best. Emmett just needs some time. It's not easy for a man, just let him cool down. I know he's going to be a great dad."

A tear escaped her right eye and she looked up at me like I was God.

"You think?"

I nodded. "I know he will."

"Hey, what's going on?"

We both turned to see Alice sliding into the other side of the booth.

"Rose? Why are you crying?"

She looked at me and then back at Rosalie.

"Go ahead, tell her."

Rosalie nodded and looked back at Alice.

"Alice...I'm pregnant."

Alice's concern disappeared. Her whole face went blank, just her wide green eyes stared at us.

"Alice?" I asked, waving my hands in front of her face. She didn't move.

We sat there impatiently, waiting for Alice to say something. Then she finally blinked.

"What?"

I looked at Rosalie, but she said nothing.

And then Alice surprised us both. A wide smile spread across her face and she practicly climbed over the table and pulled Rosalie into a hug.

"Rosalie! I'm so happy! This is so exciting! Why are you crying? You're going to be a mom!"

Alice was thrilled! But then again, she always was. At first Rosalie didn't know what to make of it, but then she smiled and hugged Alice back tightlt.

"Oh my god!" she said in realization. "I'm pregnant! I'm having a baby!"

We all laughed and hugged each other, taking this as a celebration and not shame.

Rosalie was having a baby...and that was just fine.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed that! I went into this chapter not even planning the Bella-Breakdown and it just came out! It totally shocked me and I hope you all enjoy it! Leave love in the comments!**


	22. Drunken Feelings

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**WoW...those reviews just get better each time...and I was especially proud of last chapter! It's good you all finally get to see the guilt eating away at her...and I know Bella doesn't really freak out that much about it, but it is constantly on her mind, it's not like she just doesn't care.**

**And I am back on track with how I want this to go...the plot is going to thicken in about the next two chapters or so...my next major plot line that I've been waiting to put in since the beginning but I had to find the right time...and that time is ALMOST here, finally!! (and no..it's not what you think it is...that doesn't come until much later at the end...which the end is very far away right now...:) )**

**Enjoy!!**

**Edward POV**

"Honestly, how did she expect me to react? I'm too young-...I can't handle this..." Emmett ranted on.

I had been listening to Emmett whine about Rosalie's pregnancy for an hour now. We were in the empty bar with me behind the counter (so I could moniter how much alcohol he put in his drinks) and he was leaned over the counter, wallowing in his drunkness.

"Emmett, Rosalie being pregnant is not that bad of a thing. It's actually a _good_ thing. It's not like you two are never going to get married. You're going to be a father, man."

He just looked up at me like I was stupid.

"Father! I'm not-" he paused to chug the rest of his shot. "I'm not ready to be a father! I always knew that Rosalie wanted kids, but we were going to be _at least_ 30! We were going to travel and live out our twenties, have fun! This is screwing up our plan!"

With his bloodshot eyes it almost seemed as if he were crying.

"You know, Mom told me once that the best things in life were unexpected," I reminded him.

Emmett only rolled his eyes. "She only said that because I told you you were an accident and you started crying like a little girl."

I sighed and remembered that. I was eight years old and Emmett let it slip that my conception was unplanned, unlike him and Alice who were planned. I, being the mama's boy I was, went crying to her and she pulled me into her arms and told me that the best things were unexpected. She said I was everything she could ever want in a son.

"I was not crying!" I defended, shoving another drink at him.

He took it and chugged half of it.

"How would you feel if you were in my shoes? What if Bella were pregnant?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's irrelevant. Bella isn't the pregnant one here," I said.

Emmett looked at me carefully.

"Have you even slept with her yet?"

I glared at him. "That's none of your business, but no, I haven't. It's not time yet, we've only been together a month!"

Emmett was enjoying himself. He knew I hated talking about being intimate with my girlfriends.

"Do you want to? Come on, I'm your big brother! I'm the one who told you about sex!"

I wrinkled my nose, remembering my first sex talk. Emmett was 13 and I was 11....needless to say I passed out. Emmett liked to be extremely graphic and being an 11 year old boy, it did not go over well with me. The one thing that horrified me to death until I was 13 was that he told me if I wasn't stronger than the girl I would end up pregnant. My father never allowed him to teach me another thing again.

"Of course I do. I love Bella more than anything, but I know she's not ready and I want to make it special. One doesn't rush into something like that."

Emmett snorted. "What about with Tanya? You two rushed from the very beginning."

God I hated him drunk!

"That was very different, and don't you dare ever mention that to Bella. Tanya and I didn't have the same relationship, and now I can't believe I ever considered marrying her. The only kind of relationship we had was physical and I hated that. I couldn't just be with her like I can with Bella. That's probably why she ran off."

Emmett was silent for a minute.

"Think we'll ever see her again?" he mused.

I shrugged. "I honestly don't care. But I imagine she's with her sisters up in Denali."

"You still don't know how I feel though," he said after a minute.

I sighed. "If I _were _in your shoes, I wouldn't be drunk in a bar with my brother! I'd be telling her how much I love her and that this will work out and that I was happy. I wouldn't have ran outside when she told me either. I'd be supportive and loving, like you should be you damn fool! Get some initiative and go find her. Man up Emmett."

Emmett got up and slapped the bar. "I will! Where is she!"

"Having lunch with Bella and Alice at that restaurant across the city."

He nodded and headed for the door.

"Uhm, Emmett!" I called out.

He stopped and waited for me to catch up.

"Let me drive."

* * *

We got to the restaurant in record time. As soon as I parked Emmett was running inside, tripping over everything, but he looked determined as hell.

* * *

**Bella POV**

We were just in the middle of coffee when Emmett came bursting through the door. He tripped over five tables while running to us, the whole time calling out Rosalie's name.

"Rosalie! Baby...I came!" he yelled.

Everyone turned and stared at us.

"Emmett, are you drunk!" Rosalie hissed, trying to hide her face from the onlookers. I saw Edward walk in silently and make his way over to our table, apologizing to everyone that Emmett disturbed.

"Baby, I love you! And I'm sorry for being such an ass to you last night! Having a baby isn't easy, but we can do it."

Rosalie was now glaring at him. "Damn right you were an ass! How could you do that to me!"

She had crawled out of the booth and was waiting for him to answer.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know how to react. But Edward talked to me and now I realize my mistakes. This is unexpected, but it will be good! You're pregnant, and I'm happy!"

Rosalie's eyes were tearing up and a few fell down her cheeks.

"Really?" she whispered through quivering lips.

He nodded. "Really, I love you."

She quickly threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately.

"I love this woman and she's having my baby!" he shouted to the restaurant. Everyone started clapping like in the movies, shouting out things like 'you go man' and 'congratulations'.

"She's pregnant!" he yelled.

Rosalie could only roll her eyes and hope some coffee would wash out the drunkenness in him.

Edward pulled me from the booth and into his arms so he could kiss me.

"Wow, what was that for?" I asked when people started cat calling to us.

He just smiled at me. "Because I love you."

I blushed hard, but kissed him again.

"Is she pregnant too?" someone from the restaurant yelled out.

Edward laughed.

"No...she's just amazing."

* * *

From then the days flew by. Two more wonderful months passed by. It turns out that Rosalie had been pregnant for about six weeks when she found out and would be due on July15. Her and Emmett were already prepping the nursery, with Alice's help, and things seemed like they were getting better.

By the beginning of March I had nearly half of my story done. Not much else had happened so I'd had to cut down my installment and wait for something major. The bar was listed as the number 5 bar/nightclub on the West Coast, but that was it.

So until then I was just enjoying being with Edward and trying not to think about the future.

* * *

It was Saturday night and I was waiting for Edward to come pick me up for dinner. It was our three month anniversary. We knew it wasn't that big of a deal, but he insisted celebrating it anyway. So Alice got me all dolled up and then left twenty minutes befor Edward was supposed to arrive at 7:30.

I waited and waited. He didn't come at 7:30 or at 7:45. By the time it was 8:00 I was started to get a little miffed. This wasn't like Edward, he was usually so punctual. Thoughts ran through my mind that maybe something happened, but nothing bad ever happened to Edward. I figured maybe he was working late or lost track of time. I walked around my apartment seven times before I decided to call him. There was no answer. I tried it three more times before trying his house. There was no answer still.

By 8:30 I was pissed. Obviously he was okay otherwise someone would have called me...so that means he was just late. I was about to call again when the doorbell rang. I sighed and took my time getting on my coat and putting on another layer of Alice's lipgloss. If I had to wait an hour for him, he could wait for me. I was buttoning my coat when someone spoke.

"Bella! Open up!"

It was Alice. Why was Alice here? I hurried to the door and opened it. She looked paniced. My stomach dropped immediately...I knew this wasn't good.

"Alice, what is it?"

She tried to talk and catch her breath at the same time.

"It's Edward...he got in a car accident...it's bad...come on...with me..."she managed to get all the words out just in time for me to grab her hand and run down the hall to the elevator. I didn't trip once despite the fact that I was in heels.

We got in the car and Alice drove like a maniac to the hospital. The whole time I was trying hard to not cry and keep it together. Edward in a car accident? Yes, he was a crazy driver, but he was a _good_ driver. The whole fact that I was mad he wasn't there just made me sick.

Alice weaved through traffic and earned many knocks, but she didn't pause once.

"How bad is it?"

She kept looking straight ahead.

"I don't know. The hospital called me and then I came to get you. They won't say anything over phone besides the fact that he's in ICU."

My spine stiffened. _ICU, Intensive Care Unit._ No one went there unless it was really bad.

"They had to helicopter him in. He's going to be so pissed that his Volvo is totalled," she said.

I looked at her in amazement. She was talking about his car like he just got a scratch and would be fine.

"Alice! Who cares about the damn car! He's in the ICU!"

She sighed.

"I'm just saying..."she murmered.

I mentally kicked myself for yelling and the rest of the carride I was gripping the doorhandle, braced for anything.

* * *

**No...that's not the major plotline...it comes next chapter! I hope you enjoyed that!!! Leave me some love...:)**


	23. Susan

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Haha, I know I'm super evil for giving that cliffhanger...but I had to! I hadn't given you guys one in such a long time and I know how much you love them!**

**Now for all of you concenred...hell no will this be the cliche thing...in fact Edward being in the hospital has immense purpose. He won't fall into a coma, he's not going to get amnesia, he's not going to die....you can stop running around with a bucket on your head. But....this chapter will blow your mind away....yes, I said it. I've been waiting MONTHS for the plot line to come in and I was waiting just for this exact moment! I wasn't lying to you all when I said I had the whole story planned out....**

**Anywas...enjoy!!!**

**Bella POV**

Alice peeled into the ER wing and let valet take her yellow porshe as we booked it into the hospital. We followed the signs to the third floor and stopped in a waiting room where we saw the rest of the family waiting. I bypassed them and headed right for the Nurses' Station.

The nurse looked up at me. She was older, maybe in her 40's with brown hair that had streaks of gray. She looked tired and had bags under her eyes.

"May I help you?" she asked, looking up from her computer screen.

"Yes, I need to see Edward Cullen immediately," I said as my legs started shaking.

She frowned. "Are you family?"

Alice came up behind me. "I'm his girlfriend."

"I'm sorry, but family only are allowed in the ICU and that's only during visiting hours which are from 9 AM to 6 PM."

"I'm his sister, please, couldn't she go in with us? I know he'll want to see her more than any of us," she offered.

The nurse looked hopeless. She was tired and there was obviously nothing she could do now.

"Please...I need to see him."

I could tell my eyes were crazy with worry, I probably looked a little delirious.

She sighed. "Alright, tomorrow you can go in if he's in stable condition. But I simply cannot let you in past visiting hours. Besides, Mr. Cullen is in surgery right now."

Surgery?

We left the station and went over to everyone else. I turned around to see the double doors leading into the ICU. It made me feel sick to think of him being in there, all alone. I turned away and sat down, pulling my coat tighter around myself.

"So what's going on?" Alice asked.

Rosalie's eyes were red and puffy, just like everyone else's.

"They flew him in an hour ago. He got hit by a drunk driver and his car flipped a lot and then landed upside down. He has multiple lacerations all over his body and lost a lot of blood. They had to give him a transfusion when he got here. He was knocked unconscious too so they have to do an MRI tomorrow to make sure nothing happened to his brain." Rosalie said.

"What about the surgery?" I asked.

"He had one collapsed lung so their in there fixing it now," she said.

I bent my head down and let tears spill onto my lap. Alice put her tiny arms around me and we sat there holding each other.

"He'll be alright though, right?" I asked, hope filling my voice.

Rosalie started crying again. "I...I don't know. All that blood he lost, they said he almost didn't make it. They told us this was the crucial night. If he could make it through the night, he'd be okay....but even the doctors don't know. It was bad, Bella."

My lips trembled and my heart dropped. He had to make, he just had to. I couldn't imagine my life without him. I'd rather die without him with me. I buried my face into Alice's shoulders and clutched her thin shirt in my fist, trying to keep the sobs locked in. My whole body shook as they struggled to break free and finally they did. My cried echoed in the room.

"He's going to be okay Bella." she assured me.

"I know....I just....I couldn't stand it if he wasn't, Alice. I love nothing more than him. I just need to see him, so I can believe it," I cried.

* * *

The hours were endless. We each took turns getting up to go get coffee and food for everyone. My eyes stung so bad that all my tears were used up. I was crying dry now and that hurt even worse. We tried sleeping in the chairs, but each time a doctor came out we sat up alert, but they never came to us. Esme came over to me after awhile and started telling me stories about when Edward was younger. It made me feel better and it distracted me from the long night. I didn't have to think about Edward making it through the night or getting to see him tomorrow. I just focused on her voice.

It must have been three in the morning when a doctor finally came over to us. He took off his green scrub cap and balled it up in his fist.

"Are you the family of Mr. Cullen?" he asked.

I sat up straight, looking at him like he was God.

"We were able to fix his lung and contain the bleeding. We'll do an MRI tomorrow...but folks, it looks like we're past the worst. He's doing just fine for the condition he's in so if the MRI shows no damage I'd say he'll be making a full recovery."

At that moment I had never felt so much relief in my life. I threw my arms around Esme and hugged her close and pretended she was Edward. He was going to be okay.

* * *

"Bella? Bella wake up..."

Someone was shaking my shoulders...my stiff shoulders. I yawned and blinked a few times until Alice's face came into view.

"Hmm?"

She smiled. "We can see Edward now, if you want."

I sat up too quickly because my head throbbed and my back killed. I sat there for a minute and stretched before standing up and wobbling. Great, I forgot I was still in my heels and dress.

I followed Alice down the hallway in the ICU, passing doctors and nurses and patients walking around.

"What time is it?"

She wrapped an arm around me.

"Noon. Everyone else has seen him, but we didn't want to wake you. I know you needed some sleep. But it's been about an hour so I think he might be asleep," she said.

We finally made it to his room, a single of course, and I followed her in. My knees started to shake when I saw him. There was gauze wrapped around his head and I could see the red blood seeping through. There were bruises everywhere and tubes running every which way. There were at least five different machines around him, beeping and making weird air noises. This was a lot worse than it sounded.

I broke off Alice and sat on the edge of the bed, taking his hand and bringing it to my face. His eyes were closed and he was sleeping so peacefully I couldn't stand to wake him. I didn't even notice that Alice left or how much time had passed. I only sat there and cried.

And then his eyes opened. They looked confused at first, but when they settled on me they sparkled.

"Hey," Edward whispered, his voice raspy and tired. More tears flew down my face. His smile vanished and he slowly lifted a hand to wipe my tears away. The way his hand shook it looked like it hurt him. "Shhh...don't cry, I'm alright. Everything's fine now..."

That only made me cry more. Why did this have to happen to him? This should have happened to me. That car should have hit me, I deserved it. I deserved to be near death...or even dead for what I've done.

Edward pulled my face down so it rested on his chest. He winced when I layed it there so I tried to keep my weight off him as he stroked my hair.

"Please don't cry Bella. I'm going to be okay."

I looked up to his eyes and there were no lies in them.

"Edward I love you so much. I just..." I had to pause for the sobs to rip through my body for a moment. "I was so broken last night, not knowing if you were going to be okay."

"And you know I love you. I guess you were right when you told me to not drive to fast. I wanted to make the light before it turned red so I could get to you faster. Ha, I ripped through the intersection just as it his red and right then a drunk came from the other way, smashing into me. And you know what?"

I shook my head. "What?"

He smiled. "You were the only thing in my head. Even unconscious I only saw you, I kept praying that I would be able to see you just one more time. I cheated death for you."

My lip trembled as I pressed my face back down on him.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You look beautiful by the way. That dress is gorgeous."

I couldn't help but laugh at Edward's diversion.

* * *

The next couple days passed slowly. Edward was getting a little better day by day, but not enough to make me feel any better. Andrew had been calling me over and over, but I ignored the calls. This was more important.

By the fourth day Edward was moved out of ICU and into a normal room, another single by demand of Alice. We filled it with flowers and balloons and cheesy stuffed animals from the hospital gift shop downstairs. In this room they allowed you to stay over night if the patient gave the okay, so I happily spent every night sleeping on the couch.

It was in the middle of his second week when he was able to get up and walk around for a little bit each day. After one particular walk I stood in the doorway while he got back into bed and situated himself. He looked up and laughed when he saw me watching.

"Come here..."he said, patting the space next to him.

I looked at him hesitantly before laying down next to him. He placed the arm without the IV around me and kissed my forehead.

"The doctors said I can leave next week, but I can't do any hard work for like a month. Nothing too physical," he teased.

"Damn...there goes all my plans," I laughed.

It reminded me that I hadn't kissed him since the night before the crash. I sat up a little and looked at him.

"What?"

"What about something that's just a tiny bit physical?" I asked, running my fingers through his hair.

Edward eyed me carefully before smiling.

"What did you have in mind?"

I shrugged and then leaned down to kiss him, remembering how amazing it felt to have his lips on mine again.

"That was very nice," he whispered after a minute. I wasn't having that. "I'm not finished."

His lips curved up into my favorite crooked smile. "Oh well then, by all means do continue."

We kissed again and it seemed like a long time until we were interupted.

"Mr. Cullen?"

We both looked up and blushed. The nurse was standing in the doorway with a look of disapproval on her face.

"You have a visitor."

I started to get off the bed but Edward held me there firmly. Even in the hospital he was strong than me.

And then she walked in.

She was very tall and thin...every model's dream body. Her skin was flawless and pale with a glowing outside. She had wide, sparkling brown eyes and plump pink lips with strawberry blonde hair running in gentle waves down her back. There was no doubt in my mind who this was.

Tanya.

But that wasn't what had me staring. Because on her hip was a baby, maybe a year old. She was small and probably the cutest baby I've ever seen with her blonde wispy hair and angelic face. The only thing that made me gasp were her eyes. They were that same familiar sparkling emerald that I knew well. The shape and the long, dark lashes shadowing her face made my stomach drop.

No....

I turned to Edward and his face was expressionless. Then it was angry...then sad...then confused...then nothing. I noticed his arm tightened around me but his eyes stayed glued to those other brown eyes that weren't mine.

"Edward..." her voice was like bells. It sent shivers down my spine.

Minutes passed until he finally spoke.

"Tayna. What are you doing here?" his voice was tense.

Tanya looked at me and sadness flew across her eyes.

"I-I had to see you. I called your apartment and then I gave up and called Alice. She told me what happened so I came down here. I uhm, I've moved back to the city."

Edward's eyes were now glued on the baby.

"Her name is Susan," Tanya said, as if reading his mind.

He knew. I knew. We all knew.

I wanted to get up, leave. I couldn't take this. I wanted to scream...I wanted to throw something...why was this happening? I could leave. I was stone, Edward's arm was holding me there and I couldn't leave.

"Edward....I know you hate me...and I should have told you, but I couldn't. But now I have to, I can't keep this from you any longer."

Edward's voice was thick with malice.

"What are you trying to say." It was like he was daring her to say it.

She paused and looked at Susan.

"This is why I ran out on you. I found out I was pregnant....I couldn't face you so I left. I was so scared and then when I realized it wasn't so bad, it was already too late. But now...it's been killing me, you not knowing...but now you do."

I felt like I was going to throw up.

* * *

**Aha! It's out.......I bet NONE of you saw that coming........I've had this idea since I started the story......I hope you all enjoyed it.....and sorry if any of you actually crapped you pants, lol. Leave some serious commentage!**


	24. Rejected

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Were you all shocked? I'm so happy it's finally out...did you notice the forshadowing when Emmett and Edward were talking about her? Yep...all planned. You all think Tanya is a monster....but in the books Tanya wasn't ever a monster. We all wanted her to be because she had feelings for Edward, but I don't want to completely change a character because Tanya isn't a crazy selfish lady here. So don't be too disappointed when she's not this evil person...**

**Enjoy!!**

**Bella POV**

Edward pushed himself up into sitting position, biting his lip when putting pressure on his left arm hurt. I stood up and helped him the rest of the way.

"Thanks," he murmured, pulling me back onto the edge and squeezing my hand.

"She needs her father, Edward. I know it was wrong of me to keep this from you, but I didn't know what else to do..."

Edward looked at her skeptically. "What else to do? How about telling me? Did that ever occur to you?"

"God, I didn't know! I was scared! My life was so good and then this happened! You don't understand!"

I looked at the baby now. She was so small and innocent. There was no doubt she needed a father to love her and protect her.

"So you are expecting me to just take this child as my own? Dammit Tanya! Why are you telling me this now! Why now? Why when everything in my life is going so perfectly." he demanded.

She tightened her grip on Susan when Edward started yelling. I gave Edward a stern look for the baby had buried her face in Tanya's hair, hiding from him.

Tears slipped from her eyes. "Susan is a year old, Edward. I can't sit back and wonder who's going to teach her the things only a father can. She needs you! Look at her! This is your child!"

He snorted. "My child? You kept her from me. You left, Tanya. And you know what? I'm glad. I have Bella now and I'm in love with her. She's all I need."

A comment like that should have made me happy. It should have made me walk on water with glee, but it didn't. My stomach lurched each time he raised his voice and the baby hid her face. I'd never seen Edward so upset before.

She nodded. "I know, I wasn't expecting that but-"

He cut her off. "And what were you expecting? That I'd still be standing at that alter, waiting? Waiting for almost two years? I don't love you anymore Tanya."

"I'm not here for your love! I'm here so you can know that you have a daughter. I've made mistakes in my past and now I'm trying to fix them. I'm glad you've found someone, I really am, but this isn't about me. This is about Susan. I know the timing sucks, but babe, it is what it is. I'm not asking for you to give up everything to be a father. I'm asking you to accept her and just be with her! Get to know how amazing she is and how much like you she is. How she crinkles her nose when she's upset like you do or her eyes. There's not a day that goes by that I don't look at her eyes and think of you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay? Sure Susan was a mistake we _both_ made and sure it made things screwy, but I'm also eternally grateful. Susan brings so much joy to my life and I love her with all that I have. You told me once that the best things in life were unexpected," Tanya stated.

Edward's face changed when she said that. He stared long and hard at Susan who was now staring at Edward. Then he shook his head and squeezed my hand again.

"I think you should leave," he finally said.

Tanya's mouth gaped. "What?"

He was glaring again.

"I said leave. I don't want you here. I can't deal with this right now," he said.

The look on Tanya's face made me heart drop. I couldn't believe it. Edward had just rejected his own daughter.

"She's your child, Edward. How can you say that?"

"I said leave!"

I pulled my hand away. "Edward stop it!"

He ignored me and glared Tanya out of the room. She was gone and I still couldn't believe what I had just seen. I stood up and replayed everything in my mind.

"Bella, it's okay. I'm so sorry you had to see that." he apologized, reaching for my hand.

I looked at him incredulously. "You're sorry? Edward I'm sorry that _Tanya_ had to see that. I'm sorry that your _daughter_ was scared shitless of you!"

His eyes popped wide at the fact that I was yelling at him.

"Bella, what are you saying?"

I rolled my eyes. "What am I saying? I'm saying that you were being an ass to her! She was trying to mend things with you and you just yelled at her! I know Tanya broke your heart, but really? Was that necessary? You just found out you have a baby and you rejected her! What is wrong with you? This isn't you, Edward."

Edward was gritting his teeth now. I could tell he was trying very hard to not get mad at me.

"You don't understand, Bella." he whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I shook my head. "You're right, I don't understand. But I do understand that that's not how you should have handled the situation."

I turned on my heel and walked swiftly from the room with Edward calling my name. I kept walking until I found Tanya in the waiting room. Rosalie was there holding Susan and cooing at her with delight. I stopped and watched for a moment. Rosalie was so happy. She was going to make an amazing mom.

"Tanya," I called.

She turned around and walked hesitantly over.

"I just wanted to apologize for Edward. We both know that's not how he is and things have just been hard on him in the past little while. But I know that if you give him some time, he'll warm up to her. Edward's going to be a great father and I just wanted you to know it's not hopeless."

She looked at me in utter shock.

"You're sticking up for _me_?" Tanya asked.

I nodded.

Her eyes started to moisten up. "Wow, you're amazing. I mean I know Alice said you were the perfect match for him, but I never dreamed it was that exact. I mean the way he was looking at you when I walked in. He never looked at me that way. You're so great because if I were you and some physco walked in with my mans baby, I would not be happy about it."

I shrugged and tried not to blush.

"Thank you, so much," Tanya concluded.

I smiled and she turned to take back Susan and leave. I watched them walk away before making it back to Edward's room. I was surprised to see him standing up, he was weak and shakey, but he was up and tying on his robe.

"Edward? What are you doing up? You've already had your walk and you're not ready to take two walks yet," I cautioned, walking over to him.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly to his body.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I realize that I was a total jerk to her, and that was uncalled for."

My anger completely faded and I locked my arms around him. Edward always knew how to calm me down.

He pulled away and cupped my face in his hands.

"I love you and I was just concerned with what this would mean to us. I don't want things to change and I don't want you to feel weird suddenly or anything. What Tanya and I did is in the past and I don't want you to be worried about it," he said.

I nodded. "I know, and I'm okay with it. I love you too much to let stuff like that get in the way. Just promise me you'll talk to her. She's not trying to pull something here."

He agreed with me. "I know."

Then I got on my tip-toes and pressed my lips to his, losing all my breath in the first ten seconds.

* * *

That night I fell asleep on the couch in his room and slept soundlessly with no dreams. The day before had been so tiring that I slept like a baby. I woke up to voices and I peeked my eyes open, thinking it was Alice. When I saw it was Tanya with Susan, I snapped my lips shut and pretended to still be sleeping.

"So she talked to you too?" Tanya whispered, probably trying to not wake me up.

"Yeah. I'm sorry for yelling...and scaring her. I didn't realize."

"It's fine, Susan's alright, aren't you sweetie?" she cooed.

I heard a little baby giggle and would make anyone smile.

"It's amazing...."Edward breathed. "She's so tiny and soft. It's weird thinking that she's half mine."

Tanya laughed. "Technically she only has your eyes, but all your mannerisms are hers."

"Like what?"

"Well, the crinkling of the nose for one. I'm teaching her how to use a sippy cup now and she sticks her pinky out when she holds it, just like you."

"I don't do that!" Edward scuffed.

"Uh uh, sure. Ask anyone," Tanya challenged.

Susan squealed in delight suddenly.

"Oh shhh, don't wake her," Tanya whispered, as if Susan would understand.

It was silent for a moment and I got the eery feeling I was being watching.

"You really do love her, don't you?" Tanya finally asked.

There was a pause. What did that mean?

"Yeah, more than anything. I can't even begin to imagine life without her," Edward said. Every tone in his voice stated the truth. My heart melted.

"Do you think of marrying her?"

Another pause. I tried to keep my breathing even. This was the question I wanted to know.

"I think of it all the time. The first time I kissed her it was the only thing on my mind. I knew this was who I was going to marry," he replied.

My heartrate increased.

"When did you know?" I thought I detected some sadness in Tanya's voice.

"She was being attacked by this guy. And when I pulled him off and saw her there, it just hit me. I didn't understand it and then that night I watched over her...and that was when I realized it. I fought it for awhile, but I could keep away."

Now my breathing sped up. There was no way I looked like I was sleeping. Then I heard his chuckle.

"You can get up now," he teased.

I ignored him, but he kept on until I sat up and stretched.

"Morning," I yawned, trying to make it legit. Edward only laughed and patted the space next to him.

"You can never fool me. Did you like my answers?" he inquired.

I sat on the bed next to him and kissed him goodmorning.

"Yes, very much."

His lips curved into a smile. "Good."

I grinned in response and looked at Tanya. There was still sadness in her face. When she noticed me watching a fake smile appeared instead.

"You two are so adorable," she said.

I blushed and looked down, but that sadness just came back.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed that tense then happy then kind of tense chapter! Leave some rockin reviews please...or feedback, whichever! :)**


	25. Replaced

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Wowzza! The reviews were awesome! Thank you soooo much! Now of course things aren't going to be all peachy just like that. What kind of girl do you think I am? :) This is going to be such a short note! Wow!**

**Sorry this took awhile though, I've been having some nasty computer problems, haha, that's life for ya.**

**Enjoy!!**

**Bella POV**

After sitting there for a little bit and talking, I got the feeling that there were some unresolved issues at hand. I knew Edward wouldn't want me there, incase there was a blow up. So I got up and announced that I was going to the cafeteria to find Alice and have some breakfast.

I found Alice sitting there sipping her coffee daintily. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Good morning," she said as I sat down with my tray.

"Mhmmm..."

I stirred the oatmeal I got around carefully and taking slow bites. I wanted to rush so I could get back to Edward, but I also wanted to take my time. I didn't want to interupt them or walk in on them fighting.

"Pretty dramatic day, huh?" she said.

I sighed and looked up at her.

"Why is this happening? Things were going so perfectly and one disaster has just been happening after the other! I told Edward I was okay with this, but now I don't know. It's weird and this morning he seemed so happy and peaceful. Yesterday he this pissed off grudge man. I don't understand it!" I babbled. The complaints just flowed out and if Alice hadn't cut me off, they would have kept coming.

"Whoa whoa, hold on there!" Alice said, holding her hands up like she was stopping traffic. I stopped and took a breath, letting the blood rush back to my face. "Maybe you should just let this go. I mean, Tanya's not really a monster like we've made her out to be. I'm sure she doesn't want Edward anymore or anything so let's just calm down and let it be."

I couldn't belive this. What was she saying?

"But Alice-"

She stopped me again. "No! I don't want to hear it. Now I'm sure they're done talking so you just get your butt back in that room and smile. Edward needs a happy Bella so he can recover faster because Emmett wants you back at work on Monday night."

I stood up and tossed my uneaten breakfast.

"I'll see ya later."

I grudgingly made my way back to my room and stopped outside his door. I peeked around so that I could see them but they couldn't see me.

"Do you want to hold her?" Tanya asked.

Edward's eyes were shining, sparkling you could say. I had to admit that they way his face lit up even made me smile. He nodded and held out his arms, unsure at first, but once Tanya placed baby Susan he was confident and happy. Susan squirmed a little at first, frightening him, but then as he cradled her she snuggled into his chest and looked up at his face and...smiled.

His face was that of an angel's when he returned that long, loving gaze. He looked like a real father when he got to see his baby for the first time. My smiled disappeared when I saw that look. That was _my_ look. That was the look he always gave me and it felt like rejection. It was insane to be feeling this way, like I had been replaced, but that's what it felt like.

"She's so beautiful," Edward murmured, mesmerized. Tanya smiled and tickled Susan's little foot. Her toes spanned out and she giggled, burrowing further into her father's arms.

He looked up at her and I noticed that his eyes were pooling up with tears.

"Thank you, Tanya. I know it might not have seemed it, but I'm really glad you finally told me. It's just like all the sudden she has this hold me," he said, almost disbelieving.

"She's going to so be daddy's little girl," Tanya teased.

Edward laughed but his eyes stayed fixed on the baby's.

I couldn't handle that anymore. I stepped in the room and cleared my throat. He didn't even look up. I tried again and startled him.

"Oh, Bella! Hey," he whispered as if Susan were sleeping.

"Hey uhm, I'm just going to go home and take a shower and change, but I'll be back soon."

I left before he could answer and booked it down the hall. I was so preoccupied with my thought that I didn't notice Rosalie until she grabbed my arm.

"Bella!"

I jumped and met her eyes.

"Oh, Rosalie, sorry."

She held a look of concern.

"Are you okay? You look like you're going to cry," she said, rubbing my shoulder.

I shrugged her hand off. "Nope, I'm fine. I'll be back later."

I brushed past her and hurried away from the hospital.

* * *

I stepped in the hot shower right when the tears started. At first I washed my hair and body vigorously, to the point where the loofah was scratching my skin and stung. I spiked it to the bottom of the shower and stood there, motionless. The steam swirled around me so I could barely see two feet in front of me. The water pounded hard on my back, relaxing my stiff muscles. I don't know how long I was in there, but my skin was bright red and pruned by the time I stepped out, a mountain of steam tumbling down after me.

I dried off and stared at my closet for ten minutes. I needed the perfect outfit, maybe Edward would notice me. Again the feelings of jealousy started and I turned around and faced the other side of my closet, the side filled with clothes Alice had either bought for me or made me buy. I scanned the rack and then slid on a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans. I put on the black lacey bra Alice insisted on and started to grab my black tank when I changed my mind. Edward would like it better if I had no shirt on under the _almost_see-through chiffon shirt I was wearing. It was a light gray (would Alice said would compliment my fair skin) and elegant. The sleeves were 3/4 lentgh and the edges pleaded a little bit. At the top was a tie which I tied in a bow. **(picture in profile)**Satisfied with my look, I slid on my silver flats and hurried to the bathroom.

I then dabbed on some mascara and ran my fingers through my hair with a little product to volumize it. The finishing look was a wild, sexy hair style that Alice would no doubt be proud of.

* * *

When I arrived at Edward's door I was surprised to hear it was really quite. I tip-toed in, incase he was sleeping, but he was sitting up. Susan was still still cuddled in his arms, asleep. He was staring down at her with that same loving look. In that moment all my confidence blew away and I walked all the way in. At least he heard me this time.

"Wow...Bella, you look gorgeous! I-I, I mean you always look gorgeous, but you're all dressed up," he said, eyes popping.

I blushed hard and bit down on my lip. "Just felt like getting ready for once I guess."

I had to admit his reaction heightened my spirits exponentially. But his movement caused Susan to wiggle around and he immediately turned all attentions to her. She just turned and fell back asleep. I sighed and clomped over to the couch and plopped down.

My arms were folded tightly across my chest and I blew a strand of hair away that fell in my eye. It might have been ten minutes before Edward noticed.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

I tried to act all casual, but it was too hard.

"Nothing, just nothing." I exagerated the last 'nothing'. He picked up on it.

"Come here," he said.

I didn't move. We stared each other down and for once, I won. He looked almost ashamed.

"Look, I know how this seems, but you know you're my number one girl, _always_," he said.

My heart melted a little bit.

His eyes were kind and gentle. "A lot of things have changed, but not us. It's going to be hard, but we can get through this. I've just got to be there for her now." He nodded towards Susan. "It's like, now that I have her here in my arms, I'm attatched."

He shifted her into one arm and patted the spot next to him. I hesitated for awhile, but I couldn't resist. I got up and sat down next to him where he then slid his free arm around my waist.

"It's you and me, alright? You heard this morning what I said."

"I know. I guess I was a little jealous," I admitted, blushing again.

He smiled. "I love it when you blush."

I buried my face into his chest and he kissed my hair.

"Where's Tanya anyway?" I asked, looking up.

"She went to lunch with Rosalie. Baby talk, or whatever."

Then he got a look in his eye. I knew that look. I braced myself for what came next. His soft lips touched mine for a moment, and then pushed in harder. I kissed him back with every inch of my heart and then prepared myself for the dreadful minute he'd pull back. But he didn't. Instead he deepened the kiss and soon our tongues danced together. He barely noticed when Susan wormed around into a new position. The kiss was full of passion, so much passion that I missed it and thought it would physically hurt to pull away.

Someone cleared their throat and we both jumped, looking over. Rose and Tanya stood in the doorway with sly looks on their faces.

"Geez, I leave you alone for an hour and you corrupt our child!" Tanya said with fake anger.

Edward handed her the baby and then proceeded to wrap that arm around me too.

"Well, I'm going to go now. But, I'll stop by tomorrow? Okay?"

He smiled and watched her leave with Rosalie.

"Finally," he murmured.

I was about to question his motives when he suddenly turned and took over my whole mouth, enveloping it with his sweet taste. This was my kind of heaven.

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** I know, that was a little short! I'm sorry.....but I still hope you liked it! Review review review!! :)**


	26. Reality Show In Print

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Hey everyone! Just a little update, I changed the summary. Do you like it better than the old one? I think it will attract more readers, hopefully! But I already have the best readers ever, so I don't know how it could get any better!**

**The reveiws were super fantastic as usual!! I couldn't expect more from you all! This chapter might be a little slow, it's more of a filler to lead into the next thing on Bella's agenda.....she's got some big things headed her way, haha! And in case you all wanted to know, it's about the middle of March in this story, just so you know. That means Rosalie's baby is due soon...in July! Remember that....it's important, but that's a ways away. **

**So enjoy! :)**

**Bella POV**

The rest of the week passed by somewhat slowly. Each day Edward was taken off one of his machines until he was down to a heart moniter and IV. Each day Tanya came for a couple of hours to let Edward play with Susan and each day I was even more bitter. Tanya always tried talking to me and being sweet, but I was still jealous. I liked that Edward had bonded so quickly with Susan and I even liked Susan, but Tanya just didn't click on my friendship radar. How could I be friends with Edward's ex-fiance? A fiance he had sex with numerous times and produced this child that was slowly replacing me for three hours everyday? I was finally admitting that I was jealous of how close he had gotten with Tanya...and how much I wished we could be that close.

On Saturday he was discharged him and I drove him home in his newly restored volvo that Alice sent over. It killed him the whole way with me driving exactly the speed limits. I could just tell he was itching to grab the wheel and peel down the busy road.

When we got to his place, I got him settled, said goodbye, and then headed right to the office. I called Andrew the day before and after yelling at me for not returning a call in two weeks, he said I had to come in the next day.

* * *

The office was the same as usual. I stopped by Angela's cubicle and chatted with her for awhile. I had missed a lot in the progressing months. She was engaged to her boyfriend Ben and had moved in with him. I felt a little bad for not emailing her as often as I promised and decided to have lunch with her after my meeting.

Then I headed into Andrew's office. He was...well, pissed. I took a seat and smiled.

"Two weeks, Bella. Do you _want_ to get fired?"

I scratched my neck nervously. "Sorry, a bunch has been going on. I didn't have time."

Andrew's eyes shined with the hope of gossip. "What has been going on?"

I pulled out my extra-long write up for the week and handed it to him before sitting back and folding my arms. He snatched the papers and buried his nose in them immediately.

He read the whole thing and then re-read it. I was biting my lip as his eyes keep getting wider until he finally put the papers down.

"Oh shit. This is-"

"Awful! I know!" I cried.

"Amazing!" he exclaimed.

I looked him over carefully. Was he thinking right? How was this amazing?

"What? How can you think that! My life is going downhill with this!"

Andrew rolled his eyes. "This just raised the bar! I mean, this life you've got going here is so extreme, I mean even writers can't come up with this! Do you have any idea how interested people will be to read this every Sunday? Our stock will skyrocket! This is reality show in print Bella."

I shook my head and grabbed the papers back, crumpling them up and tossing them.

"I don't care! This isn't a happy moment for me Andrew! My boyfriend just got out of the hospital, with a baby! I don't feel like rejoicing at the moment, okay?" I yelled.

He completely ignored my rage. "So I was thinking, after the reviews come in for this and you get your own column, I know what you can write about. Your life with Edward! I mean, this drama is so good! And it won't be secretive, it'll be out and open and I'm sure Eddie will be fine with that, don't you?"

I stared at him dumbfoundedly.

"Are you kidding me? Seriously?"

Andrew didn't falter. I sighed and stood up.

"See ya next week," I mumbled as I walked out.

"Don't forget to think about it!" he called after me.

* * *

When I got home there was a message from Edward saying he loved me and he wanted me to come over that night. I smiled and then continued my rage by throwing my shoes against the wall. I then screamed so loud that it took me a few seconds to realize the phone was ringing. I answered it hastily.

"What!" I demanded, cooling off.

"Whoa, Bells, what's wrong?"

Charlie!

I regained my composure.

"Hi dad! Sorry, just got back from my annoying boss," I apologized.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry."

"So why are you calling? Is everyone okay? What's going on?" I asked, thinking the worst. Charlie hadn't called in a month.

"Do I need a reason to talk to my favortie daughter?" it was followed by a chuckle. It warmed my heart to hear him laugh.

"No, I guess not."

"Well, there was a reason. I was thinking about visiting you soon."

"Really? When?"

"Oh, like next week?"

I thought ahead and it was a clear week. Edward should be fine by then and I really wanted to introduce him to Charlie. Ever since I told Charlie about him he's been wanting to meet Edward.

"That sounds great, actually. You can finally meet Edward!" I said.

"Good, I've been wanting to. But I've got to go so I'll talk to you later about details."

"Okay, and I love you."

This seemed to changed Charlie's voice slightly.

"Ya, I love you too Bells. Take care."

I smiled as I hung up the phone. At least I had something to look forward to next week.

* * *

**I know....this is soooooo short, but as I said before it's kind of a next chapter will pick right back up though. **


	27. Hungry 4 You

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**I know this took me extra long and I usually write at like midnight on the weekends when I get home from hangin out and stuff. I find that I get tons of inspiration at nighttime, it's like the possibilities are almost endless, which in my world they are!**

**So I'm super sorry this took so long, I've had a lot on my plate lately but hey! I only have about 16 days of school left! YAY! That means hopefully more writing time, which I'm stoked for. I miss writing as often as I used to. I need to keep my creative juices flowing! Plus, I had this seriously intense, scary world-ending dream last night that would make an AMAZING story...not twilight material, but still. :p**

**Anyways, enough about me...let's step into the world of twilight shall we...**

**_Warning: Serious Bella/Edward Passion Going Down...;)_**

**I also hope you're all looking at the picture that go with the chapters in my profile!**

**Bella POV**

That night I found myself even more high-strung than usual. Maybe it was with the fact that my boss wanted me to write about my personal life with Edward full time. Or maybe it was the thought that my father was going to be in town next week. Maybe it was Rosalie's pregnancy which she called me about two hours every day to chat about the new things happening, like how happy she was to have morning sickness, yes, she was happy about _that_.

No...that wasn't it. I arrived at Edward's with relatively good spirits. I thought we'd have a nice night. Sitting around his fire sipping white wine and listening to his latest piano compositions he wrote for me. So when I walked in the door to see boxes piled everywhere, I took off my coat warily and called out through the ginormous apartment for him.

"Edward?" I asked, looking over the boxes. They were all empty. I continued through the foyer down the hall and upstairs where the bedrooms were. I stopped at the last door and peeked in. It was large room, and I mean _large_. And it was not empty like usual. It was painted pink, a happy girly pink. Along the walls were dressers, changing station, closet, a crib, a toy box, a coloring table, and huge doll house. There was a freakin chandelier on the ceiling! **(picture in profile) **

"Edward?" I asked again. I finally saw him carefully arranged an array of pastel colored stuffed animals on a shelf.

"Edward! What is all this?" I asked, rubbing my hand over the rocking chair which was stuffed and covered in pink silk.

He turned around and then smiled.

"Bella! I didn't even hear you, I'm sorry," he apologized.

I ignored it and walked to the large window which I now realized was a door. I opened it and walked out onto a small patio. I forgot this was a penthouse because when I looked over and stepped back, afraid I might fall over the four-foot tall edge. I took a breath before walking back inside.

"How did you get this all done in under a few hours?" I asked, taking in the pure extravagance of the room.

"Alice had been doing it, actually. But I just finished up what she hadn't. It's pretty amazing, huh? She said she can't wait until Susan grows up so she can redecorate it again, preferably every 5 years."

I shifted my weight from foot to foot awkwardly. "So this whole Susan thing is permanent, then?"

He nodded. "It's not official, we haven't worked out the details, but Tanya said we can work out some visitation scheduling."

The room was perfect, in fact it was how I always imagined my daughters room might be, if I were to have one and if I had more money than God like Edward. It made me sad in a way. Even jealous. I wanted it to be _our_ daughter he was doing this for. The little baby that would be just ours, but she wasn't. I was no longer his one and only. I was going to share the spotlight now, and I wasn't sure how I felt. He told me things wouldn't change and I tried getting over this anger and jealously, but every little thing was bringing it all back. There was no escaping it.

"Bella? Are you okay? Here, let's go down and eat something."

He moved slower, getting used to being on his feet all day, but still managed to help me downstairs and into his extra-large kitchen.

"My dad is coming next week," I said suddenly as I hopped onto the island. "He wants to meet you."

Edward turned to face me and smiled.

"Really?"

I nodded in response and started to nibble on a carrot he set out.

"Well, that's good. I need to meet your father. I'm actually looking forward to it."

I scratched my neck uneasily. "Yeah?"

Edward stopped what he was doing and came over to wrap his arm around me.

"Of course. We're getting pretty serious now, don't you think?"

I smiled and kissed him quickly. "I love you."

He smiled too and went in for a kiss, but I hastily pushed the carrot in his mouth so he was forced to take a bite. His eyes darkened and he spit the carrot out like a wild cat.

"Isabella...that wasn't very nice of you..."

Did he just purr?

He pushed his body forward so that my back was now touching the cool granite of the counter top and he was flat on top of me.

"Are you purring?" I asked with a giggle.

His eyes were now like liquid onyx. "Maybe."

I ran my fingers through his hair. "It's kind of sexy."

He chuckled at that. "Good."

He then proceeded to kiss in one of the most passionate ways possible. And let me tell you I was enjoying myself quite extensively. My hands wandered up his shirt, pulling it free and then digging into his back when he pushed our bodies completely on top of the island. The blood was boiling under my skin and knots tangled in my stomach. I had never felt so alive before. Goosebumps shot up my arms when he slowly started lifting my shirt up and I didn't even realize it was off and tossed on the floor until I felt his cool breath above my belly button. Then he sat up, still straddling me. His eyes were back to that liquid topaz, but they were different. They were hungry. It was then that I knew. It was finally going to happen.

Not wanting to speak and ruin the moment, I sat up a little and kissed right where his neck met his chest. I moved slowly downwards, trailing butterfly kisses. I was letting him know it was okay. When I reached his belly button and gave it a quick swipe of my tongue before heading back up. It only took him 3 seconds to scoop me up in his arms bridal style and start for his bedroom. Our lips were locked the entire journey there. I thanked god the master bedroom was on the first floor because I don't think I could have lasted the way up.

He gently set me on the bed but I wasn't having that. I sat right back up placed my hands on his belt buckle. And I don't know why of all things this ran through my mind, but I suddenly got worried. The doctor said no intense physical activity. Was this okay?

"Edward, are you okay enough for this?" I whispered hoarsely, praying he was. I would be in serious pain if he wasn't. All he did was pull me up and hug me tight.

"I'll be damned if I'm not." And that was okay enough for me. I trailed my kisses all around his chest and with shaky hands undid his belt. The nerves were getting to me now and it took all my control to not just jump him right then and there. I yanked the belt off and heard it crack like a whip before tossing it against the wall in haste. He then lay me down and we rolled around in the bed and it wasn't long before each layer of clothing was peeled off and tossed. Our naked bodies were pressed together and we kissed so passionately that it felt illegal. Every fear and nerve faded away as I looked up into his sparkling eyes. I gasped in pain at first, digging my nails hard into his back, but he didn't seem to mind. I wasn't expecting it to feel that way but I ignored it, finally understanding everything I've ever heard. This truly was a natural ecstasy of it's own.

* * *

I didn't know what time it was, but it felt like hours had passed. I was sore and exhausted, but more happy than I'd been in months. After the third time we both fell asleep. We were as close as possible and Edward kept a tight hold around me and I soon snuggled into his chest, closing my eyes. But now I was wide awake...and starving. I twisted away and propped my head up with my arm. He was so beautiful and content when he slept. Almost like an angel. The tangled sheets were all down around our legs so I could see the perfect contours of his abs, each one sculpted to perfection. It almost hurt to look.

Edward must have sensed me staring because he smiled and grabbed my hand.

"I'm hungry."

He chuckled and blinked a few times until his eyes adjusted on my face.

"Do you want some coffee?" I asked.

He nodded and sat up a little bit. I crawled from the bed and started for the door, deciding to not put anything on but I changed my mind at the last minute. So I grabbed his button down and slipped it on. It barely covered my butt and smelled just like him, which I liked. I tip-toed into the kitchen and started the coffee. Then I searched around and pulled out all the sweets I could find and piled them on a tray.

I hurried back to the room and set the food on the bed. Just as I was climbing in Edward gave me a look of disapproval.

"What?"

"This is a no clothing bed," he said in mock anger.

"Oh," I said with a teasing smile. I quickly nixed the shirt and jumped back under the warm covers and cuddled close to him.

* * *

Later that night when Edward was in the shower I decided to call Alice. I hadn't seen her in two days and I knew she would want to be the first to know about this. So when I told her all I heard was screaming for two minutes straight.

"Alice, will you stop shrieking!" Jasper yelled in the background.

It took another three minutes after that for her to calm her breathing down to human pace. I had no idea she would be _that_ excited for me.

"Of course I'm that excited! We're going to be sisters one day! I just know it! OH! You have to let me plan your wedding!" she gushed.

Then she started going 50 miles an hour at a wedding that would put her future one to shame, and I knew that would say a lot.

"Alice, Alice. Calm down, we're not even engaged! We only slept together! Stop thinking too far up," I warned, scared what the future held.

"Oh but Bella, I just know you two will get married. I mean, he waited what, almost 5 months for you? That's a big deal. The longest he ever waited for every other girlfriend was like 2 weeks and with Tanya it was 2 days. He loves you, he tries so hard so make everything special."

I knew that last little bit should have made me happy, but what she first about the whole 2 weeks and 2 days thing caught me off guard. I never really realized how experienced Edward was. I mean, I knew, but I never really thought about it.

"Bella? Are you listening to me?"

The shower shut off and I heard the glass door sliding open.

"I've got to go! I'll talk to you tomorrow or something."

I hung up just in time for Edward to walk out with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist with water dropplets falling on his skin and dripping from his hair.

"Aren't you going to dry off?" I asked, standing up.

He laughed. "Towels are gone, but you're nice and dry. Why don't you help me?"

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me against his wet skin and I melted into his arms. I felt his mouth on my ear and used all my will to not jump him.

"I love you," we whispered at the same time.

* * *

**I know what you're saying! Hallelujah! It finally happened. I left it pretty much open to your imagination because I know we all have our own ideas about what went on, so have fun with it! Reviews are greatly appreciated! Sorry this took so long, I wanted it to be perfect!**


	28. Physically Drawn

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Yes, I know this took almost like TWO weeks and I am so sorry! I've just been caught up with end of school projects and presentations and just life, basically, transitioning to summer mode, haha. I promise that once school is out (just like a couple more days!) there will be more chapters up!!!**

**So...to keep this short, I'm glad you all loved the last chapter and I hope you enjoy the next!!**

**Bella POV**

To sum it up, this was a long night. After the drink crowd died down a little bit and people took to dancing, I sat around at my bar post and sighed with boredom. I chugged the rest of my third apple martini and then checked my face in the mirror again. God, I'd been hanging around Alice way too much.

I started to make another drink to hold myself over for the next two hours and watched Alice dance herself around the club. She'd make her usual rounds, asking around how people were and then each night picked a special couple that looked especially happy and told them all their drinks were on the house. Then she'd go in the back and do some "work" with Jasper and then came back out to dance and drink her little heart out. She led a charmed life.

Then on the other hand there was Rosalie. She nixed out all alcohol and anything with more than 30 percent calories from fat. She only danced when there wasn't a mosh on the dance floor and spent most of the time in the VIP lounge or on the bar with me. I glanced over at her and she was staring at her reflection in the mirror behind me. Now that she was inching towards her 6th month and showing ever so slightly, she was ecstatic. Always rubbing her belly or cupping it gently. Most pregnant women were bitter and angry, but not Rosalie. She was all smiles and happy. She'd already pimped her nursery with Alice and gotten everything set. Her house had been child-proofed since the first month she found out. I never thought Rosalie could care about anyone more than herself. This baby was going to be spoiled rotten: the carbon copy of Rosalie herself.

I gave up and then sighed while sipping my drink. Alice emerged from the mosh and danced over to me.

"Hey! Why the bum face?" she asked, slipping behind the bar to mix a drink.

"Nothing, just want to get out of here."

"Oh, I see. You just want to go screw my brother, correct?"

I shot her a nasty look and she backtracked.

"I'm just saying, ever since, well, ya know, you and Edward have been kind of physically drawn together. I mean, not like you weren't before, but now you're like all over him in public and always sneaking off. Don't think I don't know what you're doing during your breaks, I invented that missy!"

Now I just glared at her. That was so not true!

"I have no idea what you are talking about. Edward and I have a very deep relationship that we express in terms of romantic means," I said matter-of-factly.

She looked at me like I just explained the scientific theory in one minute flat.

"Uh huh...so why all the screaming in the office last night?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, just daring me to say it.

"I saw a spider!"

God, what a stupid escuse.

Alice just rolled her eyes and sipped her drink.

"Where is my brother anyway? Isn't he usually groping you by this time?"

I didn't feel like making up some excuse again so I quit the funny business.

"He's got Susan tonight. Tanya has a date or something. God, I always feel like I have to compete with her!"

"Bella, you have a cute little baby in your life now. Embrace it," Rosalie said, moving closer to us.

Alice gave her a not-helping look. "What she's trying to say, Bella, is that life is how it is. Maybe there is no competition, you're just making one for yourself. I don't think Edward sees this as a choice between you two. I think you should just accept it like you're always saying and move on."

"Move on? You don't understand this, Alice! One day things are perfect and now they went to shit! I can't take it. Do you know how many times Edward has ditched me to go watch her? Like, five I can think of!"

"Oh my god! Will you just shut up Bella? You're so whiney all the time, and I'm telling you this as a friend, but really, get over it. It's not like you can do anything about it and I'm willing to bet this is also about something else you've got in your life right now."

Alice and I both turned to Rosalie. Did she really just say that? I mean, that's was something the old Rosalie would say, but not the new one.

"Excuse me?" I said in disbelief.

She shrugged. "You heard me. All your complaining is giving the baby spasms and they are kicking like crazy."

She hoisted herself up and headed into the office.

"She's right," Alice murmured before dancing away.

And she was right. I was more worried that my dad was coming tomorrow. How would I explain this to him? How could I expect him to keep my biggest secret? Maybe this was all a mistake.

* * *

Later that night I was wormed as close as possible to Edward's side. His arms were wound around me and his soft fingers gently caressed my bare lower back.

"So what time are you getting your dad tomorrow?" he whispered, pressing his face into my hair.

"Around two, are you cooking or will you still have Susan?"

"Nope, Tanya's coming in the morning so I will prepare a feast for us all."

He kissed my hair and then started moving down my face.

"Aren't you nervous about meeting my dad?"

He chuckled and it sent shivers down my back.

"Why would I?"

I shrugged and slid half on top of him.

"No reason, just checking. But you know...you can't stay over why he's here," I warned him.

Edward looked at me in shock.

"What? Well, what are we supposed to do?"

I laughed and nuzzled into his neck.

"Get in as much as we can."

"Amen."

He flipped me over and started to kiss along my jawbone when the baby monitor started to crackle which meant there was an incoming besides light breathing. It started as a cooing sound that turned into skrieking cries. Weren't babies supposed to sleep through the night at this point?

He sighed and got off but I quickly jumped up.

"I'll get it, don't worry."

I slid my robe on and hurried up the steps into her nursery. As soon as the door opened Susan was standing up to the best of her ability and holding onto the top to crib. There were no tears or screams, just her curious face watching me. Edward and I discovered she liked attention. So when she woke up she wanted us to hold her until she fell asleep. We confirmed this with Tanya. And this didn't just happen at bedtime. Susan would be perfectly content playing on the floor but when she decided she was bored she would scream and cry and right when we got there she would stop and we would have to entertain her. I guessed this was much how Rosalie spent her baby years.

So I padded over and scooped Susan into my arms and sat in the rocking chair. She really wasn't all that bad. Besides the attention fits, she was the ideal baby. I craddled her tightly until she closed her eyes and pressed her face into my chest. I rocked her back and forth, making sure she was asleep, before setting her back into her crib and heading back downstairs. Edward was sleeping by this point so I just crawled in next to him.

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**Yes I know, short chapter! But it's just an intro to DAD MANIA! Haha...enjoy and get ready for Hurricane Charlie to sweep thourgh....**


	29. Here Comes Charlie

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Thanks for the great support you all have been giving me. I've been asked to give hints and answer questions about the future...but I'm not going to! Ha ha! You just have to wait, anything I say will spoil my perfect ending!**

**But I'm curious...how do you all think it's going to end? I'd like to know?**

**And....since school is now OVER!!! I'm going on vacation in a few days for about two weeks so that means no updates because I won't have computer access! So this is the last chapter until probably the beginning of July, so soak it up! I hope you enjoy!!!**

**Bella POV**

As the first rays of dawn spread through the window and hit me in the eye, dread filled my stomach.

Charlie.

He was coming this afternoon and I still didn't have a logical plan about the whole bar/paper fiasco. While the rest of the morning broke the horizon and Edward slept, my eyes stayed wide open thinking of my speech. Butterflies filled my insides as the alarm went off. Edward kissed my forehead before heading into the shower and I slipped on my robe and walked upstairs. I could hear Susan mumbling incoherent gibberish through the baby monitor and if someone didn't get her she'd start screaming.

I walked inside and saw her standing up, waiting patiently.

"Morning Susan," I said, opening the curtains and noticing she was watching me carefully. I picked her up and changed her diaper quickly before carrying her downstairs while she yanked on my long hair.

The timer on the coffee pot went off as I set her down in the high chair and grabbed a banana and some cheerios. I spread a handful on the highchair table along with some cut up bananas before pouring myself some coffee.

I sat down on the bar stool next to Susan and sighed, wondering how bad this week would be.

I jumped when she started screaming at me and noticed all her food was gone. I poured some more cheerios and banana slices for her and watched her butcher them. Unlike a normal human would do by using your fingers, Susan preferred to smash the banana in her hand and catch it like a bug before smooshing it into her mouth. When that was all gone she screamed at me again until I poured her more.

"What are you doing to her?" Edward teased, emerging from his room.

"Your daughter is so high-maintenance, it's not funny."

He came behind me and kissed my forehead before picking Susan up and spinning her around.

"She is her mother's child."

Susan squealed with delight as Edward carried her around with him. It was moments like these when my jealously disappeared and I smiled at him with her. She loved him right away, that was for sure.

* * *

The morning dragged on with Susan crawling around the house screaming everytime she lost sight of us or we weren't following her and letting her point stuff out to us. When the doorbell rang it was like she knew because she started point towards the door and screaming like crazy. I picked her up while Edward let Tanya in. Susan's little arms stretched out to her mother and she let out another high-pitched wail.

"I'm coming baby!" Tanya said with her sweet little baby-voice. She scooped the baby from my arms and hugged her close.

"Thanks again for doing this on such short notice!"

"No problem, we enjoy it. Don't we Bella?"

I put on my fake smile and nodded. "Of course, she's an angel."

Tanya smiled and picked up the bag she left us with before hurrying out. The door shut and I sighed contently at the silence.

"I'd better go get ready to pick up Charlie," I said.

Edward grabbed my arm and pulled me against him.

"Hey now, you have hours and I believe we have something to finish from last night...?"

I laughed and let his lips roam my neck before he carried me back into his bedroom.

* * *

The airport was crowded, as usual. I parked in the over-crowed parking garage and went to wait at the luggage claim. All around me families ran to one another and hugged or lovers made out in plain sight. There was a group waiting with flags and balloons, welcoming home a soldier from war. I almost felt bad, dreading Charlie to come here and visit when I could see him whenever I wanted when those people had no choice. That is, I _almost_ did.

When I saw Charlie walking towards me past security with that big smile on his face, guilt clouded my mind. He came up and hugged me breathless.

"Oh Bells, I've missed you so much," he whispered into my ear.

We broke off and I was surprised that he showed so much affection towards me. I guess he really did miss me.

We walked with our arms around each other to get his one small bag before heading to the car, which was really Edward's shiney, silver volvo. He looked surprised but with all I've told him about Edward he didn't ask.

The trip home was silent. On my way to get Charlie I dropped Edward off at my place to clean up a little bit and took his car.

"So when do I get to meet this boyfriend of yours? The one you never stop talking about on the phone," Charlie finally asked.

I kept my eyes straight ahead.

"He's actually at my place waiting so we can have a nice dinner together."

I could tell his expression, but I knew he was probably excited to have some of my cooking again.

"Listen, dad, about that, there's something I have to tell you."

I let my eyes wander to his. He was listening intently.

"Uhm, you see this thing with Edward is rather complicated. I mean, I do love him more than anything, but he doesn't know I'm a reporter."

I could tell Charlie was confused and I was jumbling my words together.

"Okay, the truth is I'm an undercover reporter at the bar his family owns and that's how I met him and my story is on him and his family and he can't know that I work at the paper. He thinks I just work at the bar and that's it. I haven't told him yet, but I swear I plan to because I love him so much and it would be great if you could keep my secret."

There, I said it.

I cautiously glanced at Charlie. He was still soaking it all in. But he surprised me with what he said next.

"Okay then. I will."

I was incredulous. "Really?"

He nodded. "Sure. I can tell that you really love him and it's your life, not mine. I just hope you know what you're doing Bells. I mean, this could turn into a messy situation."

A sigh escaped my lips as we pulled into the parking garage.

"I know. I'm constantly worried sick about it, but right now all that matters is that he doesn't find out and that you like him."

He got out of the car and straightened his belt like a true police chief would.

"We'll see."

And then we started inside.

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**HA! You have to wait until I get back for the rest! Enjoy you're time to speculate the future! I'll be back soon!!! Reviews are much appreciated!**


	30. Billionaire

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Good news! I'm home! And with my new arrival many ideas have sparked up in my head! I love that you all reviewed for me and I hope you've all been patiently awaiting this...or not so patiently....whichever works!! Anyways...no more delays! Here it comes!**

**Bella POV**

Charlie and I made it to the elevator in silence. Once he offered to carry his small suitcase but I just tightened my grip. Holding it made me concentrate so I wouldn't have a breakdown. When the doors closed he cleared his throat, but nothing came out. I ignored it until he did it again.

"So uhm....saw Jacob the other day. He's home from college, graduated last week."

I sighed. Why did he _always_ bring up Jacob? I felt guilty instantly, Jacob is my best friend. But in Charlie's eyes we were "meant to be".

"Oh, that's great. I uh, didn't get an announcement or anything."

Charlie scratched under his nose, right on his moustache. He did that whenever he was thinking of small talk.

"Yep, he looks per-etty darn good now," Charlie said, nudging my arm.

"Dad!" I whined.

He sighed. "Just sayin," he murmured.

Luckily we had made it down the hall to my door and I managed to get it unlocked.

"Hello!" I called. "We're here!"

And right then Edward turned the corner from the kitchen and smiled. God he was beautiful.

I tore my eyes off his face and to Charlie's. I assessed his scrutiny as he gave Edward the once over.

After Charlie's appraising eyes left Edward I walked to his side and let his arms worm around me.

"Dad, this is Edward. Edward, this is my father."

Edward held his hand out.

"Chief Swan."

Charlie grunted, but shook it anyway.

"What uh, what happened to your face there son?" Charlie asked.

I could have died with embarrassment. But Edward chuckled.

"Oh, got in a car accident a few weeks back."

I could tell just by his eyes that Charlie already saw him as a terrible driving hazard. I shot Charlie the death glare and his features softened...a little.

"So, Edward, I hear your family owns a bar?"

I jumped in quickly.

"Oh no, his brother owns it, and it's also a nightclub. The most popular in Seattle actually. Edward owns his own corporation. He took over after his parents passed away five years ago."

I saw Edward blush slightly. Always the modest one.

"Hmm, impressive. What's it called?"

Edward spoke up this time. "It was Mason Industries in the early years after my father's mother's maiden name, but later he changed it to Cullen Global Corps., or _CGC_ as you might know it as."

I heard Charlie's breath whistle out of his mouth. Obviously was very impressed. I winced, waiting for his words.

"You're saying that you own CGC?" Charlie breathed.

How did he know this? I had no idea what CGC was until Edward told me about it.

Edward nodded modestly. "Yes sir."

What Charlie said next surprised us both.

"Well _damn_! That's just...wow! You were in _Forbes Magazine_ last year as the worlds upcoming billionaire! You were in _Time_as the modest money guy! Geez, I never put two and two together! Bella always said Edward, but never added the Cullen to it, let alone Edward Anthony Mason Cullen! Bella!"

I was just as shocked too! I knew Edward was wealthy, but a billionaire? He never told me that! He never told me about the magazines and articles! I mean, I should have guessed. He told me he had vacation homes in Italy, Hawaii, Utah, London, and some small island his dad owned. I saw his car garage with was filled with an Aston Martin and at least five other rare sports cars like Lamborginis and Ferraris. He and the rest of his family wore the most expensive designer labels out there, even the foreign ones I'd never heard of. He always tipped people hundreds and practically tossed his money, but still! I swear I could have passed out.

I looked at Edward. He looked slightly uncomfortable and red.

"Uhm...that's me," he murmured.

I could sense that he didn't like talking about his families money so I changed the subject.

"So, dad...are you hungry?"

Charlie blinked and then thought about what I said.

"Oh, yes! Let's eat!"

* * *

The dinner conversation was very lively. Mostly Edward and Charlie talking about stuff I had no idea about. Charlie questioned Edward on his stocks and investments almost the whole time. I tried to tune them out but couldn't help but watch Charlie's eyes widen when Edward told him about his money making expertise. I couldn't believe that I'd fallen in love with a billionaire...and they he loved me too. What were the odds?

After dinner and coffee I made Edward leave. He usually slept over but I didn't want Charlie to feel weird. Even though he loved Edward now...well, I hoped he did...I still didn't want him to think of me differently. So he left despite the fact that Charlie insisted he stayed. The weird thing was that even though I wanted Charlie to like him, I didn't want him to like Edward this much. Charlie liked Edward for all the wrong reasons and he didn't even know him. I kind of wanted the normal father-daughter experience where he hated Edward. This seemed too easy.

* * *

In the morning I got up early to make coffee but was surprised to see Charlie was already up and drinking it. He was reading the papers and tisking each time something bad came up.

"Look at this! Three murders and five car accidents! This big city isn't safe, not like Forks."

I sighed. "I don't care what you say, I'm not moving back Dad."

Charlie rolled his eyes.

"So, is Edward coming to lunch with us today?"

I picked up the entertainment section of the paper and read it. I had to admit, ever since they made me reported the entertainment section was lacking severly. I sighed.

"Uhm, actually he's taking his daughter to daycare around that time for her mom."

I said it just like normal, like I normally would, but when I glanced up Charlie was giving me an odd look.

"What?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Is Edward married Bella?"

My eyes widened and then I realized I never told Charlie Edward had a baby! Oh no...

"No no no! Of course not! It's just a long story, really. But the short version is he was engaged like two years ago and she left him at the alter when she found out she was pregnant and didn't tell him. Then she just came back in his life with this baby that's his and he's just trying to be a good dad, which he is, but he's not getting back with the mother. Don't worry about. I'm sure you'll be seeing some of his daughter Susan this week." I looked at his face. It still wasn't happy. So I added, "she's adorable!"

I could tell Charlie was thinking hard because his forehead was all scrunched up. I knew that face well.

"Bella..."he started and then took a breath. "I don't think this is kind of man you should get involved with. I mean, he's got a child and some woman who is probably still after him."

I couldn't help but let my mouth gape. "Dad, he fell in love with me before any of this happened! It's not a big deal!"

It was weird how easy I could say it was no big deal now.

"Bella, let's be rational," Charlie tried to reason.

I shook my head, getting angry.

"I thought you liked him! Dad, Edward is a good person! I don't care about that whole baby nonsense! I'm still in love with him."

Then Charlie looked at me carefully. "Then why are you betraying him with the article on his family?"

I shut my mouth instantly. That was off-limits and he knew it. Keeping my mouth shut so I wouldn't say something I regretted, I stood up and walked into my room and locked the door. I felt just like a teenager again. My temper and emotions always got to me! I couldn't believe this!

* * *

The knocking started about an hour later.

"Bells...listen, I'm sorry. I'm apologizing for the last thing I said though. I still don't agree with your descision to stay with Edward, but I'm still sorry. Please come out, I don't want to ruin the trip."

I wanted to answer, but I the phone rang. Saved by the bell!

I answered it quickly.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Guess what!"

It was Rosalie's cheerful voice. Geez, I wish she was pregnant all the time. I loved her good moods.

"What is it?"

I tried to tune out Charlie's knocking.

"I got another ultrasound today and found out the sex!"

I was immediately engrossed, waiting patiently!

"Well, what is it?"

I knew she was pausing on purpose.

"Well, don't tell Emmett. He wants to be surprised, but Alice needs to know so she can do the nursery in the right colors and he promised not to look but...IT'S A GIRL!"

I almost fell off the bed with excitement.

"Oh Rose! That's amazing! I'm so happy for you. A little girl!"

I could tell she was bursting with excitement.

"I know! I just can't believe it's all happening so fast. Only three more months to go! I can hardly stand it!"

"Well, have you thought of any names?"

"No, not yet. Emmett has a few, but you know him. They're all like weird names that you named warrior cartoons or something. We'll see, maybe we'll get inspiration soon."

I smiled, genuinely happy for her.

"My dad is actually in town so I've got to run, but I'll talk to to you later, okay?"

"Oh ya, okay! I've to meet him one day, but I'll let you go!"

"Alright, bye."

I hung up and kept smiling as I went to open the door.

* * *

**HA, thought this would be easy, would it? We'll see how the rest of the week goes. Leave me some love!!! :)**


	31. Suicide

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Thanks for being patient, I've been super busy, I'm out everyday getting stuff ready for this party I'm having and catching up with life and all, plus I'm going on vacation again next week, but don't freak, it's just for a week this time so updates will come soon! Anyways, I'm glad you all loved the suspense last chapter and I hope to bring more!**

**Enjoy!!**

**This chapter is also short because there's a lot going on and I don't want to fill it with a bunch of crap to distract from the main point...**

**Bella POV**

Lunch was...awkward, to say the least. I took Charlie to a small cafe that I'd never been, mostly in the hopes I'd run into no one. I didn't know what Charlie's opinions on the rest of my friends would be.

We sat there in silence for most of it, him staring me down and me looking down. I knew neither of us was going to bring up our last eventful conversation so at least I didn't have to worry about that.

"Bells...what do you think of coming home with me?"

My eyes snapped up almost immediately.

"What?" The word was barely audible to my own ears.

"I think it would be good for you to get away, just for a bit."

I sat up and folded my arms.

"You mean get away from Edward?" I snapped. Charlie flinched but remained composed.

"I guess you could say that," he said. "I'm just sayin that there's a lot of tension going on and I don't want you to get hurt. I think time away would do you both good. I mean, seein that he's a dad and all."

I rolled my eyes. "I can't leave Edward, I love him more than anything Dad. I'm not going, I _like_ it here."

His lips pursed. His next sentence made me almost fall out of my chair.

"Are you sleeping with him?"

My eyes popped and even though I was a grown woman, my face turned beet red and I started to feel very uncomfortable. He was _not_ asking me about my sex life!

"Excuse me? That's none of your business!" I roared, looking around to see if anyone heard.

Suddenly Charlie was very interested.

"So you are. I can't help but say I'm disappointed in ya Bells. First serious relationship and you put out. This part of your article?"

I couldn't take it. I stood up and threw a few bills on the table. I could feel tears rushing to my eyes as I glared at my father.

"No! I slept with him because I _love_ him Dad and I was ready! You have no part in this! How dare you tell me that! God, how dare you even acuse me of such a thing!"

And then I turned on my heels and shot from the cafe, not caring that everyone was staring and definitely not caring that Charlie probably had no idea how to get home. He'd figure it out eventually.

* * *

Once outside, I found myself running. I tripped a lot and had people preparing to catch me, but I kept on until my feet got the hang of it. I got three blocks before stopping and bending over, heaving. But then I started right back up and sprinted until I found myself in front of Edward's apartment building, which I learned he also owned last night too.

I took the elevator past his penthouse suite and to the roof. Edward had an extravagant garden built but I bypassed that into the lone corner where it was dark and shady. There, I collapsed.

I buried my face in my knees and wrapped my arms around myself. Rigors shot through my body as I felt another meltdown coming on. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't face my dad, I couldn't tell Edward I loved him everyday without feeling guilty, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without wanting to cry. I _hated_ myself, I _hated_ my life! The only good thing I had was Edward and his family...but that wasn't even real.

Gaining the ability to stand, I got up and turned to look out over the city. This building was so tall and high up that I felt unsteady as I looked straight down.

Suddenly I found myself wondering if it would hurt much, slamming into the pavement. Surely it would kill you instantly? I imagined my lifeless body strewn on the ground and Edward hopping from his car and falling to his knees. He'd take me in his arms and cry, feeling the worst pain possible. I imagined my funeral, and Charlie making a plea bargain with God, saying he was sorry and wishing he never faught with me.

My eyes were closed by that point and when they opened I found myself standing on the edge of the building, my arms outstretching. When I realized what I was doing panic washed through me and I quickly fell backwards to the roof floor. What was I thinking! I scrambled to my feet and ran to the door and ran down all 50 flights of stairs and ran down the street until my body couldn't take it. I hailed a cab and then told them to take me to the paper.

* * *

When I got to work I took the elevator to my floor and burst into Andrew's office. He looked up from his giant MAC computer screen in wonder.

"Bella? What's the meaning of this?"

He was angry, but so I was.

"Andrew. I quit."

* * *

**Oh my gosh! Didn't see that one, did ya? This was a very intense chapter, leave some love!!**


	32. Not Gay

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Hey my lovlies! I am SOOO sorry this has taken forever, but I take a lot of time to recover from vacation, haha! But, I've got millions of ideas brewing in my head and I thank you for the support!**

**Bella POV**

With that statement I turned on my heels and headed for the door. When I didn't hear his rage, I slowed my pace but still continued. It wasn't until my hand touched the door knob that he spoke.

"Fine, suit yourself Ms. Swan," he said, more formal than I'd ever heard.

I paused and tried to understand his tone before turning to face him.

"Excuse me?"

Andrew sat at his desk calm with his hands intertwined on top.

"Do what you want, but if you do remember correctly, you signed a contract in the beginning of this project. All works you have submitted belong to me. Nothing can stop me from printing your finished and edited drafts...that is if they don't need to be _rewritten_ to a more juciy standard," he told me.

My heart skipped a beat. Shit! How had I forgotten that! He couldn't...he wouldn't!

But his face said it all.

He would.

"A-andrew...you wouldn't." My voice cracked.

His brow narrowed. "Try me Bella. This is the best story continuation we've had all year! I am not going to piss it away because you don't want your precious Edward to be upset with you!"

He stood up and slammed his fist down.

"Dammit! This is a business Bella! You knew what you were putting yourself into from the very start so don't back out now! The first part is due to be out in two weeks! Two weeks Bella! Do not screw this up for me!"

For the first time I was scared of Andrew. I'd never seen him so angry before.

"Andrew...I can't! This is tearing me apart! You don't understand, I _hate_ myself! I can't stand who I've become! I can not do this anymore!"

As the words came out, so did the tears. I was falling apart...literally.

So it surprised me when Andrew was suddenly at my side. His anger was gone and instead he was...sympathetic. I turned away in my shame.

"Bella..."his soothing voice whispered. If I weren't crying my eyes out I might have been surprised that there was no anger in his voice. "Bella...I didn't know, I had no idea." I just shook my head.

"Of course you didn't. You just care about this stupid paper and how good it makes you look as editor. You can cut this crap of trying to make me feel better, it's not working," I answered back. "I can't do this anymore, I'm not good enough. Maybe you should have asked someone with more courage."

I expected him to just leave me wallowing in self-pity, but he didn't. He stepped closer.

"Bella...you can do this. I didn't want to tell you this because I thought it would make you cocky, but you're one of the best writers here. I pushed you hard because I knew that was the only way with you. Just keep strong. You've made it this far, if you quit it will all be for nothing!"

His whispered words oddly comforted me and made me cry harder. What was with him!

"You're just saying that. You see nothing in me. God, you don't even like me!"

After I uttered those words it was like a wall broke. Andrew suddenly had his arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace, something like Edward would do. My breath caught in shock.

"I've learned a lot from you by your writing. You really care, Bella. You can love like I've never seen, and you're brave. Just keep your strong."

I looked up to see his face, if it was genuine. This whole new side of Andrew really scared me now. I didn't know what to make of it.

"Andrew, I-"

But in that short moment Andrew had caught my lips with his and gently kissed me. At first I was so shocked that I didn't know what was going on. Why were my lips moving with his? It wasn't until he got rough and shoved his tongue in me that I pulled out, wiping my mouth as I went.

"What the hell are you doing!" I sputtered, spitting on the floor.

"Bella...don't you see?"

"See what? That you're a crazy bastard?" I yelled back. "God, I thought you were gay!"

His eyes went wide at that. "Gay? You've got to be kidding me!"

Unable to comprehend what just happened, I spun around in a rush and stormed out of the building.

* * *

Walking down the street and a little less angry, I was able to go over what had just happened in my head.

First, I quit.

Second, Andrew had a freak out attack at me.

Third, he softened up.

And then last....he kissed me and he _wasn't_ gay.

I replayed evert moment I've ever had with Andrew in my head. He dressed gay, he talked gay, he looked gay, and he was always talking about that guy Daniel.

I was thinking so hard that I didn't hear it when someone called my name. Even the horn honking didn't phase me. It wasn't until an empty coffee cup was catapulted at my head did I turn to see Alice leaning out of her porshe parked on the street.

"Bella! God, are you deaf?" she hollered.

I rubbed my head and walked to the passenger seat and got in.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

Alice looked my over carefully. "You're a wreck. Have you been crying? Bella, what's going on?"

I sat still for a moment before answering.

"I'm not really sure."

Alice just rolled her eyes and started the car. "You're coming home with me."

* * *

The car ride was silent and thank God for that. Alice practically had to drag me up to her apartment and to the couch.

"Okay Bella, spill."

I looked up at her eyes. They were just like an angel's. I suddenly burst out crying and she came to my side, hugging me tightly.

"I don't know! I just can't do this anymore..." I sobbed.

I wanted Edward. I wanted to be in _his_ arms. I wanted him to kiss my forehead and promise me everything was going to be alright. And then I wanted to sleep with him...hard and long so it would make me forget anything that has ever happened to me. I just wanted to forget.

Alice's warm hands rubbed my back in soothing circles.

"What can't you do? Bella talk to me! Is it Edward? Did something happen?" she asked, trying to dig the truth out.

I shook my head and pulled away. "No, not him. Just...me."

And then I remembered Charlie. I got up quickly.

"I need to get home! My dad is waiting...I need to talk to him."

Still unsure of what was happening, I left Alice and went downstairs and hailed a cab back to my place.

* * *

When I walked inside I wasn't greeted by Charlie. Instead Edward ran to my side and pulled me close.

"Where's Charlie? Why are you here?" I asked, looking past his shoulder.

Edward grabbed my face in his hands and looked in my eyes.

"He called me, he was worried about you. Bella, are you okay? Were you crying?"

I shook my head and tried to move past him. I needed to talk to Charlie.

"I'm fine, I just need to talk to him..."

Edward wasn't having that. "Bella, what happened? Tell me! I know he doesn't like me, but what went down?"

What went down? My physco boss yelled at me and then made out with me, that's what went down.

But I couldn't say that.

"Go back to work, I'll be okay. I just need to say sorry. He was right, I was being stupid."

Edward's eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "Right? Right about me?"

I shook my head again. "No, of course not! Just right about _me_! You're perfect, nothing is wrong with you. Just go back to work, I'm okay now. Just had a little meltdown."

Edward nodded. "Yeah, you've had a lot of those lately."

I took a breath and put on my best face. "I'm fine. Really."

He looked me over carefully and I know he didn't believe it, but rather than fight with me he kissed my lips and then left, trusting me yet again.

As he walked out the door I almost wanted to tell him not to come back, that he shouldn't come back.

But I couldn't.

I would rather die a thousand times over, each one more painful, than not love Edward.

He was my _only_ reason to stay.

* * *

**So...what did you think? I really tried hard to get you all into Bella's head at this point in time. The last part she was really confused so I tried hard to you all to feel the confusion and need that she does. This story will start to take off on a wild ride from here...so enjoy it!! Much love! 3**


	33. Surprise!

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Once again...amazing reviews! I'm so glad you all liked it...so let's see what happens next! And I am so sorry this has been taking awhile! I just can't seem to find time to write anymore! Summer is ending and I'm trying to get everything in before school starts up again :( but I promise to keep gettin these out faster!**

**Bella POV**

After he left I ran into the guest room. Charlie was putting his things back into his small brown, leather suitcase. He'd had that same suitcase all my life. For some reason it hit a cord and caused my throat to close up. He'd always been there for me when I needed him, and now I needed him more than ever. I felt like I was betraying him too.

"Dad?" I whispered, my voice hoarse.

He turned around. His face looked hagard and old.

"Bella."

I stood in the doorway, holding it's frame for support.

"Please, Dad, don't leave."

Charlie stuffed his hand into his pockets and blew out a stream of breath.

"Bells, given all that's happened today, I think it's for the best. I don't want to get in the way or cause you stress."

Hot tears pooled in my eyes. "But I want you to stay."

With those words his expression softened slightly. "Me too."

There was so much I wanted to say, but just standing there looking at the man who I half was, an unspoken conversation ran through us. It was like he just knew. I let the tears overflow my eyes and ran to his arms, pressing my face into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Dad, for everything. You were right and I was horrible to you."

Some warm and wet ran down my neck and I knew he was crying too.

"No Bells, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I would never be ashamed of you. I'm so proud of your strength and abilities. I know you'll figure something out, you're a smart woman," he said.

I sniffled and nodded.

"I quit today."

Charlie pulled back and studied my face.

"Bella, are you sure?"

I nodded and wiped my eyes. "Of course. I can't keep pulling myself apart this way. Edward is the most important thing to me now."

Charlie nodded. "I saw the way he looked at you earlier, I peeked through the door. There's no denying how much he loves you and even though I don't approve of his current situation, I know that you know best. If he is what you want, then I can accept that. I'm sure he'll make a great son one day."

Hearing that, my heart soared.

"Thank you."

* * *

The next morning I dropped Charlie off at the airport. He pulled his small suitcase from the trunk and then pulled me into his arms.

"Are you sure Dad? You can stay, I want you here."

He just shook his head. "Things are busy right now. I'll come back when everything is figured out. Just know that I love you, okay?"

I pulled away and nodded. "I love you too."

He kissed my cheek and then went on his way, just like that.

* * *

After leaving the airport I drove straight to the bar to tell Emmett I didn't need this week off after all. But instead I found Alice there, hanging up decorations with the crew for Disco Night. This I wasn't looking forward to, they were making me wear roller skates. That was just a disaster waiting to happen.

"Bella?"

"Alice," I greeted, seating myself at the bar.

She raised her eyebrow in question.

"So, yesterday. Are we going to talk?"

I thought it over quickly and nodded.

"I just got a little overwhelmed. I had a fight with my dad, but it's all good now. I'm sorry for acting like such a freak, it wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry."

And just like I knew she would, Alice hopped over the bar and hugged me.

"Oh Bella! It's okay! I forgive you."

I smiled and just hugged her back. I finally felt free. Just being one Bella felt kind of nice.

"So, how's disco night comin?" I asked, changing subjects. Alice simply laughed.

"Fabulous! I have your outfit!"

She held up a sparkly top with booty shorts.

"These will look fantastic with those roller skates! And, I'm coming over early to poof and curl your hair and do your makeup. Remember, everything was big in the 70's."

I sighed with a smile. "Oh, I know."

* * *

I managed to get through the night with only spilling one drink...which happened to be right on Edward's crotch, go figure. But besides that, the event was a hit. Rosalie even showed up in a custom maternity outfit which somehow made her even hotter. Poor Emmett.

The night ended with Edward and I sitting on my couch drinking the left over cosmos I brought home.

The alcohol ran to my head quickly, letting words slur out as I rested my head in his lap.

"I love you...ssso much," I whispered, running my fingers across his chest. Alice forced him to wear a shirt with two buttons like John Travolta in _Saturday Night Fever_. He didn't like it..but I did, oh boy did I.

He trembled under my hand before lifting it to his face. "I think someone is ready for bed?"

It sounded like a question...or maybe it was just me. I sat up and straddled him, letting my butt swing out where he gladly rested his hands.

"I'll go if you do." I said, lifting my eyebrow and trying to be sexy. I expected him to laugh but he surprised me by groaning.

I let my balance falter and sat down on him. This made his head fall back and another groan escaped him.

"What?" I demanded.

He chuckled, but it was strained.

"Ah Bella, the things you do to me."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'm not doing anything." I shifted my weight which made him skwirm.

"T-that...you drive me crazy! You must be the most naively, sexy woman on the planet!"

Then I got what he meant. I smiled deviously and moved a little more until I felt his pain. Finally he jumped up with me in his arms and ran me into my bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

In the morning I could feel the hangover coming on. I rolled over to my side to see Edward and all his glory sleeping soundly. I smiled and traced up his chest with my fingers. He smiled and then opened his eyes.

"Morning beautiful," he whispered, catching my hand in his mouth before kissing it.

I giggled.

"What time is it?" he asked.

I turned to look at the clock and laughed.

"2 PM."

Edward sighed and pulled me into his arms.

"Did I mention how much I love this bra you're wearing?" he teased.

It was the red lace one Alice got me last week. I figured he might like it.

I was just about to fall asleep again when the doorbell rang. Dammit.

"Let's ignore it," I suggested, but Edward was already up and slipping his jeans on.

"I'll be right back, love."

I watched him leave the room before sitting up to stretch. Almost seconds later I heard Edward's voice.

"Uh, Bella? Come here for a second."

Not even thinking I jumped up and slid Edward's shirt from last night on over myself. Then I ran through the hall into foyer...and stopped dead in my tracks.

There was Edward shirtless and looking uncomfortable and right in front of him with a duffle bag in his hand was Jacob. My Jacob.

My face turned bright red as I realized I only had on my lace bra and panties and shirt with two buttons, which were undone.

"Bella?" Jacob asked, giving me the once over.

Shit.

* * *

**Surprise...I have been planning that scene for months now haha! Hope you love it! 3 Reviews rock!!**


	34. First Love

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Reviews=AMAZING! Haha, you guys make me so happy!! And yes, I did spell squirm wrong, haha!! I knew I had spelled it wrong but I was having a brain fart and I couldn't remember the right way to spell it so thanks for saying that because I wouldn't have thought about it haha! **

**But...onto the story!**

**Bella POV**

We all stood in silence for a minute. It wasn't until Edward very subtly cleared his throat that I was launched back to reality. I quickly pulled the shirt tightly around myself and tried to think of something to say. I hadn't seen Jake in four years. After he went off to college I just forgot. It didn't help that the first year was clouded with pain and hurt either.

"Jake...what are you doing here?" I asked, half hiding behind Edward.

He set his bag down and blinked.

"Bella..."

I could already feel tears in my eyes. "I don't think this is a good time right now."

The look of hurt on his face was enough to kill me. Why did he pick now to mend old wounds?

"Please, just let me talk. I've been debating whether to come for months," he said.

But it hurt too much...couldn't he see that?

"Y-you should be in school."

"I graduated last month. I sent an announcement."

I glanced at the unopened announcement sitting on the table by the door. I got it, but I couldn't open it. I just couldn't.

"Oh."

Luckily he continued. "Anyway, my dad gave me some money and said I could go on a trip and well, I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do than see you."

He wanted to see me?

"Listen, Bells, you don't know how much I've missed you. Four years is a long time and when you never returned my emails or calls, I figured you didn't want me as a friend anymore."

I sighed. Silly Jacob, I would always want him to be my best friend.

He stepped closer which only made Edward slip his arm around my waist. Jacob halted in his tracks. He just now noticed Edward and stiffened at his warm embrace of me.

"Bella...I am so sorry I hurt you. I jus-"

"But you did hurt me!" All the memories from four years ago came back to haunt me and flooded my mind. How could _my_ Jacob just come back and expect me to forgive him? I'd held all these feelings in for years, locked away in my mind and now they all burst out in tears. "You hurt me so bad! You have no idea what that did to me! And now you come back and what? Expect me to still be waiting or something? There is a reason I didn't return emails or see you at Christmas!"

I wanted to keep yelling at him but I couldn't. My throat closed and sobs wretched from my chest. Edward held me tigher.

"I think you should leave," he said. This was not a suggestion either...it was a command.

I could barely see Jacob through my blurry eyes but I could see the pain on his face as he picked up his bag and left...just as quickly as he had come.

* * *

"So...are we going to talk about it or like every other breakdown you've had we're just going to pretend nothing happened?"

I couldn't help but detect the malice in Edward's tone as he said that.

Jacob had been gone for twenty minutes and I had calmed down on the couch with Edward on the other side. After I stopped crying he stopped holding me and put on the hard face.

"This is different, Edward."

I couldn't even look him in the eye. I was such a coward.

"How? Bella, you haven't opened up to me since the day you locked yourself in the bathroom and barfed all night! God, I feel like I don't even know you anymore!"

I looked up quickly. My heart dropped and I could barely even comprehend what he was saying.

"Are you saying you don't love me anymore?"

Edward sighed. "Of course I love you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but we can't do that unless you talk to me Bella! What is going on? What happened with Jacob? And why do you cry yourself to sleep almost every night and why did you fight with Charlie? We can't build our relationship without communication and we sure as hell can't build it on lies!"

I buried my face in my hands.

"Jacob hurt me Edward! You don't get it, we had a fight four years ago and it still hurts!"

I figured Edward would pull me close, but he didn't.

"Well I've been hurt too Bella, but I got over it! Just talk to him and get over it!"

I stood up and threw the pillow I was holding on the couch.

"I CAN'T!" I yelled. "My life is so screwed up that I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror! I can't get over that and I can't talk to anyone about it! No one knows what I have been going through since I moved here! Can't you see Edward?"

He stood up too, ready to battle me out.

"Well you can talk to me! You know I won't hold anything against you!" His voice lowered when he saw that I started to cry again. "Bella...please don't cry. Just talk to me...let me help you. Just let me in."

He rubbed my arms gently, offering himself to me...but I just pulled away, disgusted with myself. It was all over...but it didn't feel that way.

"Please, let me help you Bella. We can get through this...what ever it is."

I finally looked him in the eye.

"You really want to help?"

He sighed in relief, but I didn't want to talk. Instead I let go of myself and just lost Bella. She floated away as the angry-sexy-woman took over. She ripped off my shirt and then went in for the kill, pushing him down on the floor.

"Just let me forget everything."

And like every other time, Edward blew off the talking thing and just let me deal the only way I knew how.

* * *

It had been two hours since the fight and I was laying on Edward's bare chest. Even though I was in my own home, locked away and safe, it still felt weird to be laying naked on the living room floor. This meant Bella had come back. I accepted the silence happily, but like all things it ended.

"Bella...you have to talk to me. What happened? I gave you what you wanted, but you need to help me out too."

I turned away from him and glared.

"Please, Edward."

Just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't talk about it.

"Bella...."

His hand traced circles on my back, soothing me. It didn't work. So Edward got up and put his pants on and shirt, heading for the door.

"I've got to get Susan."

I listened to him put his shoes on. It took only a minute, but it felt like an hour. The whole scene from the last time I saw Jacob played in my head again. I sat up and wrapped the blanket around myself and rocked back and forth. The door never opened. He was waiting.

"Jacob was my best friend." I said suddenly.

Silence, still.

"He got accepted to the University of Washington, but I was going to Seattle University at the time, had been for two years. We saw each other almost every weekend and for the first time, I felt loved, like really loved. We got so close that the summer before he left for college I moved back in with my dad for two months. Jacob and I spent every waking minute together...and well, things changed.

"There were some things I've never told you...like I _have_ been in love before. I fell in love with Jacob, and it was very quick. I lied about a lot of things to you, because the truth just hurt too much. The first time I ever got drunk was with him..."

And then a flashback took over my head.

_**Four Years Ago**_

_Jacob and I had been sitting on the small dock of the lake for two hours, getting wasted out of our minds. The quilt we lay on seemed to grow warmer with each sip. I wondered why people didn't get drunk more often? It was fun and made things less awkward. Like the fact that I told Jacob I loved him for the first time...and he said it back. His arm was around my waist and I was laying on his chest, feeling it rise and fall like the dock did, bobbing in the water._

_"I love you," I repeated again, even though my words were slurred._

_He clucked and let his lips brush my forehead._

_"I love you more than air."_

_I giggled loudly at this and scooted closer to his face until I lips touched. I never knew how good first love could feel._

_"Do you think...that maybe we'll get married? After I graduate I mean?" Jacob asked._

_I looked up at the moon, shining so bright. "I hope so."_

_His hand slid up my shirt and under my bra, tracing circles in my back._

_"Good. Because I want you Bella, and not just that. I want to be with you and see you every day and every morning. You make me feel like the happiest man on earth."_

_A tear fell down my cheek as he said this, but the vodka in my brain took over suddenly and I stood up._

_"Let's go for a swim!"_

_But right when I said that I regretted. Swim? Naked?_

_But Jacob got up and tore his shirt off. I marveled at his sculped abs and then blushed when he waited for me to take off my shirt. If I wasn't drunk, there was no way in hell I'd been doing this, but I did. I slowly slipped my shirt off until there was just my beige bra. And then he removed his jeans, so I did the same. His boxers slid off and before I knew it we were standing naked in front of each other. I was shaking....hard, but he just smiled._

_"You're beautiful, Bella."_

_Again I blushed, but something changed. I looked up at him and then smiled. I grabbed our bottle of vodka and downed the rest before diving in the lake, butt naked and totally in love._

_When we finished swimming it was like passion just kept getting stronger. Jacob and I crawled back on the quilt, but this time he fell on top of me, covering my face and lips with warm, deep kisses. The kind that made you heart burst from your chest. We kissed and kissed until something was different. And then I realized what we were doing. And unlike when I had been thinking about it, I wasn't scared. It was perfect, our first time right under the moon. I didn't mind the pain because after awhile it just went away and he made it better with ever kiss. Every pant and exhausted sigh just seemed right._

Edward was in front of me now...confused. "So I wasn't your first? But you said it hurt and that you didn't expect it to feel that way...Bella, I don't understand."

The tears flowed freely now as I explained.

"It felt different than I expected because with Jacob is was rough and wild, impulsive. With you it's just...perfect. Gentle and romantic and just how I want it to be, I wasn't expecting that and of course it hurt! It had been four years, Edward. It's not like I kept it up or anything."

I turned away from him, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean...you can keep going, I'm listening."

I nodded and then continued with the story.

* * *

**CLIFFHANGER haha, sorry, I can't help it!!! I hope you enjoyed that surprise...our very last major plot line haha. Reviews=love!**


	35. Let Down

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Wow...I wasn't expecting that! I love how half of you just want Bella to die and the other half still have hope for her :) I like this!! Let's continue!!**

**_Language Warning in this chapter, just a heads up...it's not too bad though._**

**Bella POV**

I still couldn't look Edward in the eye so I kept my head down as I continued.

"By the time August rolled around I decided to stay a few more weeks with him. He wasn't heading up to Seattle until the 20th, so I thought we could drive up together. It wasn't until the first week past that I realized I never got my period the previous week. So I got worried, I was never late or early, always on time. I waited it out a day until I just paniced. So I called Jacob over, I had to tell him."

**_Four Years Ago_**

_I sat anxiously on my couch, waiting for that stupid doorbell to ring. I was waiting so hard that when it did ring I jumped in the air. I took deep breath and answered the door. Jacob stood there, smiling. He immediately pulled me against him in a passionate kiss. I pulled away quickly._

_"I've missed you," he said, heading to the couch._

_I couldn't help but smile at that._

_"We've only been apart for a few hours," I teased._

_He just shrugged and sat down, me next to him. It was quiet for a minute and then Jacob kissed my shoulder. He moved up to my collar bone and then started going at it on my neck. I still got goosebumps all over my body as he pushed me down and started kissing my mouth. We got really into it until his hand slid under my shirt and rested on my stomach. I jerked up and scooted away.  
_

_"Bells? What's wrong?" he asked, running his fingers through his shaggy hair._

_I wrapped my arms tightly around myself and looked down._

_"We need to talk," but then remembering what those words meant, I rephrased. "I mean, I need to talk to you."_

_I glanced up and he was all ears._

_"Tell me. Is everything all right?"_

_I shook my head and bit my lip._

_"Do you remember that night? At the lake, when we first...?"_

_I trailed off, hoping he would remember. He nodded indicating that he did._

_So I continued. "Well...you didn't...I mean we didn't...n-not protected..."_

_My words jumbled. I couldn't say it. But when I looked up his eyes changed suddenly. They weren't happy or wild. In fact they were...childlike. Scared. Young. He knew what I was trying to say._

_"Jacob...I think I'm pregnant."_

_With those words his eyes changed again. Confused._

_"Pregnant?" he tried to the words out and they didn't sound right._

_I nodded slowly and cupped my flat stomach. How could this have happened?_

_And then his whole face changed._

_"Well, you said _think, _so it's not for sure? Have you gone to the doctors yet?" he asked, thinking up solutions already._

_I shook my head. "I don't need to, I just know."_

_"Well take a test! We don't know anythig yet!" he almost yelled._

_I sighed. "I don't need a test! I just know, okay?"_

_He blew out a breath, he knew I was right._

_"God Bella! How could you have let this happen?" he said, his voice getting louder._

_I shifted to the defensive. "What? Me? How is this my fault! You're the one who couldn't wear a damn condom!"_

_There...I said it._

_"Condom? I thought you were on birthcontrol! Isn't that what everyone is doing now? You didn't say anything!"_

_"Birthcontrol?" I yelled. "Why would I bet on that? It was my first time Jacob!"_

_I balled his fists up like he was going to fight, but then they unclenched._

_"It was mine too! You can't expect me to know all that shit!"_

_Who didn't know all that? You always wore protection. How could we have been so stupid? Every other time we were covered, but the first we never even thought about it._

_I buried my face in my hands._

_"What are we going to do?" Jacob asked, his voice a whisper._

_I just shook my head._

_"It's not like I can give up college," he said._

_I looked up this time. His face was serious, but still college like._

_"Excuse me? Jacob, I can't raise this baby on my own! I still have college too!"_

_I scrutinized my face. "Bella, you can't just ask me to give up my dream! I have to go to college. I can't just drop out! I'm on scholarship there!"_

_What about me? "So you want me to drop out? I need help, this is your baby too!"_

_He looked at me seriously now. "Bella, there's other options here."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Like adoption? I don't have the strentgh to give up my baby! Jacob...honestly."_

_He shook his head. "I didn't mean adoption."_

_It took me a minute to realize what he was talking about, but then it went very quite._

_"Are you saying....you want me to get an....abortion?" The last word came out a whisper._

_Jacob nodded. We both looked again at my flat stomach. And then I explode._

_"How the hell could you ask me that! I would never do that, ever! This is our baby Jacob!"_

_He freaked too. "Well maybe I don't want a damn baby now! I'm eighteen, my life is starting! I can't just give it up to raise some child I didn't ask for! We're not ready for this Bells, it's an easy solution!"_

_I shook my head and tears fell from my eyes. "I can't, and I won't! What happened to you wanting me, forever? I thought you wanted to marry me and be with me forever?"_

_"I do!" he cried._

_I let a sob escape. "Then how can you be saying this? Don't you love me?"_

_He stood up. "Of course I love you! But I can't marry you, not now! Not because you're pregnant! I'm going to school, Bella. This is just...it's too fast!"_

_More tears streamed down my face. He wasn't the man I thought he was._

_"So you're going to leave me here?"_

_He rolled his eyes. "Of course not! You have school too Bella, we can get an apartment together, okay? Just, it's just we don't need a baby, okay?"_

_I shook my head. "I can't go to school this way, Jacob."_

_That stopped him in his tracks._

_"You won't come with me?" he whispered._

_I shook my head slowly. He thought for a minute before answering that._

_"Then we can't be together."_

_I looked up at him. "You're breaking up with me?"_

_"No, Bella. I'm saying that I can't be a dad."_

_He wasn't making sense._

_"So it's me, but only if I kill the baby? What kind of sick person are you!"_

_I got up and more tears fell._

_"I don't know! I just know that I'm not ready for this! I need to get my shit together first before I even think about kids!"_

_I'd had it. I pointed to the door._

_"Leave. Get the hell out!" I screamed._

_Jacob sighed and put both hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me._

_"Bella, just calm down!"_

_But I couldn't. I pushed him off me, slamming him into the table and knocking the lamp off._

_"Don't touch me! Ever!"_

_"Bella, just listen-"_

_"Get out!" I yelled._

_He stood tall, not going to leave. "No, you're not kicking me out."_

_"Get out!" I yelled again._

_"No."_

_"Get the fuck out of my house!" I screamed, so loud that it felt as if the world had gone still. We were both surprised at this. I had never yelled at him before and I could never take that back now. And this time, he listened._

_Jacob stood up straight and silently walked to the door, leaving me there fuming. The door opened and he turned back once, a single tear in his eye, and then left. The door clicked shut and I fell to the ground in tears. Sobs choked their way from my throat._

_*** _

_Of course later that night I got my period, but I didn't feel better. I sent a note to Jacob that said "not pregnant" and nothing more. I didn't need to see him or tell him that it was alright, because it wasn't. I didn't need all that to know what kind of man Jacob was, one who wouldn't stick by me._

_I left for school the next day and every day for a month he called, but I didn't asnwer. I deleted his emails without opening them and burned his letters without reading them. I had to get him erased from my mind. It was over...it was always over._

* * *

Tears had been rolling down my face the whole time. My body was shaking and these feelings ran through me. I hadn't thought about this story in four years and now it was all coming out. I took a second to calm down before looking back at Edward. He was just standing there, watching me.

"So this is what has been bugging you?" he asked.

I should tell him, right now. But why? It's over, he doesn't need to know.

So I nodded. "Yes."

Edward just shook his head. "Bella, how could you not have told me this?"

This surprised me. He was..._angry_.

"Edward, I just couldn't! It hurt too much. So I thought that if I moved here permanently, I could start over with everything! And then I met you, and you outshined everything! Jacob might have been my first love, but you're my true love! There is no doubt in my mind about that! It was like my heart was shattered and you glued it together with super glue and put a protective shield around it. I've moved on from Jacob, I lived without him but you...I dont think I could make it without you," I said, letting my voice get softer.

He had to see.

"But Bella, you lied! I mean, how do I know you're not lying about other things? That was a big lie! Is your name really Bella? Or are you some secret undercover agent spying on me?" he yelled.

Bingo. Got it. Right on the money.

Edward was waiting for me to speak, but after that last thing he said, I couldn't. So he turned around and left.

And just like that, another person I loved let me down. Left. Gave up.

No one said relationships were easy.

It seemed like everyone was letting me down these days...especially myself. I was letting _me_ down, and sooner or later it had to come back for me.

Didn't it always?

* * *

**Ooo..controversy! Their first real live fight!! Reviews please 3**


	36. Water Under The Bridge

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Great reviews guys! Sorry this one took forever, school started and stuff and let's say I miss summer :( But oh well, school is good too and I'm filled with ideas! Thanks for being so amazing!!!**

**Bella POV**

After Edward left I wasn't in my right mind. I slowly put my clothes back on and folded the blanket off the ground. I ate a quick bite to settle my stomach and then thought about calling in sick for work tonight, but I couldn't get myself to pick up the phone. I wasn't sure where our fight left us. Did we break up? I didn't feel like it, but something in the air told me my life that was going downhill was no plummeting to it's death. So I sat on the couch staring at the wall. It was dark because I never opened the curtains and who knows how many times my phone rang. But each time I just sat there and imagined it was Edward, calling to say he didn't mean it and he loves me...but why would he do that? I was a sorry excuse for a person. More like a robot, a stupid robot.

By the time late afternoon rolled around my neck was getting stiff for still sitting there. I felt like those ladies in the commericals with that disease where everything hurt and they couldn't do anything. Everything hurt on me...and the worst part was I couldn't even cry. I was lifeless, like my body was there but my mind was closed off. There was a knock at my door, and when I didn't answer it it turned into a banging. Then a voice came.

"Bella! Open up! I know you're in there!"

It was Alice. Of course she would come.

"God dammit Bella! Answer the door! I swear I'll break it down! I will!"

I almost laughed. Tiny Alice breaking my giant door? Fat chance. But I got up anyway and answered it. She was standing there, adorable as usual, but also worried.

"Bella? You look like hell!"

I let her in and then lightly shut the door.

"What do you want?"

I shuffled to the couch and plopped down.

She watched my cautiously before sitting down and forcing me to look her in the eye.

"We need to talk. Lately you've been....well, not yourself. Edward's noticed it too, and we're worried about you. Edward is worried sick actually, all he can talk about is how you're distant and unwilling almost. It's scaring him, Bella," she said.

I was surprised that I felt angry.

"Well I'm sorry that I have feelings and am stressed out. We all can't be annoying cheerful constantly like you!" I snapped.

Alice pursed her lips.

"Cut the crap Bella, what is wrong?"

I couldn't look her in the eyes. It was all over, but yet I couldn't tell them. I was keeping it in...but how long until it leaked out?

"Bella, I know you two got in a fight, but he loves you, I mean really loves you. Just be honest and talk with him. You don't have to talk with me. Just tell me what to say to him so he can come by."

I thought for a minute before turning to face her.

"You know what? Tell him I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I thought I was okay after Jacob, but I'm really not. Jacob ruined me and being with Edward just hurts too much. Now please leave me alone."

Alice sat there speechless for a moment before opening her mouth, but she shut it quickly. I kept staring at the wall as tears hot as fire dripped from my eyes. Then she silently got up and let herself out. I literally felt like I'd just pulled my own heart out.

* * *

By six o'clock I was pacing. The words I couldn't say were building up and I was trying to figure out what to do. That's when I noticed the small piece of paper on the table where I kept my keys. I opened it and in messy scrawl it said:

_Jacob's Cell- 555-6987_

_Seattle City Inn_

He must have left it there before he left. I dropped the paper and ran into my room through on some decent clothes and ran my fingers through my hair, surprised it actually looked kind of sexy that way. And then I grabbed his number and dialed.

"Hello?"

His voice was deeper.

"Jacob...it's Bella."

I could hear his gasp. I wanted to smile.

"Bella! I am so sorry! I-"

"Meet me at the cafe at the corner of Wallburgh Avenue, okay?"

"Okay, I'll see ya."

I hung up and took a breath. I shook my hair once more before heading out the door.

* * *

The first thing I noticed about Jacob when I walked through the door was that his smile was always warm. That was what I fell in love with. Just one smile and I melted. So when I sat down and saw that smile, it was like the old Jacob was back.

"Hi. Thanks for meeting me," I said, trying not to cry. It was hard, seeing him like this. Wondering what would have happened if I had waited just a little longer to tell him that night.

"Of course. I would do anything for you, Bella," he answered earnestly.

I nodded. "And that's why I wanted to see you. I think we need to talk, I mean just put everything behind us."

He started to say something about the last time but I stopped him.

"Let's not talk about four years ago, okay? Water under the bridge, right?"

He laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Alright. I'm glad you called me Bells, I missed you so much. I fucked up, big time."

I nodded. "We both did, always so stubborn."

We laughed at this. It was quiet for awhile.

"So, your boyfriend. Do you love him?"

I looked down at this. "I do, I love him more than anything."

A small tear escaped from my eye as I realized what I had told Alice to say to him. It finally registered in my mind.

"Bells, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

I shook my head. "No, no it's not your fault. We just got in a huge fight today after you left. And I just don't know what's going to happen. I don't think I could handle him leaving me."

Jacob reached his hands across the table and held mine tightly.

"I'm here for you, Bella. I mean it this time. If you ever, ever need me....I'm here. I mean I really am, I just got a job and an apartment not too far from yours actually."

I looked up and oddly enough, it made me feel better.

"Thanks, really. God I've missed you."

I scooted my chair next to his and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.

"It'll be alright. He'll come back, I saw the way he looked at you today, how he protected you and kicked me out, he'd be a real idiot to give you up."

I laughed and just held onto him tighter.

* * *

Jacob walked me home and we laughed about old times as we walked. It was so nice to have him back. I felt like the old Bella around me. The Bella that was happy and carefree. It was almost like things were happy again, truly. I forgot about Edward and Alice and the bar. I forgot about Andrew and the paper. I was just Bella. Just Bella.

We got to the lobby and stood awkwardly, not wanting to go. But it was late and I had to call Emmett and apologize for not going into work and for not calling in sick or taking my phone.

"Thanks, Jacob. I had a great time with you."

He smiled and my heart thudded. He laughed at the effect and hugged me.

"Goodnight, Bella."

And then he kissed my forehead and left. I watched him go before going up to my apartment.

But when I got to the door, something was different. I smelled someone. It was a smell I could smell from a mile away. Quickly I opened the door and saw Edward standing there. The room was dark, but light up by the hundreds of candles placed everywhere, on every surface possible. And on the floor were bunches of red rose petals, literally all over. And in his hands was a dozen of red roses. Our eyes burned with desire and I let the door close behind me.

"Edward..."

The roses dropped from his hands to the ground.

"Bella I'm so sorry."

And that was all it took. I dropped my bag and sprinted into his arms. He held me so tightly that I thought my lungs would burst, but I pushed myself closer. Tears fell from both of our eyes as he picked me up and spun around in a circle.

"I'm so so sorry Bella! I love you so much and when Alice told me what you said I couldn't bare it."

I knotted my fingers in his hair tightly.

"I'm sorry too, I should have told you! Please forgive me!"

And for a brief moment we stared into each others eyes. Passion burned and our mouths met. It wasn't gentle at all, but rough and hard. It was steamy and sexy, but still delicate and beautiful as our tongues twisted and danced. Our hands felt each other all over, tracing every surface of our bodies that were burned into our memories. He layed me down on the bed of rose petals and our clothes peeled off one by one.

It finally felt right, like this was where I was supposed to be. It was like all the pieces of my puzzle were coming together. Nothing could ruin my life at this point...

Nothing.

* * *

**Nothing eh?? Not exactly a cliffy you might say, but I think it is. Things may be perfect...but not for long hahaha! Reviews please!!! 3**


	37. Revealed

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Once again...I feel so bad for taking forever!! I wish I had more time! Ah..school :( But thanks for the wonderful reviews and for baring with me!! I love you all!**

**Bella POV**

It was May 3rd when I woke up, the sun shining beautifully through my window. I turned to my side and saw the small note on the pillow where Edward had been only hours ago.

_I miss you already, love._

I couldn't help but smile happily. I loved it everytime he left little notes for me to read in the mornings. After our little fight, things hadn't been this good in awhile. It was like we were brand new again. By day I spent my time mostly with Alice and Rosalie...and Jacob when I had extra time. Then by nights I worked at my favorite place and then spent the next six hours in bed with Edward, except for every Thursday and Saturday when Susan rested quietly in the bassinet next to us. Everything bad in my life had floated away and good things glided in. Rosalie was due in two months and the baby's room had been completed. Emmett was still in the dark about the little girl he was having and it was hard not telling him.

The last week of April Rosalie and Emmett had a small wedding ceremony with just us along with Carlisle and Esme. It was beautiful, not to mention the 20,000 dollar dress Rosalie wore**(picture in profile)**. She was stunning in it, all glowy and tall. Even though her giant belly was hidden under it, she still looked like the sexiest super model I'd ever seen. Rosalie was determined to have this baby right, with two married parents.

After the wedding Alice and Jasper announced their own wedding date: October 24. She loved October and wanted to have good wedding pictures, with the fall leaves and orange trees in the background. Of course Alice would be thinking about ever single detail when planning her wedding.

So with everything so perfect, why on this particular day when I woke up, did it all feel _too_ perfect. I sat up and stretched and made the coffee, which also tasted perfect. Everything was going so well. An eerie feeling set in the pit of my stomach. I didn't like it at all.

I shrugged off the feeling and answered my phone as it rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi beautiful."

Blush took over my face immediately.

"Hey."

"Uhm, be early to work today, okay?"

I crinkled one eye, like I always did when I was suspicious.

"Why?"

He chuckled. "Just be there, okay? I love you."

"I love you too."

I bit my tongue as I hung up and smiled. Now what was it? He was always planning little surprises for me.

* * *

That night I dressed my cutest in a deep blue satin dress with a wide black patent leather belt and matching wedges. I actually took the time to curl my usually un-tamable hair and even dabbed on some mascara. Tonight felt like it was going to be _**epic.**_

I arrived there 30 minutes earlier than normal, just to be safe. The line was already starting to form, even though we didn't open for three more hours. I made my way inside and let a smile light up my face, but was only disappointed to not see Edward. Instead Rosalie was leaned over the bar, reading the daily newspaper, a deep concentration on her face that she didn't even hear me enter. I clacked down the stairs and made my way across the dance floor.

"Hey Rose."

She blinked and then looked up at me, a tight glare set on her face. All pregnancy glow vanished...her face was pale.

"Rosalie, are you okay? What's wrong?"

She grabbed the newspaper and clutching it in her hand, she waved it in my face.

"What the _hell_ is this!" she demanded.

I took the paper from her and tried to focus on it...but I already knew what it was. Please...no.

With shakey hands I evened it out, just enough to see the title _Undercover At The Twilight Studio: an inside look to the fabulous life of Edward Cullen and family._

Below it was a picture of my face, an old picture from the previous summer when I first got the job. Before Alice and Rosalie transformed me...before I'd fallen in love with Edward...before everything.

"No...no..."

It was all I could get out of my mouth. Andrew wasn't supposed to publish this! I quit, I left! Why was this happening? He couldn't!

But he did.

"So...are you going to explain this? All your lies? How you got our trust and exposed us!" Rosalie yelled, her voice getting louder.

Alice, Emmett, and Jasper came running from the back.

"Rose, what's going on?" Emmett asked, pulling her close. Rosalie pushed him off with impressive force and stamped her foot.

"Answer me dammit!" I flinched back at these words. "You used us....you used us for your stupid story! For fame, huh?"

Alice grabbed the paper and the three of them looked it over.

"Rosalie, please! Just let me explain...pleas-"

She cut me off. "Explain what? That your just some stupid bitch who thought she could come in and make her way into the family so she could get every detail, every word? It was all lies! Everything you've ever said!"

"No, that's not true! I-"

"And us? That's one thing...but Edward? How could you do this to him? After everything he's been through? You have no heart, do you? No humanity. You're a pathetic excuse for human."

Rosalie's words cut me like a knife.

"Do what to me?"

All eyes turned and focused on Edward. He was standing at the top, a large bouquet of red roses in his hand. Tears fell fast from my eyes. He noticed this and with alarm dropped the flowers and ran over to me.

"Bella, Bella what's wrong?" he asked, wiping the tears from my face. It turned away, ashamed.

"Don't touch her! Don't ever touch her again!" Rosalie wailed.

I looked over to Alice. Her face wasn't angry, but it was sad. Betrayed. Confused. Expressionles....and that was far worse than any anger she could have unleashed. By then Edward had the paper and Rosalie was two words away from clawing my face off.

"Bella....what is this?" Edward asked.

He knew what it was though. Here came the end. I could feel it in every part of my body.

I turned to face him now. His eyes were dark and sad.

"Please...please tell me this is a joke...?" there was question in his eyes.

I shook my head. "Please, that was a long time ago! Before I knew you all, before I loved all you! I quit, he wasn't supposed to publish this! You've got to believe me! I never wanted to hurt you!

"Edward, look at me!" for he had turned away, "I love you with all my heart and soul! You are the guy for me! Everything I've ever said is true, this story tore me apart! That's why I was so upset and moody all the time! But after I quit, things got better! Please, just please hear me out!"

Edward stopped looking at me. I looked around and saw Emmett's face. It wasn't angry at all. His face was tight, but his eyes were sympathetic. He would give me a chance, he had to.

"Emmett, please!"

He saw the plead in my eyes and cleared his throat.

"Maybe we should-"

But he was cut off with a hard slap up the head from Rosalie.

"Shut up! Can't you see? She was tearing us all apart! She was trying to ruin us!"

More tears fell from my face.

"How could you do this to us Bella?" Alice's light voice asked.

I shook my head, but no words came out. I still couldn't bare to look at Edward. How could I? But I did anyway.

Our eyes locked for a split second, and then slowly he pulled a small, black satin box from his pocket.

No...oh God no! Please....

He set it on the bar counter and then slowly, almost in slow motion, a tear ran from his eye and he turned and walked out. It was silent as we all watched him, but as soon as the door shut all our eyes focused on that box.

I couldn't believe it. What was supposed to be the best night of my life easily turned into the worst.

"You better get the fuck out of here before I drag you by the ear!" Rosalie threatened.

I nodded slowly and began the death walk to the door. When I reached it, I turned around. They all looked at me.

"I'm so sorry," I muttered, but sobs heaved from my chest so it was barely audible. I sniffed once and left.

* * *

I didn't make it very far...only to the alley next to the building. I leaned against the wall and buried my face deep into my arms and started crying. No....sobbing for dear life. I could hardly breath, let alone cry. So this is what it felt like...to have your whole world torn apart. This is what death felt like.

I wanted to die.

Right then, if given the option, I would have accepted. I couldn't go on this way. Not only did I lose the love of my life, but I lost a whole family.

The hours lagged on. I had no idea how long I sat there, wallowing in self-pity. I couldn't move. I was immobile. Maybe I was dead already. Who knew. I couldn't even hear anything, not even footsteps. So I jumped on hearing someone talk.

"Hey, beautiful."

My head snapped up at the voice. That chilling voice that felt like death itself. The voice that I never wanted to hear again.

"Y-you..."

He laughed and threw back his head.

"So you do remember me? It's been awhile, I know, but I'm glad we finally get to be together again...Bella."

I shrank back against the wall, my eyes irised in on the most haunting face I've ever imagined. He stared down on me like a hawk would on it's lunch from the sky. And I stared up, prey vs. predator.

I stared up into the dark, evil eyes of James.

* * *

**.. Leave some love for the moment you've been waiting for since chapter 1!!!**


	38. Goodbye

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Yay! I'm glad that most of you liked it! I know it didn't seem as epic as it was built up to be...but the night is still not over yet ;) Besides, the Cullen's are strong, but not ones to _completely_ damage a person!!**

**_Warning: Scenes contain sexual harrassment and violence....eh, you can handle it ;)_**

**Bella POV**

I scooted as close to the wall as possible, letting my whole body quiver as I did so. James only laughed and crouched down on one knee in front of me.

"Oh, I've been watching you, Bella Swan. Yes I have, for weeks now. Your every move coming in and out of that bar. Of course I had to stay hidden, wouldn't want that boyfriend of yours to go crazy now, would we?" he whispered, moving a strand of my hair from my face.

The word _boyfriend_ brought on a whole new round of tears and sobs. This only made me look more helpless...vulnerable.

"What? Don't tell me that you two aren't together anymore," he asked in mock concern. My sobbing brought back his evil smile of pearly whites. "That's a shame, I wouldn't never break up with you, Bella. Of course you never gave me a chance."

My spine was tingling like crazy and every internal alarm went off like the last time he touched me. I would have rather died than go through what I had just been through and then this. I would have rather died ten times over. I would have rather killed myself...and I wanted to.

"Oh Bella, you've made me very angry. Because you see, I planned to be with you. I planned to love you over and over again, harder and harder. Oh how I've made plans in my head for months now! And you threw it all away. But tonight, oh tonight is the best night, wouldn't you say? In a dark alley with no one around? Can't you just see the possibilities?"

I kept getting false hope that any minute Edward would run around the corner and save me. But minutes ticked by. He wasn't coming. Edward would not be saving me tonight. Hell, I couldn't even save myself.

So I stupidly scooted farther back, and James just crouched closer. So close that his face was a mere inch from mine.

"God your beautiful," he whispered, letting his hand trail down my face, down my arm, down my side, down my leg...

Goosebumps rose on my arms and legs and my body started convulsing once again. James laughed and rubbed his hands together.

"Well, I guess there's no use in putting this off," he chuckled to himself," I hope you like it rough."

And very suddenly he was on top of me, holding my flailing arms and legs down with all his strength. His hot breath covered my exposed neck and his lips burning my skin all around, nipping every once in awhile. I started screaming but that just made him press his lips with impressive force to mine. I bit him once but James just came up and slapped me hard on the face.

"Get off me! Please! Just get off!" I screamed while my mouth was free.

His hands ripped off my belt and hiked up my dress. Panic really flooded through my now. I tried to kicking him, but he knew he was going to win this time. James slapped my face twice again, cutting my lip and leaving me with a black eye. I kept struggling though.

James managed to get his pants unbuttoned and unzipped at this point. It was so close, I could feel it. But yet I continued screaming. James thrust his tongue into my mouth and pressed his body harder against mine.

And in the midst of this all, I could hear the music from the club pulsing next to me. I could feel the dancers, out there sweating, having a good time. I could pictures the locals getting drunk and howeling along with the songs. My head started pulsing too, gearing up for something.

I pushed myself up hard against James, my last attempt of getting him off. He growled and slapped my face back down to the ground. I was dizzy then, and just lay there.

"Where's your precious Edward when you need him now, huh?" James screamed in my face.

I tried to block him out and listened to the music...but it was gone. There had been no music. The bar was closed. It was over. There was no one here with me.

"It's all over Bella!" he yelled.

So my body shut down. I didn't fight back anymore. Maybe he'd just kill me after this. I wanted to cry at how much I wanted this. I wanted to die, and I just didn't care anymore. Let him have my body for whatever he wanted. I had no reason to live anymore.

James kept going. It was happening, yet I could barely feel it. I couldn't feel anything. Not the blood oosing from my head and lip, not the pain of my arm which he smashed against the ground...not anything. I didn't even feel it when James was magically pulled off me.

But I saw it. One second he was there, finishing what he started, and the next he was gone. I saw Emmett punching the crap out of him against the wall until James sprinted away...and I knew he wasn't coming back. I sat up, still half-unconscious and saw Emmett staring at me in horror.

"Bella-"

"Come, let's go!" Rosalie roared.

"Rose, look at her! He just...he just half-rap-"

"I don't give a shit!" Rosalie yelled. "She deserved it! You did your deed, now let's go. She'll be fine."

I tried to say thank you, but my eyes went black and my head hit the ground. I could still hear them talking.

"We can't just leave here there."

"Yes we can, she had it coming."

And then nothing.

* * *

When my eyes opened again, I wasn't outside anymore. I was on a bed, but it wasn't my bed. I sat up, but then fell right back down. My whole entire body was throbbing. I winced at the pain of my head, especially.

The room was dark except for the small lamp that lit it up. In the corner was Jacob, asleep. I realized that all my wounds were bandaged and cleaned and I was in fresh clothes. How did I get here? Surely Jacob...

How would he even know?

Tears flooded my eyes and fell down my cheeks. Jacob had saved me...not Edward. But that wasn't what really killed me...it was the fact that I was alive.

I was alive and I didn't have Edward or my family. Jacob heard me and came to my side immediately.

"Bella, Bella! Oh God, I'm so glad your awake."

He threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"I was scared half to death."

I was still dazed so I pulled away. "How did you find me?"

Jacob wiped away his tears. "Emmett called me and told me what happened. Bella...why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged and looked down at my scabby knuckles. "It hurt too much."

Jacob started crying again. "Bella, you just gave up! He said you were just lying there, not even fighting back! How could you do that?"

I turned away from him and buried my head into the pillow. I started sobbing again. I couldn't do this. It was too hard. I had no words for this kind of pain.

Jacob stopped talking and rubbed my back. "I'm here, okay? We don't have to talk. I'm just glad your okay."

And we didn't talk. Eventually he left me alone in which I cried myself into a deep sleep.

When I woke up it was very quiet. I got out of the bed and walked slowly into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I checked myself out in the mirror. My whole face was bruised black and blue. My lip had a small cut in the corner and I had a bandage around my head. My arm was wrapped up and when I lifted my shirt, there was a large bruise from him pressed down with his fist. I didn't even want to look at the bottom half of my body.

Taking in a deep breath and releasing more tears, I opened the medicine cabinet. Nothing too strong was in there except for a small bottle of perscritption pills. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and with shakey hands, poured half the bottle into my open palm.

I stuffed them all into my mouth and took a large swig of water to wash them down.

It was done.

I let all the tears fall from my face as I thought of every happy memory I ever had with Edward. It became harder with every minute. My mind beacme clouded and foggy and my balance swayed.

Here came the end. I knew it.

And right before the blackness came, a new kind of calm washed over me. A feeling that said _It's Gonna Be Okay_. And it didn't hurt anymore. The pain was gone. A clean slate.

I hit the ground with a loud thump.

_Goodbye, Edward._

_I love you._

* * *

**Dun...Dun...Dun...now THAT, is probably the biggest cliffy I've ever given. What do you think? Leave some love 3**


	39. Second Chance

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Thanks for all the amazing support on that last post! I think I've kept you all waiting long enough, huh? **

**Bella POV**

When I found myself again, I was on the beach. One of those pretty beaches that people use as their screensavers. The kind with aqua water and white sand. The palm trees swayed in the light breeze and I smiled because it was warm and I was happy. Not just the fake kind of happy I usually put on, but a genuine happy. Like I'd never had a problem in my life. I felt almost stoned because I was so happy.

I let my feet take me to a large, white bed on the sand. It had a billowing canopy and sitting on it was Edward. He was smiling too, waiting for me with open arms. And then I reached him. He pulled me back and we lay there, cuddled in each others arms and things were finally perfect. I didn't regret the pills...they brought me back to Edward...to perfect bliss and happiness.

"I love you so much," he whispered into my hair.

I sighed in content. Finally, I was in a good place.

* * *

But suddenly it all disappeared. I was in an all white room. I couldn't move, I couldn't talk. But I could hear.

Edward was gone and in his place I could hear voices. Strange voices that didn't match. I didn't know what was going on.

At first it was a loud banging noise and a lot of yelling. Jacob. Jacob was yelling.

_"Bella? Bella! Open up! What are you doing?"_

_"Bella open the door! Please, please just let me in!"_

And then he became frantic.

_"Bella dammit! What did you do? Can you hear me?"_

And then the banging stopped. I sat there confused, why was he banging? What happened? Where was Edward?

A loud crash interupted my thoughts.

_"Bella! Oh my god! Bella! Please...please no! Please God, no! Bella, wake up. Can you hear me? Please Bella, please! Why did you do this, why-"_

And then his voice was replaced with intense sobbing.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

My eyes suddenly opened up. It was dark, the lamp shut off. I thought Bella might be sleeping still so I stood up to see her. Just thinking of her brought pain to my body. How could this have happened to her? She didn't deserve that, any of it. If only they could see, just see that she loves them...

I stopped in my tracks, the bed was empty. I turned to face the bathroom door, the light was on. My fluttering heart settled and I crept to the door and lightly knocked.

"Bella? Are you in there?"

No answer. Maybe she didn't hear me.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked a little louder.

Still no answer. I looked at the light, to see if it moved so I could tell if she was moving, but it wasn't.

A little worried, I started knocking louder. And then I got freaked out.

"Bella? Bella! Open up! What are you doing?"

Silence still! My heart raced as I started pounding on the door.

"Bella dammit! What did you do? Can you hear me?"

Of course she can't hear you dumbass! God, I knew I shouldn't have fallen asleep. What if I was too late? How long was she in there for?

Then I stood back and kicked the door open with my foot, destroying on the lock.

Bella lay crumpled on the floor. Her face was pale and she wasn't breathing. I saw my perscription pills, half gone, in the sink. I dropped to my knees and picked her top half up, holding her against my chest and shaking her.

"Bella! Oh my god! Bella! Please...please no! Please God, no!" I cried, letting my tears hit her face.

I layed her back down and tilted back her head and opened her mouth. She had a faint pulse and I quickly started CPR. This time when I touched her lips to mine, there was no sweetness or happy. There was no love or passion. There was nothing worry. It wasn't working.

"Please God, no! Bella, wake up. Can you hear me? Please Bella, please! Why did you do this, why-"

I couldn't speak anymore. Sobbing took over my body.

No! I couldn't lose her this way. I pulled out my cell and dialed 911.

* * *

**Bella POV**

It was quiet for awhile. The calm I felt slipped away. Where was Edward? Why was Jacob crying?

More voices came. They were rushed and paniced, talking about death and not breathing. Talking about unconsciousness and me. I couldn't understand it.

And then I suddenly floated away. The white vanished and it was as if I were looking down on the world. Because I saw myself, only I wasn't me. This was someone else. This girl was lying unconscious in a hospital bed with tubes up her nose and tubes stuck on her hand. She was hooked up to heart moniters and drips and all sorts of things. But the worst part was that there was no Edward sitting next to her, holding her hand. There was Jacob.

No, this was all wrong! Edward was supposed to be there! Why wasn't he there?

And then all the memories came rushing back to me. It was so overwhelming that I could hardly breath.

Edward wasn't there because he was gone....and he wasn't ever coming back to me.

It felt like I had been sleeping forever, but my eyes finally opened. All the dreams I had were forgotten. The happiness, the bliss...all gone. It was blurry, but my eyes soon focused on Jacob, wide awake and sighing with relief at me being ok.

"Oh thank God!" he cried, letting tears spring to his eyes.

I let him squeeze my hand a cry for a long time. And I cried too....because I so badly wished that this were Edward here.

"Bella, what were you thinking?" he demanded.

I shook my head and started to choke on my sobs.

"It....it just hurt s-so ba-ad."

I took a second to let the sobs pass. "I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. I had nothing anymore."

Jacob shook his head. "Bella, you had everything! You have me, and Charlie, and everyone back home. You still have everything to live for, and you threw it all away."

I tried to speak again, but he shushed me.

"Shh, don't talk, okay? It might be hard, they had to pump your stomach. God Bella, taking all those pills? You could have talked to me."

I stared into his eyes...trying to find something to say, but I couldn't. I closed my mouth and then pulled my hand away. He looked even more hurt. I cried some more and turned away from him and buried my face into the pillow. I wasn't ready to face anyone.

I don't know how long I stayed that way. I don't even know if Jacob stayed awake the whole time. The only thing I knew for sure was that he was there...and even though I was too upset to aknowledge it, I was grateful for that at least. At least throught this all, he would be there for me no matter how much I resented him saving my life. He saved me...twice.

Finally, after all my tears had dried up and the sobs left my body, I spoke, breaking the harsh silence.

"You didn't tell them, did you?" I whispered.

It was so quiet and still that I wasn't sure if he heard me.

I was about to clarify whether he told the doctors about what happened before he found me...but then he answered.

"No. I didn't," he said.

I nodded.

"I didn't think you needed that...not now."

Another round of tears flooded my eyes. Jacob of all people would know I hate controversy and people making a big deal of myself. I was relieved. I didn't want anyone knowing what had happened. I didn't want them running tests and calling the police. I knew that I should tell the cops, that would be the normal thing to do. But honestly....I knew James wasn't coming back this time. I didn't want to get into the whole report and court thing. I just wanted to forget it.

I took a deep breath and turned back to face Jacob. He was watching me intently.

"Thank you."

He tried to shush me,"Bella-"

But I wasn't done.

"Not just for coming to get me....but for saving me. I don't see it now, but I will later. Eventually I'll realize that my life is valuable....but for now, thanks. Especially for just being here with me. I don't think I could stand being alone."

He gently caressed the skin of my cheek and nodded. "You are valuable, Bella. To me, most of all. I don't think I could have taken it if I had been too late, or if you had taken more of those stupid pills. I just want you to know that I really am here, okay?"

I nodded quickly.

"I just...ugh, I just really wish I could kill that guy for what he did to you! God, I just want to-"

Jacob couldn't even finish what he was saying because his whole body started to shake with fury. I patted his arm in worry.

"Jacob, calm....it's okay. He didn't even get to finish the job. I'm fine, I'm fine."

His eyes filled with disgust. "_Fine?_" he sneered. "Fine? Bella look at you! You're bruised from head to toe! You have a serious cut on the back of your head and hand marks all over you! You just tried to commit suicide and you say you're fine?"

I was about to speak again when a nurse entered the room. Jacob's body relaxed back into the chair, releasing my hand. I cleared my throat and watched the nurse as she checked my IV and heart monitor.

"How're you feeling sweetheart?" the lady asked, fluffing my pillow.

I winced as she removed the bandage around my head and replaced it with a new one.

"Uhm...sore? But better, I guess."

She nodded and then wrote some stuff down on my chart before leaving the room. I wondered if she knew why I was in here?

"So I guess this means I'm crazy, huh?" I said, trying to break the awkward silence.

Jacob snorted and rolled his eyes. "You're on suicide watch for the next month and they're bringing in a counselor for you...so I'd say your close to crazy."

I sighed. "Oh goody."

Jacob smiled and picked up my hand again. That was something I missed, his smile.

"Better?" he asked.

I shrugged, but half smiled anyway. "No, not really."

* * *

**....leave some love!! 3 **


	40. Aftermath

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**I know I know, no Cullen's last chapter. I know some of you thought it was pointless...but I didn't. I thought it was important for you to all know that Bella found peace in her "death", which didn't work thank god. So ya...hope you like this one!**

**Bella POV**

"So how has your week been going so far Bella?" Nancy asked me, pushing her brown framed glasses up her nose.

It had been one month, two weeks, and three days since I had tried to commit suicide...since He left me. After Jacob left the hospital that night, a woman named Dr. Nancy St. James came to visit me. She was older, maybe late forties early fifties, but aged well. She had olive toned skin and dark brown hair with a few gray streaks in it. She dressed in warm colors that were very soothing and looked extremely comfortable. She wore trouser pants and thick sweaters and she had a pair of glasses to go with every outfit which were connected to a beautifully beaded chain she kept around her neck. She had been married for 30 years and had a daughter that was 23 and newly married. Nancy's favorite color was caramel and she was pretty much addicted to coffee and loved the smell of vanilla. She hated horror flicks and instead watched romances whenever she could. She originally went to school to be a pediatritian but when her best friend was killed in a car accident she went into counseling and found it so helpful that she wanted to help people that way too. And I learned all this just in the first 30 minutes of meeting her.

She was my counselor.

I had been on suicide watch for a full month and forced into counseling with Nancy four times a week for two hours. After the first month had worn on, she decided to give me freedom and moved it down to twice a week for an hour and a half.

I pulled my legs up indian style and relaxed into the couch. It was one of those huge, brown leather couches that could swallow a five year old. A large, knit afgahn layed across the top and pillows decorated each arm. I let my eyes wander around her office and took everything in, just like I did everytime. The office was small and cozy, the walls painted deep brown and eggplant. One wall was completely lined with shelves that were filled with all kinds of books. Her desk was in one corner with a gigantic MAC computer on it. The side of the room held her large over-stuffed armchair and the couch which I sat on. A coffee table was in the middle with held various magazines and our coffee mugs.

"It's okay...I guess. My old friend from work called me and said my editor wanted to meet with me. He wants me to come back."

She scribbled that down lightening quick and nodded.

"And what did you do after that?"

I bit my lip. Telling her would completely ruin my terrible progress.

"I broke my phone and then cried for two hours straight because it made me remember E-"

But I stopped myself from saying his name. In the first week Nancy discovered that saying his name brought me into either hysterical mode or catatonic mode. So we decided that I wasn't allowed to say his name. I was to not lock up all my memories and bury my emotions, but to let them out. Thing of every little thing one last time and discuss all of our moments together and then just let them go. So I did, and it worked most of the time. But when I was alone at night and my bed was empty, He was all I could think about. His smell had left my pillows and sheets after two weeks and then it was like I had nothing left of him. I hadn't heard from him or heard of him at all. It was as if he had never existed...

"It's alright Bella, just let it out."

Nancy grabbed the box of tissues and handed it to me. I pulled one out and wiped my eyes quickly.

"I'm sorry, it's just still so hard. Sometimes I just feel like I can't make it another. I just wish that Jacob wouldn't have found me so quick. I just feel so guilty all the time and it's like I have no air. I can't breath or do anything. My life doesn't make sense without Him. I want to die. I want to," I blubbered, letting the sobs heave out my chest.

"No, no you don't want to die Bella. We've talked about this. I know it's hard, but we can get through this. I know it feels like the end of the world, but it's not. You're young and beautiful, you've got so much going for you," Nancy whispered fiercly, yet oddly calmingly.

Two weeks ago I opened the paper and nearly passed out. The first page had Edward's stunningly gorgeous face on the cover. I scanned the title quickly: _Edward Cullen, owner of CGC, strikes deal worth 2.5 million._

I stared at his face for a long time and even saved the article, hiding it under my couch cusion. But that was nothing compared to the article I saw three days ago. Once again Edward was on the front, only this time he had little Susan in his arms and he was kissing her small cheek. Tanya was in the background with a huge smile on her face and the title read: _Billionaire Edward also a family man. _

And that was that. He was all about family, and I was kicked out of it, replaced with Tanya. Why would he still need me? He had the daughter and the perfect girl. Tanya would never betray him...except she did, and he forgave her. So why couldn't he still love me? Was it because I wasn't the mother of his child? I burned that article and tried my hardest to not want to die over losing my family. So I immediately drove to see Nancy and stayed for three hours while she talked me out of suicide again.

* * *

"Bella, I'm just going to cut to the chase here, okay?" Andrew said, clasping his hands together and leaning forward over his desk. "I'm sorry, about everything that went down. I thought you were into me..but I was wrong, and that's okay. All I'm saying here is...well, I want you back. You were a fantastic writer and let me tell ya, your story has brought in more readers than any story since 1987. Sales are hitting the roof! People are looking forward to the next installment every Sunday, it's crazy!"

I glared at him and folded my arms. "Well, they'll be upset that there's no ending, huh? Kind of all your fault."

Andrew's face twitched, a sign of him wanting to strangle me, but he composed himself.

"No, actually. See, I just need you to write one last article, a conclusion of sorts. Saying what it was like and what you'd like to say to everyone out there...okay? And then after that...you get your own column, and you can write about anything!"

My lips quivered through that whole shpeal, but when I realized that I could write the conclusion, the ending...my eyes lit up. What if they read it? Could this be my chance to apologize...and do it right?

I sat up. "You know what, okay. But one condition."

Andrew nodded. "Anything, except recalling the story..just can't do that."

I rolled my eyes. "I want a raise, a 10 percent raise."

Andrew considered this and then nodded. "Alright, fine. You got it. Be in tomorrow. We've got two more installments left before I need that conclusion so have it on my desk say...a week from Friday?"

I nodded and stood up. We shook hands and a greedy smile came over both our faces. "Pleasure doin business with you."

* * *

**Alice POV**

The night dragged on forever. Rosalie stayed out front, showing off her giant 8 1/2 month pregnant belly and Emmett was still training the new girl, Lauren. She was a total social climber and obsessed with her looks. She was always shaking out her long, cornsilk colored hair and batting her dark blue eyes as if she could allure any guy she wanted...and she usually went home with a different guy every night. But no...that wasn't what got me. What I really hated was that she was a bitch. She was rude and judgemental and a snob. Every night I watched her with rage, wishing that it were Bella. Sweet, beautiful Bella. Sometimes I caught Emmett gazing off into the distance, and I knew he was wishing she were back too.

I knew that out of all of us, Emmett was the least angry. In fact, he wasn't even mad at all. He said that everyone makes mistakes and what mattered was that she loved us all. But things didn't phase him like they did us. I had lost my best friend...and my sister. It was strange how empty I felt. And if I felt this bad, I could only imagine how Edward felt. I hadn't seen him but once since the incident. He stopped coming to the bar. He stopped calling and instead through himself into work or he was with Susan and Tanya. Although he refused to say anything, I figured something was going on.

But the worst was Rosalie. She was always in good spirits with Bella. There was just something that made her so nice and happy. But now Rosalie was back to her bitter self. She was angry and rude, always screaming. Emmett tried to make excuses, saying it was the hormones or she was upset at how fat she was...but we all knew why. Because Rosalie trusted Bella almost as much as Edward did. She was the first to know about the pregnancy and she felt just as betrayed as Edward. So instead of showing how hurt she was...she channeled it into anger.

"Alice?"

Jasper's voice broke my trance and shoved the wedding magazine I was trying to look at into my bag.

"S-sorry, I was just thinking."

I stood up and gave him a quick kiss before donning on my sweater, even though it was the middle of June.

"We're heading over to the diner for something to eat, do you wanna go or should we just go home?"

Everytime Rose and Emmett wanted to go to the diner, I skipped out. It just wasn't the same without Bella. I had no one to dance drunkenly with or act like a retard with.

"No, not tonight."

He nodded in understandment. "Not a good night?"

I shook my head. "Is it ever anymore?"

* * *

**There ya go! I hope you liked it! And I threw in some Cullen for ya...I wasn't planning on that originally, but I decided hey, what the hell? Leave some love!! 3**


	41. Alive

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Yay, next chapter haha! And just incase you're all wondering..no, I'm not giving hints! Haha, endure the suspense! So...enjoy!!!**

**Bella POV**

The computer screen stayed blank in front of me for an hour straight. How did I even begin to write the apology of all time? What if they didn't even read my articles? There was a slim to none chance they did, seeing since they all hated me. So why was I doing this? Closure? No, Nancy gave me enough of that. To feel better? Yeah right, I felt like crap all day long, everyday.

So why was I doing this? It wasn't like I wanted to go back to Andrew. But then it came back. Because I love writing. Writing was always that one thing that could make things good. I was good at it, it was the _only_ thing I was good at. Writing was the reason I came to Seattle, the reason I met Edward and the Cullen's. It was like a gateway out of this world and to something better. It always sparked a passion in me that just someone made everyting worth it again. Whenever I felt guilty or pathetic when I was with Edward, I'd start up my article and flames burst in my head with ideas and happiness and the words seemed to flow from my fingertips.

So I took a deep breath and started tapping furiously at the computer keys, watching the screen fill up with words. All sorts of words that just spilled from my head. They were words I'd kept locked up for one month, two weeks, and four days. Even words from back in October when I got the job. And before I knew it, they were all out...and for the first time in a long time, I could breath again.

I mean really breath. I exhaled and stretched out. All the aches and pains were gone. The air spread through me, opening up all my airways with something that felt good.

I felt alive again.

* * *

"What is this?" Jacob asked, picking up the papers I tossed in front of him.

I sat down and ordered a latte before turning to his face.

"My last article for the _Seattle Tribune_." I answered.

He raised his eyebrow. "Last?"

I nodded quickly. "Yep. I've got an interview tomorrow with _The Seattle Daily_. Yesterday, I just suddenly remembered how much I loved to write. And it felt good. And I feel good. Jacob, I haven't felt this good in such a long time, I can't even tell you. I just needed to write, but not with Andrew. So I'm moving jobs."

A huge smile crossed Jacob's face and he leaned over to hug me.

"You have no idea how good it makes me feel to see you this happy. I knew the old you would come around sometime," he said, scanning my article.

I nodded. "I'd like to call it the New Me, actually."

My latte came and I took small sips while watching Jacob's expression. It seemed good...I think?

"Do you like it?"

When he finished, he handed it back.

"Bella...that's-"

I stopped him. "It's okay, you don't have to lie. You don't like it, do you?"

Jacob shook his head. "No Bella...that is literally, one of the best things I've ever read. It's got so much soul!"

A proud smile covered my face. God, I'd forgotten how nice it was to smile!

* * *

**Alice POV**

Rosalie suddenly stomped in the office and sad down, a look of rage covering her face.

"Now what?" I asked, going through the bills for the month.

She sighed. "My doctor told me that I couldn't dance anymore because I'm too far along! Can you believe that?"

I rolled my eyes. "When's she popping out? You're like 38 weeks aren't you?"

Rose nodded and sighed. "Yeah, but he wants me to carry her full term because she's small and she needs all the growth she can get. I asked for a C-section next week, but he laughed and said only idiots plan to have their babies when it's absolutely necessary. I just want her out! Alice, look how fat I am!"

It was obvious I would get no work done so I gave her my attention. She was pretty much a stick model with a giant belly. Fat...? No.

"Rosalie, you are so not fat!"

"Well I feel fat! And I'm bored stiff!" She whined. "Plus I can't even drink! What am I supposed to do?"

I shrugged and placed my hand on her rock hard belly and felt a small kick.

"Have you come up with a name yet?"

She shook her head. "Kind of. Emmett and I made a list of boys and girls, because he _still_ refuses to know the sex, but we've got our top name for each. He wants to name his son George. How cute? Maybe one day we'll have a boy too."

I laughed and kept my hand on her belly.

"You aren't going to tell me what you're naming her, are you?"

A wicked glint came to her eyes. "Hell no! That is a surprise for everyone!"

I sighed and then Rosalie placed her hand over mine. We both looked at the same time before pulling away. We used to always do that with Bella, making a sister pact.

I expected Rosalie's face to be angry, but it was soft instead.

"Do you miss her?" she whispered, not meeting my eye.

I nodded. "I do, a lot. Now that time has passed, it doesn't even seem like a big deal anymore."

Rosalie nodded. "I know, but it is. That's what we have to remember. She betrayed us."

"Yeah, but I've been reading her articles, every Sunday. Rose, they're good, I mean like, really good. I mean she writes stuff about us that I never even noticed. And it's the way she writes it. Not like she's observing, but like she's one of us. She just writes with so much love, especially with Edward. I never knew that about her, how she was able to love so much."

Rosalie almost spit at that. "Oh Jesus! Not you too! Emmett reads it, but I refuse to. I think it's a bunch of monkey shit if you ask me!"

And some things...will never change.

* * *

**Bella POV**

I felt so light. Lighter than a marshmellow. No! Lighter than air. I felt happy and good.

I just got the job at _The Seattle Daily_ that paid nearly twice what Andrew paid me and I had my own cornor office and had my own column. I didn't get to choose my stories yet, but that was fine. So for now, every Sunday there would be an article by me called _Seattle Saturdays_ where I pretty much talked about what was going on on Saturday's and where the hot spots were and my Saturday adventures.

I walked down the hall to my door with extra umph! in my step. I even spun around before unlocking the door and bursting in.

I stopped dead when I saw the table set and Jacob placing food on it.

"What is this?" I asked, shutting the door and taking off my sweater.

Jacob blushed like a five year old getting in trouble.

"Well...did you get it? I'm hoping you did or else this will be a 'sorry, maybe next time dinner'."

I rolled my eyes and grinned.

"You are looking at the new Seattle Saturdays girl!"

Jacob yelled out a quickly congratulations before picking me up and spinning me in a circle.

"I'm so proud of you Bells! That's amazing!"

He set me down after I threated to vomit on him, but his smile was contagious. I couldn't help it.

"Thanks, Jacob. For everything. You're the reason I've come so far."

And it was true. Jacob had been supporting me from the beginning, pushing me to succeed and get back into life. He was my angel. I mean, I even started putting on make-up and doing my hair again. I had on a sun dress for peets sake! I was back!

"You look beautiful by the way, Bella," he said nonchalantly.

I looked down at my dress and blushed.

"Well, let's eat!" I said, trying to avoid awkward confrontation.

It was quiet while we ate, except for the radio going softly in the background. For once, we were stuck for words. But it wasn't weird. It was...nice. Comfortable. When I looked up from my food, I noticed Jacob smiling.

"What?" I asked, checking my chin for spilt food.

He laughed, but said nothing.

"Really, what is it?"

He sighed in mock disappointment. "Recognize this song?"

Oh, I'd forgotten about the radio. I listened and then blushed. A song I knew well was playing. But it wasn't just any song, it was _our_ song. It was the song playing the first time I'd slept with him...out by the lake on the dock.

Before I knew it, he was on his feet and holding out his hand.

"Dance with me," he asked.

I looked at him like he was mentally challenged.

"Uh, I don't dance. You know that."

Jacob sighed. "Bella, we're in private. Come on! This is our song, our memories of teenage years! Just indulge me!"

Before I could object again, Jacob had me on my feet and wrapped gently in his arms. I had forgotten almost what it felt like to be held like this. So loving and perfect and safe. And for a moment the music faded and the then the apartment faded until it was just us, swaying softly with the music. Everything vanished and I relaxed into his arms, holding myself tighter to him.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered into my ear.

And for a second,

It was Edward.

My imagination took over and I looked up. I saw Jacob, but what I really saw was Edward. My heart started to race and very slowy he lowered his mouth down. Letting myself go, I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my hands around his neck and pressed my lips to his.

And we kissed. Again. And again. And again. I don't know when it turned from innocent kissing into deep, steamy passion where our mouths became familiar with each others again. Our hands traced all over the bodies they had once known so well. And suddenly we became teenagers again, out on that dock in the summer. So young and innocent.

Our clothes fell off one by one and before I knew it we were laying on top of my bed, flipping over each other and spinning in circles, letting our feet tangle and just holding on tight.

For one second, Jacob's lips left my body and breathed into my ear another quick _I love you._ Our breathing turned into panting quickly and he just kept saying how much he loved me over and over. I didn't say anything back. I couldn't. I didn't love him the way he loved me.

I would always love him in a way, but not the way he wanted.

So for now, I stayed quiet and just begged him to hold me tighter.

* * *

**Whoa! Weren't expecting that huh? haha...hope you didn't freak out TOOOO much...and there may be some edward next chapter :) leave some commentage and feedback!!**


	42. Used

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Okay, so thanks sooo much for all the terrific feedback! It makes me so happy! :) It looks like my last chapter got some mixed reviews though, and I'm sorry if some of you are losing respect for my story because you don't like one little thing. I totally respect your opinion and I'm glad you were honest because that's what I asked for. Just don't stop reading, because we all knew this wasn't going to be a small explosion....it's a nuclear bomb basically...but I promise you....i've had the ending worked out for months and i know you'll all love it, so please just keep your faith in this and try to see why i put in certain things, because i do put in everything for a reason pretty much. Love ya all! And now we're done with the ridiculously long authors note. And remember....there's two sides to the story ;)**

**Enjoy!! (and there will be edward too!)**

**Bella POV**

"Bella..."

My eyes shot open at that voice. The voice I'd kill to hear again. I expected to be in my room, but I wasn't. I was standing in a white room...and it was empty.

"Bella, love. Come to me."

I looked around frantically. Where was he!

"Bella," he purred, obviously seducing me in. "Bella come to me."

My heart raced and then I saw him. He was on the other side, standing with my favorite crooked smile on his face. His hand was out, beckoning me to him.

"Bella, please come to me."

I started walking towards him, but as I did he never got closer. So I ran...and I sprinted. But it was like I was on a treadmill...never going anywhere.

"Edward!" I screamed, reaching to him.

His eyes became sad as he dropped his hand.

"Edward no! Please, wait! Stay with me Edward!"

But it was no use. He slowly disappeared. To cheesily quote Barry Manilow, _So close, but yet so far away._

That was when I sat up quickly in bed, about to scream Edward's name again. But instead I choked it back when I saw I was back in my room, sunlight streamed through the window blinding me. I held my hand over my bare chest, feeling my heart beat as I slowly lay back down. It was a dream...the worst dream.

That was when I noticed the bed was extra warm. I turned to see Jacob peacefully sleeping next to me, his arms wide open. No doubt he had been holding me all night. Hot tears welled up in my eyes as I watched him, watched his chest rise and fall slowly. My sweet Jacob, what had I done? Was I that much of a monster that I needed to have sex with him to get over losing Edward? And with my best friend? My best friend who was in love with me? I was the cruelest kind of evil out there. The tears spilled down my cheeks as I thought about having to tell him that last night meant nothing. That last night...he was Edward in my eyes.

I sat back up and swung my legs to the side of the bed and balanced my head in my lap, running my fingers through my hair and breathing deeply, trying to figure out what to do. I nearly jumped from my skin when soft fingertips ran the length of my bar spine and back up. Over and over. I didn't want to turn around. I couldn't.

"Morning sunshine," he whispered, his voice hoarse from sleep. I stayed silent, trying to turn invisible.

"M-morning."

I felt the bed shift as he leaned over and wrapped his arms around me. Shivers ran down my back and I convulsed away from his touch.

"I'm just uh...going to make some coffee."

I tried to stand up, but his fast hand grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

"Whoa, Bella. What's wrong? You don't have to be worried or nervous, we used protection this time."

I laughed nervously and rolled my eyes. Wouldn't have mattered anyway, I'd gotten on the pill when I was with Edward.

"It's not that," I said, wiping my tears quickly.

Before I heard him take a breath he pulled me down and tucked me into his arms. I started noticed we were both naked, and even though we'd seen each other naked bunches of times, I suddenly felt uncomfortable...like it wasn't right. And it wasn't.

"Bella, tell me. You can tell me," he urged, trying to kiss me, but I dodged and he got my cheek instead.

"Please Jacob," I pleaded, hoping he would understand.

And he did.

He took a deep intake of breath, the breath of understanding.

"Oh."

"I'm...I'm sorry Jacob. I shouldn't have let that happen. I shouldn't have let things get that far."

More tears fell from my eyes.

"No, Bella. It's both of our faults. Don't you dare put all the blame on yourself!"

I laughed like a crazy person. "How can you say that? Look at me! I'm disgusted with myself! I used you for my own selfish reasons, because I needed to be held, I needed someone to make me feel safe and to feel me and just make it go away...and I used you!"

"You needed someone, and that someone wasn't me...and that's okay Bella! You've just been through hell and back, it's okay to be a little messed up."

I looked at him like he just said murder was okay. "Messed up? Jacob, I think I'm a bit more than messed up. Try screwed up beyond repair!"

He grabbed my face and made me look him in the eye. "Bella, I love you. So much more than you'll ever know, but you still love Him. And I'm okay with that. I know you don't feel the way I want you to, and it's okay to make mistakes. It's not like I expected you to fall in love with me."

I sat up and turned away from him. "I don't deserve a friend like you."

He laughed and sat up too. "Well, that's just too damn bad, because I'm not going anywhere."

"You aren't...hurt? At all?"

It was silent for a minute before he answered.

"A little bit, but I know it's nothing like how you feel. I know you Bella, and this isn't you. It's just going to take some time. Because what they did to you, how they just left you there after James...God, after that fucker left you like that...you don't deserve that. No one deserves that. Ever."

More tears rushed down my face. I was shocked that I never reacted when Jacob touched me, that I never flinched once. But maybe that was because I felt safe with Jacob. I always felt safe with Jacob. He would never hurt me.

"You think so?" I whispered, afraid I might burst out into uncontrollable sobbing if I used my normal voice.

"I know so Bella. Everyone deserves a second chance, even you. And if the Cullen's don't see that...then they don't deserve you."

I threw my arms around Jacob and pressed my face into his shoulder and let my tears soak his shirt.

"I love you Jake," I cried, clinging on tight. He burried his face into my hair and nodded.

"Love you too."

* * *

**Edward POV**

Another morning came....and with the opening of my eyes, came the same wave of pain that came over me every single morning. The same pain that made me want to die. The pain that made my heart break into tiny pieces. But I kept my eyes open and forced myself to turn over and see Tanya sleeping next to me. It was always a shock to see Tanya and not my Bella. Bella and I had gotten used to always just sleeping naked everynight after our "time" together. But Tanya never had that. She always got up and slid on one of her many silkly gowns and made me at least put on some underwear, saying we had to be "civilized".

I wasn't in love with Tanya. I didn't want to marry her. So why was she hear, every other night in my bed, sleeping? Why did I go through the routines of sex with her, never enjoying it? Why did we go out on dates and why did I let the papers say we were "together again"? Because of Susan?

Susan was my only reason for living these days. She was the reason I got up every morning. The reason I worked so hard, the reason for breathing basically. So I got up from the bed and slid on a tshirt before walking upstairs to her nursery.

As usual when I opened the door, she was standing up, holding onto her crib and waiting expectantly for me to come take her for our morning stroll around the apartment.

I lifted her into my arms and kissed her cheek as she giggled. I opened the curtains and changed her diaper. We went downstairs and opened the shades and made the coffee and I warmed up her morning bottle. The shower turned on and like every morning, Tanya got ready and I read the paper with Susan in my lap. It was my routine. Without it...I just might be lost.

On this particular morning I skipped the _Seattle Tribune_ as usual and went straight for the _Seattle Daily_. I skipped through the boring Sunday articles and then stopped dead when I saw her face, right under the _Seattle Saturday_ section. This couldn't be...no.

I set Susan down on the floor and scanned the article. I didn't know what it said, but then I went right back to her picture. The pain ripped me apart again and I quickly tossed the section in the garbage. Why was this happening to me! Was God trying to kill me? I sat on the ground and rocked back and forth with my head in my hands.

Tiny hands patted my back and wet lips kissed my unshaven cheek.

"Daddy!"

I couldn't even pull it together for Susan. What was wrong with me.

"Dad-dy, what wong?"

Everything is wrong.

* * *

**Ooo...that was a quick post eh? So...leave your comments please!!**


	43. Labor Pains

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Well, first off thanks so much for all of your feedback and comments! And once again, nope, not telling! You'll have to read to see what happens! ;) And then yes, I'm sorry that the posts are super short, but I really don't have a crap load of time on my hands so I have to keep it short, but I'll try to pack more in. I would make them longer, but I feel if I were to pack two chapters in one, it wouldn't have the same effect because the emphasis would be on two different elements altogether. And I'm also sorry to those who are unhappy...hopefully you'll like it better as things go on...because there's about to be somethin somethin goin down within maybe the next two chapters? We'll see how this chapter pans out :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Alice POV**

The days seemed to tick by faster and faster these days. Rosalie was due in literally one week now and she was so excited that I couldn't stand to be around her. Sometimes there was such a thing as too much happy. Yes, even _I_ think that.

"Alice, can you find Lauren's stupid paycheck so she'll shut up!" Emmett called from he front.

I nodded and dug deeper into the large pile of papers and envelopes on the desk.

"Hey! I just want my paycheck, sue me!" Lauren hissed.

I sighed and listened to Emmett and Lauren bicker back and forth for the upteenth time.

"Emmett, I can't find it!"

"Oh for the love of God!" he cried.

Heavy footsteps edged towards the door until he was right beside me, digging through the stack.

"Why don't you just fire her already? We both know she sucks," I suggested.

Emmett shrugged, "Ya, but she brings in new guys all the time."

"Yeah, because she needs a new sex partner every week."

Emmett nodded in agreement. I continued separating the envelopes until I came across one that had Bella's name on it. I stopped dead and stared down at it. The paper felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. It felt like a fresh slap in the face.

"Emmett, what is this?"

I held up the envelope for him to examine.

"Oh...that's her last paycheck. She never came to get it."

We both looked at the check in awe almost.

"I guess someone should call her."

Our eyes met with uneasiness. Who would call her? I'm sure it would be just as painful for us as it would be for her.

Emmett shrugged. "Maybe we'll have Emmett call her to come pick it up."

Alice nodded. "Right."

* * *

**Bella POV**

"I don't know Nancy. Maybe somehow this was our fate. I mean, what we used to have to amazing, and now we can have that again. Jacob really cares for me. Maybe back in the day it wasn't our time, and now it is."

Nancy folded her arms and nodded. "You know, I was reading about people coming into our lives for a reason. They help us through and to cope and become who we are, and then they fade away, leave, but it won't be sad. It will be the right time and convienent. Now, do you think this might be the same instance with Edward? Or even Jacob?"

She had me there. These days, Nancy and I had been having very in-depth conversations; mostly about philosophy and life. But this one really stuck in my head.

"Edward...might have been a reason. Except he didn't fade away at the right time, Nancy. The way we ended was all wrong. What would he have helped me with anyone? I mean sure, who I am is partly because of him, he brought that out, but it doesn't make sense."

She nodded and scribbled something down. "And Jacob?"

My mind shifted worlds. Jacob had been there from day one of my breakup. He had brought me back to life, literally. Maybe he was here for a reason....but he would leave?

"I...I don't want him to leave me," I whispered, knots bulging in my throat, threathening to unlease some intense sobbing. Nancy handed me a tissue and I dabbed at my eyes. "He can't leave, especially now. After what happened, having someone else leave me...it would kill me."

Nancy nodded and pushed her glasses up her nose. "Yes, but maybe one day you'll be ready."

I shook my head fiercly. "No, Jacob would never leave me."

"Which brings us back to your idea of fate. That maybe this is the right time for you two to blosom?"

I almost shuddered at that. "Edward has clearly moved on...so maybe I should too. Maybe I should give Jacob a chance?"

Nancy didn't encourage me. "You do whatever you feel in your heart. Does he make your stomach flip and fill with butterflies?"

I looked down, not wanting her to see my face. I already knew that answer. Jacob wasn't in my heart that way. My stomach was calm with him. What I wanted to feel for him, just wasn't there.

When I got home my answering machine blinked with a new message. I set my bag down and kicked my shoes off before pressing the button to set it off.

_You have one new message. First unheard message...BEEP._

_"Hi, this is Lauren from The Twilight Studio and I just wanted to like let you know that your last paycheck has been like sitting here forever, so if you could like, come get it...that'd be great." _

I froze. That couldn't be right. I replayed it...and it was. Of course I had to have check there. But I couldn't go pick it up! How I was I supposed to walk in there? I couldn't. And what if they were there, waiting? How could I possible face them all? I couldn't do that. I wouldn't. It's not like I needed it, right? Oh man.

The big iron doors seemed so familiar, as if I had been there the night before. My feet were planted firmly on the groud, waiting to be invited in like a vampire. God, why couldn't they just mail it too me? I knew people were staring at me, like I couldn't decided what to do. And I really couldn't.

Finally, shreding all my hope, I opened the doors and stepped inside. It was huge when it was empty like this. I walked slowly down the steps onto the dance floor and looked around, soaking it all in. Flashbacks whirled in my head. Of the night everyone found out, Edward's face, working on a busy night, dancing with Alice...all these things that created me, but were no more. I imagined for a moment that I was still working and just walking in to help set up like usual. I pictured Alice dancing around and Rosalie rubbing her belly and singing to the baby. Emmett would be trying to manage everything, but get caught up in being cool. Jasper would be at the bar, drinking already and doing the barss bills.

Then Edward would come in. Maybe he'd have roses. His arms would slip gently around my waist and he'd bury his face into my neck, whispering how much he loved me and leaving a small trail of butterfly kisses. Goosebumps would shoot up my arms and suddenly everything would be okay again. Like nothing bad ever happened.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

The shrill voice snapped me out of my own fantasy and back into dismal reality. Dammit.

I spun around to face Rosalie coming out of the office. My eyes popped. God he was huge! Apparently she didn't mind because she still wore pointy high heels.

"R-rosalie..."

Her angry face glared at me as she tapped her foot and folded her arms across her belly...or should I say rested them on top of her gigantic belly.

"Bella. I said what are you doing here?"

I didn't know what to say.

"Rosalie...you're so big now. I-"

Her grim face seemed to twitch as her hand lightly grabbed her belly. Her sucked in a breath and then blew it out.

"Are you o-"

She cut me off. "She just kicks hard is all. Now stop small talking, what do you want? I thought I told you to stay away."

I looked down and nodded. "I got a call, to come get my last paycheck.

Realization crossed her face. "Oh, right."

She whirled around into the office and came out with an envelope. I took it from her and stuffed it in my bag. She was still glaring as I zipped it shut. I was about to turn around to the door when she suddenly grasped her stomach and yelped in pain.

"Rosalie? Are you okay?"

Slowly she sunk to the floor and held her belly with all her might. I bent down with her and tried to think of some way I could help.

"Holy shit! This hurts!" she screamed, squeezing her eyes shut and gritting her teeth.

"Are you going into labor?"

She nodded quickly. "My water broke three hours ago, but the doctor said I would be fine until tonight to go in. Emmett's in Port Angelas doing business, I told him he was fine to go, but my contractions have been coming and I don't know what to do now!"

I looked into her eyes. The anger was gone and was replaced with pure fear. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to not scream again.

"It's okay. Come on, I'll drive you to the hospital."

She shook her head. "NO! I have to wait for Emmett."

"We can call him when we get there. Come on, I don't want the baby to shoot out in here."

I carefully helped her up and let her balance most of her weight on me as I helped her into the car. Then I drove like a bat out of hell to the hospital. Rosalie's belly barely fit and she started screaming bloody murder when she got another contraction.

"Hang on Rose, we're almost there."

"Don't call me that you bitch!" she yelled. I'm pretty sure if she wasn't in pain, she would have slapped me too.

I tried not to dwell on the fact that Rosalie hated me and pretended we were friends again.

I pulled in the vallet cover and threw my keys at the young boy before helping Rosalie out. I saw an abandoned wheelchair on the side so I pushed her down into it and ran inside. I skidded the chair to a stop at the elevator as I waited for it to open.

"This is taking too long!"

She was gripping the arms on the chair and shaking.

"Are you having another contraction?"

She rolled her eyes. "No! But it still hurts! God, get it to go faster! I'm in imense pain!"

The elevator opened and we got inside. We made it to the 3rd floor fast and I pushed her up to the nurses station.

"Hi, my friend Rosalie Hale Cullen is in labor now, she called earlier-"

"Get me a fucking room! I don't want to give birth in the lobby! I'm having a damn baby here!"

The nurse glared slightly at Rosalie but pushed a button and paged her doctor. Then she handed me a huge stack of paperwork.

"I'll need this filled out ASAP. And maybe calm her down a little bit? There's other people in this waiting room."

I turned around and blushed.

"Save the paperwork for Emmett. I need you!"

I looked at her in disbelief, but she was already off ranting about her pain again. I pulled out my cell and dialed his number.

"Come on! Answer please!" I begged to myself. No answer. "Shit shit shit!"

"Bella!"

I turned to face Rosalie as she pointed to her doctor who was pushing her away.

"Right!" I quickly caught up behind them.

* * *

**So...ya like? Commentage please!! 3**


	44. Oh Baby!

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Thank you all soo much for the sweet commentage!! I'm sorry it's been forever, I really do wish I had more time to write, but it's tough tryin to balance school and social life and toss in some writing time. I'll try to get better on it though!! But I hope you all keep reading!!**

**Enjoy!**

**Bella POV**

Rosalie's cries were about to drive me insane. I picked up the cup of ice chips and lifted a spoonful to her mouth as another contraction came and went. Then with one swift movement, her hand raised up and smacked the cup from my hands against the wall.

"I don't want anymore ice! I want the damn epidural already!" she screamed, wincing as the screaming just hurt her more.

"I'm sorry, but they said it's too early."

Rosalie glared at me like this was all my fault. I scooted against the wall as if gamma rays were to shoot from her eyes at me.

"Is there anything I can do?" I pleaded.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Not really, I don't even want you here so why don't you just keep doing nothing until one of my moronic family members actually shows up to aide me!"

I checked my phone again. Emmett still hadn't called me back when I'd called him at least 20 times in the last three hours.

A cry escaped her lips as another contraction came. I went to her side and let her squeeze my hand to death while she threw her head back in pure agony. Tears streamed down her face as she arched her back and gritted her teeth together.

"Just breath! You can get through this," I whispered, not sure if I was trying to convince her or myself. My hand felt like at any minute it might shatter.

She looked up at me with evil eyes. If looks could kill, I'd be dead. I wanted to pull away and run from that look, but she was holding my hand too tightly.

"Holy shit! Just go get a doctor! I want my epidural!" she yelled, trying to breath through the last of it.

When she finally dropped my hand I was sure it was broken. I watching the bright red blob flop down as pain shot through it. I guess I deserved it.

"Are you okay? Has it passed?" I asked her, still more concerned with my hand.

"I'm fine! God..."

Just when I was about to ask her the deal, her doctor and a nurse came in. He was all smiles and the nurse pushed a cart with some junk on it.

"How're you doing Rosalie?" he asked, checking her monitors.

"I'm doing terrible! How does it look!"

The doctore ignored that, probably because he's heard worse.

"Well it looks like we can give you that epidural now. You're almost there."

I thought Rosalie was going to get on her knees and pray thanks to God, her face was so filled with joy. The nurse rolled Rosalie onto her side and then picked up a huge needle.

"I need you to stay very still now, okay?"

Rosalie nodded and I looked away, not bearing to see what was going on. I'd pass out for sure.

When it was over they left the room and I tried Emmett again. Still no answer.

"Where is everyone! I called them this morning!"

I shook my head and sat in the chair.

I don't know how much time passed, but it felt like forever with Rosalie's devil eyes piercing my face.

When her doctor walked back in and clapped his hands together, I knew I was screwed.

"Rosalie it's time. Let's have us a baby, huh?" he said enthusiastically.

She shook her head. "No, I need to wait for my husband. He should be back soon!"

He shook his head and started disconnecting her from some monitors.

"Sorry, but this baby wants out." He turned to the nurse," Sharon, get her down to labor and delivery. I'll be down in five minutes."

Sharon nodded and started getting Rosalie ready to move.

"No I need to wait for Emmett!" she cried, starting to get distressed.

"Maybe we should wait for Emmett. Just plug it up or something?"I asked, starting to panic. I was the only one there.

"Who's going in with you dear?" She looked at me and I backed up, palms up. "Oh no no no no, I can't."

Rosalie agreed. "That bitch can't go near my baby! I want my husband!"

Sharon sighed. "Well you're going to be giving birth in five minutes."

I pulled out my phnoe and dialed. Emmett answered on the third ring.

"Thank God! I don't have time to explain, but Rosalie is in labor and I'm the only one here!"

"What? But I'm still 40 minutes away!" he cried.

No!

"You can't be! I can't go in with her!"

"Bella, you have to. I"m coming. Just take care of them for me."

The line went dead and I felt like crying.

"He won't be here for 40 minutes."

All the anger melted off her face. It was replaced with...fear. Pure fear.

The nurse left for a moment and I went to her bedside.

"It'll be okay, I'll go in with you and everything will be okay, I promise."

Panic seeped into her voice as she grabbed my hand.

"Promise?"

"Yes."

She nurse came back in with scrubs for me.

"You can slip these on and then we'll head over to delivery."

I quickly slipped on the scrubs and picked up Rosalie's hand again.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

I just squeezed her hand tighter.

Two nurses pushed the huge bed down the hall towards the elevator. I rushed right next to them.

"Bella!" Rosalie said right before we got in the steel doors.

"Yeah?" I asked, looking down at her frightened face.

"I'm sorry. I know what you did was wrong on so many levels, but the pros outweigh the cons here. You're a great person and you made Edward more happy than I've ever seen him. You completed our family and I forgive you. When you love someone so much, you somehow find it in your heart to not care what they did and forgive them anyway because you know that you need them in your life."

By the time she finished we were in the delivery room and her doctor was suited up and spreading her legs apart. I wanted to say something, but tears clogged my eyes and throat. The nurses started holding her legs and the doctor was telling her to push. She thrashed and screamed and yelled, but she kept her strong and pushed.

"Oh God! Get it out! Get it out!" she wailed, throwing her head back for a quick break.

"Okay Rosalie, just two more quick pushes ok. Make them count!" the doctor said.

She took a deep breath and gave her first push, blowing all her energy.

"Holy fuck!" she screamed.

"One more."

"Come on Rose, just one more!"

And then I heard it. The sound of a newborn baby crying. I resisted the urge to peek over and look at the gooey baby, knowing I'd be out cold if I did. Instead I pulled Rosalie's sweaty hair up on top of her head and wiped her face down with a wet rag.

"You did it Rosalie. You did it," I said, letting the pride shine in my voice.

They immediately tested her and cleaned her off quickly and then put her in a pink blanket and set her in Rosalie's suddenly strong arms.

"Hi sweet, little baby," she cooed.

And I'd never seen her so happy than in that exact moment.

* * *

**Yes, it's VERY SHORT! I know...but the emphasis was on the birth! I didn't want to add the next part because that takes a new turn and I didn't want to take away from the point of this chapter!! Commentage...and once again, yes i know it's short. I know I take too long to update. Please leave some real feedback! xoxo**


	45. Explanation

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Wow...so first off, thanks for the fabulous reviews! I love you all!! **

**My next thing...OH MY! NEW MOON...was AMAZING! Seriously, I adored Twilight, but New Moon was just 10X better. I've already seen it 3 times haha. OO, I love it. Jacob was on fire, seriously smokin hot, but...I still love Edward more. I don't know, I just think Edward was so much cuter in my eyes, Jacob was eye candy, but Edward hit the money :) What do y'all think?**

**And, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving for those of you that celebrate. I'm sorry this took SO LONG! I had half of it written and then I got caught up in the holidays that I just couldn't find time, I'm so sorry!!**

**Now..on with it!!**

**Bella POV**

I took the time then to sneak quietly out of the room. I peeled off the icky scrubs that now smelled like blood and goo for some unknown reason, seeing how I didn't get any of that on me. I washed my hands at least ten times before heading back to Rosalie's room. I waited outside for a moment, trying to decide whether what she said to me earlier was true. Did she forgive me? Or was that just talk so I'd hold her hand? I mustered up the little courage I had before walking inside.

Rosalie was absolutely glowing. She was radiating love off her soft, milky skin. Her blonde curls, which were matted to her face with sweat, were now piled neatly on top of her head like a professional did it. Her angry-ocean colored eyes were filled with light and fixed on the tiny pink bundle in her arms. She cooed sweetly down at the baby and I cleared my throat.

"Sorry, I just uh-"

Just what? Why was I here?

"Bella, I thought you left. I'm glad you're here."

I did a doubletake. She was glad?

"You are?"

Rosalie nodded towards the chair next to her bed. I deliberated, but sat down anyway.

"I am. Bella, I meant what I said. I know it was rushed and probably not the apology you deserved, but I just wanted you to know that I do forgive you before I give you the actual apology that I think I've been unconsciously thinking up since you left."

I shook my head. "You don't have to apoloize. If anything, I should be saying sorry to you."

Rosalie shifted the baby closer to her chest before turning to face me again.

"Bella...what I did to you that night..."she stopped to look down. A look of pure regret crossed her face. "God, I was horrible to you. You'd been nothing but perfect to me and look what I did? I just left you there! I mean, I was mad...but that's no excuse. What he did, no one deserves that. Ever. I just...I don't know how you got through that."

I looked down, letting all those memories come back. Everything.

"I was lucky. Jacob found me just before..." I choked on the last words. "Just before he finished the job."

Rosalie shook her head. "I don't care. He shouldn't have even gotten close."

We sat in silence for a moment before she spoke again. "Are you okay now? I mean, how've you been?"

I knew this was the moment of truth. I didn't want to speak what happened, but I knew that Rosalie really wanted to know. I couldn't lie to her anymore.

"Things were...bad. After Jacob saved me...I just couldn't do it. So I tried to swallow a bunch of pills-" I heard Rosalie gasp, but I didn't meet her eyes. How could I? "I was unconscious for a long time. Jacob came through for me again. They put me on suicide watch and I went under a lot of counseling, but it's helped so much. I was dead, worse than dead, and Jacob was there for me time and time again. Sometimes I think that I owe everything to him, or at least more than I'm giving him."

I thought about the night I'd slept with him, how I thought somehow in my twisted brain that I needed it, when in reality it was some sort of retarded payback. Like he wanted me so bad, and I'd owed it to him. I tried not to think of it that way.

"But I'm better now, I promise. I even have a new job writing, no undercover, except for the last article I wrote last week for my old paper.

Rosalie nodded. "You know, Emmett read every week to see what happened next in your story. I refused to read them, but I know Alice read them too. Emmett said that...the way you talked about us-" she paused to shift the baby. "That you didn't write like you were uncovering some secret or something, but you wrote like you were one of us, just writing about what happened. How you wrote with so much love and adoration, especially about Edward."

I blushed hard and looked down at my feet. "No one ever let me explain. I never wrote that as an expose', to just throw your lives out there. I wrote it like I was a part of everything. I know I still hurt you and I can never take it back, but I just got caught up."

Rosalie nodded, she was actually listening and...understanding?

"Can I ask you something though?"

I nodded. "Why did you do it?"

I sighed and tried to think of something that might make sense to her. Everything made sense to me, but we were two different people. So I blew out a breath and started.

"I didn't come here with a plan to find a wonderful family and fall in love. I came to write, because writing was the one thing that made me feel whole, like I mattered. I was good at writing, you know? So when I got this job I was so excited because it would mean big things for me. New writers never got stories like I did. But then I met you all and you guys accepted me, no questions. I had a family, a support system...and I've never had that. I came from divorced parents, being tossed back and forth with no stability. So being part of a family like yours meant the world.

"It started getting harder and harder for me to write. To the point where I'd be throwing up and locking myself in the bathroom and constantly crying. I couldn't stand to look in the mirror and everytime Edward said he loved me...I was dying inside. There were some days that I...."

My voice trailed off. I thought back to the one day on the top of the building...almost jumping. I shuddered.

"Somedays I honestly thought about suicide. But Edward was the only reason I stayed alive. And then one day I quit. I left the paper and things were good again until my boss printed the story without my permission because he owned it legally."

Rosalie nodded generously. "Odd as it sounds....that makes sense. I mean, you were just doing what you could at the time. I've made mistakes in my past, some of them I thought Emmett might never forgive me for...but he always did somehow. I guess I never thought about how miserable you were. I could see it, but I never wanted to ask, afraid of what you might say I guess."

We sat in silence for a long time after that until she spoke again.

"I'm sorry for the way I've acted towards you. I really don't care anymore. I just miss you too much and now that we've had time to deal, I just realize that you belong with our family."

Hot tears clogged my eyes and threatened to overflow. "Thank you, that means more than I can say. And I'm sorry too. There aren't words to express how sorry I am, but nonetheless, as bad as it was....I don't regret it. " Rosalie's face dropped as I said that. I quickly explained my reasoning. "Doing that story, it brought me to you. It gave me my family and....it brought me to Edward."

Rosalie smiled lightly in understanding. "Then I'm glad too."

I wiped my eyes and then noticed the small pink bundle in her arms.

"Look at us crying! This is supposed to be a happy day and we're just talking about such sadness!"

She laughed and then suddenly held the baby to me.

"Would you like to hold her?"

I looked at her in awe before scooting closer.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my little Annabelle Elizabeth."

I cradeled the tiny baby in my arms, letting her nestle in before I gently started rocking her.

"Annabelle," I said, trying it out. "Annabelle Elizabeth Hale Cullen," Rosalie added.

I smiled. "It's perfect."

* * *

I stayed for another 10 minutes before deciding to leave. The rest of the family should be here soon and I couldn't face them, not yet. What I really needed was to talk with Nancy. So hugged Rosalie goodbye and kissed Annabelle's forehead before slipping out the door. I was almost to the waiting room when Alice suddenly came bounding down the hall, balloons and teddy bears in her tiny arms.

"Bella?" she asked quizzically.

I blushed and tried to stay calm.

"What are you-"

I interupted her. "I was the only one who could be here. Rose will you tell you."

Seeing Alice brought up sobs in my throat. Seeing her hurt more than I thought it would.

She quickly hurried to Rosalie's room while I continued down the long corridor. It wasn't two minutes later that Alice came running down the hall shouting my name. I paused and turned just in time for her to throw her arms around me and start bawling.

"Bella! I'm so glad you're back. I've been waiting so long to forgive you! Please stay!"

Tears escaped my eyes again as I pushed her off. I couldn't do this. It was too much for one day. All I could see was the disappointment in Alice's eyes the day the paper came out. That betrayl on her face would never go away in my eyes.

"I-I can't."

And with that I quickly turned and finished my way into the waiting room. I thought things couldn't get any worse...

But they did.

Just as I entered the waiting room I saw Edward walking in. My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to think of ways to stay invisible. But then I froze. Because he had Susan perched in one arm and was holding Tanya's hand with the other. A big smile on her face vanished with the sight of me and she squeezed his hand. Susan pointed to me and squealed with delight. And Edward....his expressionless face turned into pure agony.

"Bella..."

His voice seemed faraway as he whispered my name. Was there longingness in it? I couldn't tell. I was already out the door and sprinting through the lobby to the parking lot.

* * *

**ooooo!! Whatcha thinkin? Please comment!! 3**


	46. Regression

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Thank you so much for all your fabulous reviews! I'm glad to see most of you are satisfied with this chapter which makes me so elated! haha. And I know you all want longer chapters....I try, like I really do...I guess I'm not a long chapter type of gal. I like reading long ones, but I think mine are moderate, yeah? I know I don't update as much as I used to, but I'm not joking you when I say I don't have tons of time. I wish I did. Sometimes I'll be like thinking of my next chapter and writing it in my head, just itching to get to my computer, so I really want to!**

**But thanks anyway, I really do have the bestest fans ever! Everyone...go eat some chocolate as my treat :P haha**

**Now...on with the story!!**

**Bella POV**

I reached Nancy's office in record speed. She was sitting at her desk reading quietly when I burst through the door.

"Sorry I'm late! I was held up!"

Nancy checked her watch. I was 30 minutes late, a huge no-no in therapy world. It meant you were receding in progress. In this case, I think I was back to square one. Nancy however was different. She stood up and grabbed her notepad and took a seat at her large armchair. I folded myself on the couch and took a second to calm down before spilling the whole story to her.

I started from going to the club all the way to the birth. By the time I got to Alice tears overflowed my eyes and I was rocking back and forth like a child. But when Edward came, the vision of his hand holding Tanya's was like a knife slicing right through me. My eyes burned and this time sobs heaved from my chest. He had a family now, one that didn't include me. He had everything he ever wanted and I had nothing. Edward didn't need me anymore and seeing him with Tanya confirmed that. I couldn't make him happy and she could.

"Bella, Bella calm down. Just take a deep soothing breath. It'll be okay. Think of your progress. You should be able to think of him without this reaction," Nancy whispered while patting my back. I choked back my tears and shook my head.

"You didn't see him. It was my worst nightmare come true. God I'm so pathetic! Falling apart at the sight of him! I mean I knew I was never good enough for him, and now it's concrete."

My emotions skyrocketed and I fell of the success I'd built and plummeted right down to rock bottom. There were no words to describe the pain I felt at that very moment. For the first time in two months I actually wished Jacob hadn't found me in time. I actually wished that James had finished the job and just killed me on spot.

The only thing worse than not having Edward was seeing him with someone else that I couldn't even come close to competing with.

* * *

It took 20 minutes for Nancy to calm me down after that. She'd tried every technique taught to man and nothing worked. I was hysterical and nothing was working. I bet she preferred it when I was catatonic because at least I was under control and no like some crazy ape-girl on steroids.

But by the time my sobbing stopped and the tears dried up, I felt numb. I couldn't even feel my own body. Nancy reluctantly let me go after I begged her, saying I needed to be alone for the rest of the night. She called me a cab, not trusting me to drive.

When I entered my dark apartment the answering machine was beeping. I pressed play and there were five calls from Alice and two from Emmett. I refused to listen to them so I deleted them on spot. I threw my purse against the wall and then walked into my bedroom, not bothering to turn a light on. I stripped down to my panties and tank-top before falling face first into my bed.

The only thing going through my mind was the image of Edward and Tanya. She looked so happy...but he looked miserable. I didn't understand that, but he loved her. That much was clear...I think.

No, I couldn't think. Pain ripped through my chest and it took all my strength to not get up and swallow another bottle of pills. I made a mental pro/con list...and the pros outweighed the cons. I came so close to getting up and heading into the bathroom, but my energy was shot. I couldn't move a finger if I tried.

Once again the picture of Edward came to my head, but it wasn't his face this time. It was his hand, secured in Tanya's. He wasn't holding hers, like he used to do mine. But she was holding his, like she was holding him together. I realized now that she was keeping the pieces of him together, so he wouldn't fall apart. It was just like when his parents died, she was there to keep him from breaking. But this time _I _was the one that broke him.

I knew then that I was never fully healed. My heart was shattered and Nancy had merely stitched it back up. But seeing Edward tore out the stitches and deflated my full heart. I couldn't live without him. I honestly and truly could no surive without Edward. He was my only reason for living.

By the time she morning light broke across the sky I knew I needed Jacob. I needed him before I did anything stupid. I picked up the phone and begged him, on the verge of tears, to come and stay with me. He burst through my door 20 minutes later.

I was sitting on the bed, hysterical once again, as he came to my side. He pushed me over and then wrapped his large arms around me and buried my face into his chest. I clutched at his shirt and soaked it like I had many weeks ago.

"Thank you," I whispered between sobs. Jacob kissed my forehead in response.

Why couldn't I love you, Jake? I thought to myself. You are perfect for me, so why can't I feel the way you want me to? I gazed up into eyes and tried so hard to force the feelings. I tried to tap into his soul, to read his face the way I could do Edward's. I tried so hard to love him.

And Jacob knew this. He knew what I was trying to do.

"Bella, don't. I understand."

But I ignored him and squeezed his hand hard.

"I _want_ to love you Jake!" I said, trying to convince myself through clenched teeth.

"But you can't. I understand. I'll take what I can get."

I shook my head. "But maybe we can try! Just try. Sometimes you need to work at a relationship. Jake, we used to have it, so maybe it's still there. Maybe we can make this work."

Jacob just shook his head. "Who are you trying to convince?"

I looked up helplessly into his eyes. I could make this work. I could.

I placed my hands on either side of his face and stared at him with determination. I could do this. And then I pressed my lips to his and exulted as much love as I could. I pushed my whole heart into him.

* * *

**Edward POV**

She was there. I saw her. And she was there. Right in front of me. My Bella had been inches from me...and I had done nothing. Some many feelings shot through me. All I wanted was to close the space between us and wrap her securely in my arms, to shield her from everything. I wanted to kiss her and make to her right then and there. Every emotion tingled in my body.

And then it was haulted when Tanya squeezed my hand. Misery covered my face and Bella ran out. I'd lost her again.

For the first time, I picked up all the issues of the Seattle Tribune I'd hidden in my closet and opened them up to Bella's section, starting with the first entry. I took a breath and started to read the first one. Each word shot down my chest like fire, opening up new wounds. Hearing her words in something completely different than I thought made my heart sizzle with desire. She didn't write hate or exploitation. She wrote with love and passion. The way she talked about me was almost impossible for I'd never thought of myself as "perfect" or "god-like". By the time I got to the last article, I found myself learning about my family. Things I'd never known before. I found myself falling in love with Bella all over again. This was a different girl than I'd known, a girl I wished I could have known.

The last article was entitled _Apology_.

"Coming into this, I never expected to find a family...or a soulmate. I'd never expected to know what happiness really meant or that the little things are taken for granted. I might have lost all of that, but when people ask me if I could take it back, I say NO. Because even though this has brought me to the lowest of lows, to a play I never want to visit again, I wouldn't change it. It brought me to the family I came to admire and it brought me to the man I loved. If I could say anything to them right now, it wouldn't be sorry (although I am, more than words can say), but I would say thank you for welcoming me with no questions. We had a great run, eh? I would tell them how much they all meant to me and I would tell them that they brought the best days of my life. And I would tell Edward that the way I felt about him would never change, that every bit of it was truth. There were no lies behind my eyes when we were together."

I had to set the paper down then. Tears flowed from my eyes and I couldn't finish reading the article. I was such a fool! Such a fool for not letting her explain! Such a fool for shoving down my love instead of letting it bring forgiveness to my eyes.

Bella belonged to me, and I to her. It was simple as that. I could either wallow in self-pity or go make the best of my life, because life does no offer second chances. Instead you had to risk everything.

You had to take chances.

* * *

**So..pretty powerful chapter? Yes? Hmm...well the cliffy isn't too bad this time, I hope. I kind of wrapped it up for you guys....but what do you think? any predictions? I'm so excited for the next few chapters!! Leave some love!!**


	47. Too Late

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**First off...reviews were rocktastic, but that is no surprise!! You guys are so super amazing, I wish I could give you all candy right now...so let's pretend I did! Yay! I'm glad the reviews are going back to happy instead of disappointed, which makes me feel a lot better :D i'm glad you are all honest with me and just wanted to let you know...already got a new ff idea for when this one is over...which i'd say has a good at least 5 chapters left, possibly more or less, give or take. we'll see...but this new ff will be NOT AH, but includs vampires again..yay! And that is all I'm sayin. **

**So let's get readin folks!!**

**Bella POV**

Our breaths became ragged as we twisted in each others arms, trying to find that perfect position that would sky rocket our emotions. My hands clutched on the back of his shirt as he tangled his hands in my hair, pulling slightly, but that only heighted the experience. I let my hands eventually worm their way up his shirt and on his warm back until I broke from his lips to snag the shirt off. We sat staring at each other after that, not knowing what to do. It was almost like our first time, awkward yet beautiful. Full of new things to share. I very shyly scooted forward and placed both my hands on either side of his face and planted a kiss on his lips. I kissed his neck and his collar bone and moved down to the defined muscles on his chest and placed kisses there. Before I could move back up he had pushed me down and yanked my shirt off.

I could feel every inch of his body on top of me, molding into mine...but I couldn't feel his weight. Our kisses intensified and then his hands wandered down to the drawstring on my sweat pants. My heartbeat sped up to a 100 miles an hour. I was feeling something new. Last time I was so enveloped in need that I didn't feel the hesitation of my body, I didn't hear the voice that said _Stop._ My fingers dug into his back and he started to slide his hand into my pants. I could feel a slight panic come over me. I couldn't do this. No.

"J-jake..." my voice quivered with desire...but not desire for him. His hand slide down my thigh and gently caressed it. I could feel his hot breath on my neck. I shivered as his fingers made a pattern on my inner thigh.

"S-t-top...stop."

But he wasn't listening to my frantic whispers. I couldn't. I couldn't love him this way. It felt wrong. Everything felt so wrong.

"Jake stop!"

His hand was inches from my panties now. I couldn't handle it. He had to hear me.

"_Jake stop!"_

This time he heard me and looked into my scared eyes.

"Bella?"

I was shaking now. His hand immediately popped up and rubbed down my face. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head and sat up, trying to push his weight off me.

"N-no. I'm fine. I just-"

I couldn't finish what I was saying. Tears overwhelmed me again.

"Bella..."

He pulled me into his arms again and rocked me like he had before.

"I can't Jake. I'm sorry."

My hot tears dripped down his chest like a waterfall. I knew he was upset, and I knew how much he wanted me. Why could I give Jacob the love he deserved?

"It's okay. You tried..and that was all that mattered."

I nodded to myself. "I love him Jake, and it hurts so much. All the time. It just never goes away and right now I can't take it."

He held me tighter, providing me with a safe place. "It's okay. Shh."

"I'm sorry. You deserve someone so much better than me. I keep failing you...over and over..." my words trailed off with each _Shh_ he whispered into my ears.

And then I finally fell asleep. Darkness took me over.

* * *

**Edward POV**

"Edward? Are you ready yet?"

Tanya poked her head into my bedroom with an expectant look. She was radiant as usual, all dressed up for a non-dressy occasion. I was sitting on my bed, looking out the window at another rainy day.

"Edward? You aren't even dressed yet!"

She came into my room and started throwing a fit.

"I told Rosalie we'd be at their place in 10 minutes! Hon, this isn't like you," she complained.

I shook my head. "I don't know if I can go."

Tanya rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "Why the hell not? It's not like _she_ is going to be there. God, I don't even know how Rosalie forgave that awful creature."

My eyes met hers instantly, a look of anger crossed my face. "She is not awful."

Tanya's superior expression dropped as she eyed me. "Excuse me? Edward, get over it already. She was never good enough for you. You know that we were meant to be together. That's why we are, right now. It's fate sweetie."

I stood up defiantly, like I was facing an attacker.

"Not good enough? I believe that _I_ was the one not good enough for her. You have no idea what I'm feeling right now Tanya. And togetherness? Are we really together? Or is it just sex?"

My words were harsh and she took a step back, pain covering her face. A tiny amount of sympathy ran through me, but it disappeared.

"We are together," she said, but her voice shook. "Edward I...I love you. I always have, and it's not just sex. We belong together. I know we do."

We stood like that for a long time before I spoke.

"We don't. Because I don't love you, Tanya. And I don't think I ever really did."

I could see tears shining in her bright eyes.

"S-so you're saying that...you used me? You used me just so you could get some?"

The sadness went away and instead was replaced by anger.

"God! You're a piece of shit, do you know that?"

Tanya picked up my cell phone off the nightstand and threw it at my face. I didn't even duck. It hit me square in the eye and I took it because I deserved it. She screamed once and then stormed out. I could hear her grab Susan downstairs and then the door slammed shut. I tiny smile crossed my face.

I was free.

I spent the next hour getting dressed as nice as I could. I wore my favorite trousers and the v-neck shirt Bella always loved on me. I tossed on a leather jacket and then hurried out the door. I had one destination.

By the time I got to Bella's door...I felt like turning back. I couldn't do this. She saw me with Tanya. I hurt her once again. I paced around for a few minutes before getting the courage to knock. And I did.

Shit, now I have to face her.

I waited nervously until the door very slowly opened. But it wasn't Bella. It was Jacob. My voice caught in my throat. No.

Please God, please no. I was too late.

"Edward," Jacob said, greeting me coldly.

I tried to compose myself. "Jacob. I need to speak with Bella."

He shook his head. "She's sleeping right now."

I shrugged. "I can wait. I really need to...I just need to see her."

Jacob turned around and then squeezed out side in the hall and shut the door.

"No. You stay away from her, ya hear?"

I was shocked. What the hell?

"Excuse me?"

He nodded. "That's right. You have no idea what you've done to her. Do you even know? She's been messed up. All because you wouldn't even listen to her. She tried to kill herself you ass!"

I felt like my insides just imploded. I felt like my heart just got stabbed through 10 times. I felt like I was going to die.

She tried to kill herself? Because she couldn't live without me? No.

"And it's all your stupid family's fault. She got raped and nearly killed and your stupid brother did nothing. _NOTHING!_"

I thought he might kill me right then and there.

"What kind of person walks away from that!"

Now I think I really was dying. They never told me that. They never told me she was being raped that night. And I wasn't even there to save her. I couldn't protect her anymore.

"So you stay away from her, okay? She doesn't need anymore pain in her life."

I couldn't feel my legs anymore. Bella didn't need me anymore.

"Can you just tell her-" I paused. Tell her what? That I love her? Like her stupid bodyguard would actually tell her that. I racked my brain for an answer.

"Just tell her that I'm sorry, okay?"

He thought it over and then nodded. "Alright."

And then he turned and disappeared into the apartment. With the very little strength I had left, I walked back to the elevator.

It was all over for real this time.

* * *

**Oooo....so, yeah, that was a cliffy...kinda. Sorry :D I just love creating suspense! I love you all! Leave some love because I updated fast haha...even though it's short, but like I said, I just can't do the whole long chapter thing. 3**


	48. Hope

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Yay...love the reviews! Yeah I know....that damn Jacob! Gotta knock some sense into that boy :P But I'm glad you all think it's getting better...and it is! Happiness is always around the corner...I know it's been depressing for a long time....but it's going to get happy soon...thinkin next chapter? ANyways...READ ON! :D**

**And, I was hoping to get this out before the holidays, but i went on vacation. But I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas and happy new year!**

**Bella POV**

When my eyes opened again they were dry. My tears had run their course and my achy body was ready to begin fresh again. I was finally ready to face everything without holding back. I was ready to let my heart heal itself instead of being stitched up. I stretched my arms above my head just in time to hear Jacob's muffled whispers and then the front door click shut.

Curiously I crept out of bed and looked at my face in the mirror quickly. My face was pale, paler than normal. But my eyes were bright, just like they always were when I first woke up. I pinched my cheeks to spread some color and then tiptoed into my living room just as Jacob came back in. His face was tense and his eyes tight.

"Who was that?"

I startled him and he nearly jumped from his skin. "Uh, no one."

I tilted my head. "You're lying."

He blew out a deep breath and let his face relax. "It's better if I don't say."

I bit my lip. He was going to tell me. "No, just tell me. I'm feeling a lot better now, and you need to stop protecting me."

He watched me very carefully before opening his mouth. "It was Edward."

My curious smile dropped and my stomach did somersaults. "What?"

"Edward wanted to see you...but I told him no."

My heart sped up and anger coursed through my veins. "You did what! What the hell is wrong with you! You had no right to do that!"

I ran for the door. "Maybe he's still there. Edward!" I cried.

But Jacob's sure arms caught me and held me back. I kicked out, trying to get loose..but it was no use. Edward was probably in the elevator now.

"Jacob how could you do that! I need to see him! Edward!" I continued screaming and thrashing until it turned to tears. My feet hit the floor and I slid down until I was sobbing on the ground with Jacob helplessly holding me.

"Don't you see what he's done to you! Look at yourself Bella! He's ruined you, you can't even hear his name without throwing a fit! He's no good for you."

I just shook my head and then buried it into his chest. "You don't know, Jacob. He was everything to me, my only reason for living."

Jacob stayed silent for a long time.

"What did he want?"

I could tell Jacob didn't want to answer. "Tell me! I have a right to know!"

"Fine. He wanted me to tell you he's sorry. He wanted to see you. He had no idea about the rape or suicide or anything...so I told him. Bella, he lookd like he was about to die right with ya."

A look of horror crossed my face. "You didn't!"

Jacob looked like a little kid who had tried to help cook but instead just made a bigger mess with things. "I thought it was the right thing. I thought he would want to know!"

Tears filled my eyes once more. "Now he'll think I don't want him anymore! Jacob! That was my chance and you screwed it up!"

I pushed him away and ran for the door. This time he didn't stop me.

I ran to the elevator but it took too long so I sprinted down all 14 flights of stairs to the bottom. I ran through the lobby and out the door.

"Edward!" I yelled while looking around. My senses tingled. I had a feeling. He had to be out here. He just had to. He was waiting for me. That's how it was supposed to happen.

Right when I was about to yell his name again, the silver volvo sped down the street without even noticing me.

* * *

**Edward POV**

I hadn't even driven two blocks when my cell rang. Filled with fury, I answered it icily.

"What?" I asked, acid evident in my voice.

"Ed! You and Tanya were supposed to be here an hour ago!" Emmett complained.

I didn't care that he just brought his baby girl home. I didn't care that Rosalie was happy and made-up with Bella. None of that mattered. They were scum to me. No, the scum that scum eats. That is how I felt about them.

"Tanya and I are over. And so are we for that matter."

There was a short pause. "Brother? What's up?"

It took all my strength to not ram into the car in front of me. "What's up? Did you think I would never find out? That I would just not care? You let Bella get raped and nearly killed in that ally that night!"

My foot slammed the break as I neared a red light.

"No, listen. Edward-"

"Don't even try to weasle out of this one! I can't even see her because of that stupid kid protecting her because he blames all of it on me! God, how could you have left her there! What kind of person does that?"

I didn't even let him finish. I clicked the off button and spiked my phone down on the passenger seat.

"God dammit!" I yelled, letting all my anger out in a string of cuss words so strong that even Rosalie would have backed off.

The light turned green and I pressed the gas so hard I thought it would have broken. I sped down the street weaving in and out before making it to my building and parking underground.

* * *

**Bella POV**

A whole week had passed by since that day. Jacob barely came over anymore. He had a new job and apparently that limited his time. I knew he was mad...which was ridiculous because I was the one who was mad! He had no right to be angry with me when I was mad first.

So I busied myself with my work. I sent out polls via internet and researched hottests places in Seattle. And everytime The Twilight Studio came up as number 1. Another arrow through the heart.

Everytime the phone rang I jumped on it, hoping it would be Edward. When there was a knock at the door I ran to it. He had to come back, he just had to. The guy always came back, that was just how it happened. He'd think he was too late and then he couldn't stay away and would show up on her doorstep, looking like shit I may add, and the girl would cry and the guy would take her into his arms and they'd kiss passionately. The End. The credits roll and everyone is happy.

Except me. Edward wasn't coming back. I'd had my shot and missed.

My day dreaming got interupted with a knock on my door. I let myself think it was Edward, but I knew it wasn't. So it was my surprise to see Rosalie and Alice at my door. I took a step back and blinked.

"What are you doing here?"

Rosalie glided in, lugging her pink babycarseat on one arm, and Alice followed behind. I gulped and shut the door with a tiny _click_.

"We need to talk," Rosalie said, sitting on the couch and picking up Anabelle from her elaborate holding. She cuddled the infant close to her chest before looking at me.

"Edward came to see you last week, you're aware of that right?"

I sat down shakily and nodded. "Yes."

I noticed that this whole time Alice was staring at my face with sorrow. Like she just wanted to jump on me and cry.

"Well, Jacob might have told him some things Emmett and I didn't. In fact, Edward hasn't spoken to us since. He hates us all and refuses contact. He could be dead for all we know."

I nodded. "I know. He told me."

Rosalie looked at Alice. They had an unspoken conversation with their eyes before Rosalie continued.

"There's more."

I blinked. How could there be more?

"Edward broke up with Tanya. He broke up with her the day he came here. He was trying to get you back, Bella. My brother still loves you and he obviously never stopped."

This should have sent my heart soaring. I should have been floating on air. But I wasn't.

"That's a lie. He doesn't love me. He was probably just..." I tried to think of an excuse for why he came, but I couldn't. "He just-"

"Loves you!" Alice squealed.

I looked at her tiny face. Delight was spread over it.

"Oh Bella! He never stopped! He was upset and may have screwed around, but he was lost. And so were you! God, I've been waiting so long for this! Can't you see Bella!"

All of Alice's excitement that she had built up for two months shot out like the rays of the sun. It radiated off her.

"But he hasn't come back," I said glumly.

Rosalie smiled this time. "That is where we come in. We can set this up, but Bella, he won't talk to us. We need you to initiate it. The only person he'll talk to is you. We need you to reunite us all again, back as a family like we should be."

I shook my head. "No, I can't! He has to still hate me...I know it!"

"God Bella wake up! He's mad for you! Don't you want him back?"

I nodded. "You know I do!"

"Then do something! Edward thinks he lost his chance, he thinks you're with Jacob."

"No."

"Yes! You need to make him see!"

No, he couldn't think that.

I nodded again quickly. "What do I have to do?"

* * *

Uh oh...do I sense happiness on the horizon? :) Leave some love


	49. Taking Fate Into My Own Hands

****

Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Wow guys! We are 5 reviews away from 1000 reviews! That is so amazing! I love you all so much for making that happen! I've never even dreamed I'd get past 500 and now here we are at ONE THOUSAND REVIEWS! Wow...I'm so blown away right now :)**

**The reviews were great...and I'm sad to see this story coming to an end, I'll probably have a couple more chapters plus an epilogue...but then I can start my new ff...and it's way different from this, back to vampires, but I hope ya'll love it!**

**And now....continued!!!**

**Bella POV**

The plan was set. Tomorrow would the fatefull day. It was hard thinking that in exactly 24 hours, everything could change. That in one day, Edward could be mine again....or gone forever. I tried not to think of that alternative. Rosalie told me that failing was not an option.

It occured to me that they could be using me to get Edward back...but that flew right out the window. I might have lost them and won them back again, but I knew when they were being sincere, and they wanted me back too. I could just tell. And I also knew that Edward would only listen to me, because ironically as it sounds, I wasn't his betrayer anymore...it was his own family.

After we discussed out plan, Alice flew over to me and wrapped her tiny arms around me.

"Bella! You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this," she gushed, squeezing me harder.

My cracked heart started to slowly piece itself back together again, but not fully. I hugged her back and buried my face into her shoulder. I had missed her, almost as much as Edward.

"I know, I felt the same," I said.

I let my body open up again and accept her. I didn't shy away like at the hospital. This was the time for mending.

* * *

When they left, I went right over to Nancy's office for my now only weekly appointment. After my little spout of regression, I'd steered myself in the right direction with little guidance from Nancy. She gave me extra brownie points by shaving off my twice a week appointments to once a week.

I walked in and plopped down on the couch and folded my legs under myself.

"You look very happy today, Bella," she observed, grabbing her notebook and sliding on her glasses.

I shrugged and watched Nancy push a strand of her dark hair behind her ears and then I went on.

"I guess I should start with the bad?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Nancy nodded so I began by telling her the story with Jacob and how we almost went there again and how Edward came and I missed him. I told her how I felt and my week of silence and then I apologized for not telling her this all last week. And just when she tried to fit some words in I kept going, this time telling the happy.

"And then Rosalie and Alice came by today. And things were almost...the same. I mean, we all blended together like we used to. It was hard to remember what it was like without them."

"And what did you talk about?" Nancy asked patiently.

I sighed, not sure if this would please Nancy. "A plan to get Edward back. They say he still loves me...but I don't know. He thinks I'm with Jacob. It's over for him. I know Edward, once his mind believes something, there's no going back. He believes were are truly over...so we are."

I bit my lip and looked up at Nancy, cringing. But she wasn't displeased. Instead there was a small smile on her face.

"Bella, I've never seen someone improve as fast as you have,"she said.

I looked at her in disbelief. "What?"

She nodded. "You were down, deeper than possible, and now two months later your coming out on top? It's the middle of August and you're already moved on and doing things it takes normal patients months to do."

I shook my head. "No, I still feel like the empty girl I was inside. I'm not recovered."

Nancy pushed her glasses up. "I'm not so sure. You have light in your eyes, color in your cheeks. You get dressed everyday and go to work. You are mending old wounds, Bella."

I swallowed, taking it all in. She was right. I still felt empty, but I knew the one thing to make it better. I stood up and my stomach filled with butterflies.

"You know what, I've got something I need to do."

Nancy smiled and waved my off. "You go do what you need Bella."

I nodded and then walked out of the room with complete confidence. Screw the plan. I couldn't wait for that.

If you wanted to be truly happy, you couldn't wait for fate. You had to take it into your own hands and _take chances_.

This was a chance I couldn't wait for.

* * *

The sky was gray and dark. Wispy clouds covered the sun and small dropets of water began to fall on my face as I skipped my car and started walking the few blocks to Edward's apartment. It wasn't an angry sky at all though, but a calm one. The storm clouds weren't black and deceptive, but comforting. Rain had always been comforting to me.

As I made my way closer the ran feel heavier. My hair became soaked and started to wave wildly like it always did. My _sexy hair_, Edward called it. I picked up the pace, pushing past couples huddling under umbrellas and shoving past business men late from their lunch breaks. My stride quickened still until I broke out into a full out run. I sprinted through the crowded sidewalks, getting wetter and wetter with each second. A huge smiled spread across my face. I'd never felt so confident as I was at this moment. I was taking destiny and doing something with it.

When I made it to his building, the doorman looked at me in surprise before letting me in happily.

"Miss seein you around here Miss Bella," he noted with a bow. I blushed and kept going through the lobby and straight for the elevator. I pressed the P for penthouse button at the top. My legs were shaking the whole time. What if he wasn't here? What if he didn't want to see me? All the what if's were starting to drive me nuts. I almost collapsed when the doors opened again, right into the foyer of his giant apartment.

I stepped in, letting my wet shoes squeak. Water dripped from my hair and clothes. I probably looked pathetic...but what did I care?

"Edward?" I asked, looking around. It was empty. My voice echoed throughout. He had to be here! He had to!

"Edward?" I hollered a little louder this time.

Stillness.

Emptiness.

Silence.

I walked around into the living room and kitchen.

"Edward? Are you here?"

Still nothing. I almost gave up hope when I suddenly remember his garden on the roof. I took the marble stairs two at a time until I reached the roof door. I climbed up those stairs three at a time until I found myself back in the rain, on the roof. The door slammed behind me as I searched for him.

And then he was there. His back was to me, obviously missing the door slamming. He was soaking wet and staring down on the city. I took in a deep breath, not allowing myself to chicken out.

"Edward."

His back tensed up and I could see his breathing increase. I stepped forward more and then stopped as he turned to face me. His bronze hair was stuck to his face and rain dripped from his eyelashes. His shirt was soaked stiff to his body so I could see every muscle and every contour of his amazing abs. My heartrate increased on spot.

"Bella?"

I nodded. Duh.

"I know you came by today."

He looked down, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize...." He paused to pull it together. "I didn't mean to upset Jacob. I know now how things are. I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "No-"

"You don't have to explain. You're with him now. I lost my chance."

I tried to speak again but he cut me off. "Just go Bella. Seeing you...it just hurts too much."

Tears welled up in my eyes.

"I couldn't stand being away from you. So I came to get you, to tell you I didn't care anymore, that I needed you more than air...but I was too late...."

He stopped in mid-thought. So he did love me.

"...ever take me back. I was so stupid to think that. Of course you moved on. I don't blame Jacob. He's a very good-"

"Shut up!" I finally yelled.

Edward stopped his ranting and stared at me. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't take that anymore. I came to see you!"

"Yes, I know that," he answered.

I shook my head, "No, I mean I'm not with Jacob. He's just protective."

Edward looked at me cautiously. "You're not with Jacob?"

I shook my head again. Of course not. "I couldn't never love Jacob the way that I love you Edward."

Thunder clapped above our heads. We looked up startled. I had to speak up, almost yelling through the pouring rain for him to hear me.

"What did you say?" Edward yelled, stepping closer.

I swallowed hard for the scream. "I said I love you! And I never stopped!"

I could feel my heart trying to break through my chest and fall into Edward's hands. The held back tears fell from my eyes as Edward stepped right in front of me, putting his hands on both sides of my face.

"I love you," I said again, quieter this time.

Thunder sounded again and the rain fell even harder. His eyes were very serious.

"I love you too, and I swear right now to God that I always will."

The weight and emptiness fell off my shoulders as his smashed his lips hard and passionately into mine.

* * *

**Whoo hoo!!! Two more chapters my lovlies!!! Can you stand it? Wow....can you belieave after over a year and a few months this is finally ending? It doesn't seem that long! Leave some love!!**


	50. Perfect

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Whoo hoo! We passed the 1000 review mark! I love you all, so much! And you know what I realized....this is my last chapter, except for the epilogue...but this will be chapter 50, the last! Can you believe it? I didn't even plan that! Well, technically it will end with 51 chapters with the epilogue, but still...pretty cool stuff, eh?**

**Anyways...I love you all and hope you enjoy!**

**And just incase...if you all want to go back and read the last chapter, listen to the song Kings and Queens by 30 Seconds to Mars starting from where Bella leaves Nancy...it really adds to the experience of that part...I think :) let me know**

**Bella POV**

I could literally feel all his love being pushed into me as each second ticked by. Edward's arms locked around my body, holding me so hard that I thought my insides would squeeze out. But I'd rather have that then have him let go. I pushed myself equally hard against him and grasped locks of his hair in my fists. The energy around us was so deep and rough and passionate...filled with pure _need._ Two and a half months of being separated were being made up and our bodies knew exactly what to do. You couldn't separate two soulmates from fate. You just couldn't.

My mind cleared for the first time in a long time, something that only happened with Edward. His lips finally released mine and went to kissing me all over my face and neck. I arched back and let out a moan...I was finally where I should be.

"Bella..."he whispered, taking me into his arms and just holding me, our bodies pressed together as the rain beat down hard on us. Thunder clapped above us, almost in celebration. Like we were the only two people on the planet. Then he gently layed me down on the ground and hovered above me. I ripped his shirt off and ran my hands up his chest, rememorizing it while he stared down on me, his eyes liquid emerald.

"I love you," I said again. I couldn't get enough of this. I couldn't say it enough either. "So, so much....and forever."

His body shook with each touch and he finally lowered himself on me and we started to kiss again. Over time our clothes came off and scattered and the rain continued to stream. I'd never had sex in the rain before...but I liked it. It was the perfect reunion.

The way he tasted was just like I remembered. The way he felt on me was just like he'd never left...and they way I felt with him, it was the purest of happy there ever was.

*.*.*

The rest of the afternoon was a blur. After our bout of love-making, we moved under the shelter of the gazebo in the garden so the rain didn't kill us. Even despite the fact that we were both shaking with the cold, we clung to each other like a newborn monkey to it's mother. We transferred body heat and refused to move out of our moment of perfectness. So there we lay, him on his back and me on his chest with his fingers lightly tracing my spine. It was almost like the dream I'd had when I took those pills. So perfect that it didn't seem real...but it was.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he finally said, breaking the comfortable silence. I knew this was coming. The hard apart. I shifted so I was propping my head up with my arm and could stare into his green eyes.

"Please...don't."

But he was serious now. I half expected him to let go of me, but he kept his arm firmly around me.

"I have to. I need to say this."

I sighed, but let him go on. "I'm sorry for leaving you the way I did. I never let you explain, I never gave you a chance. And I'm sorry for breaking you and not being there when you needed me most. It kills me to say that I was the one who caused you all that pain."

I tried to stop him, but he refused. "And I'm sorry for going back to Tanya like that. I was weak, but that was no excuse. I would take it all back in a heartbeat if I could. And I'm sorry for assuming you were with Jacob, and for waiting this long to be with you. I don't care about the articles, I don't care about anything but you. It was merely a blimp compared to what my family did to you. But right now, all that matters is that we are together again. Finally."

I didn't say anything for a long time, incase he wasn't done. But he was. So I cleared my throat.

"My turn. I'm sorry for betraying you, and lying to you. I hurt you more than I think I did myself. And I'm also sorry for what I did to Jacob, because even though we were apart, I felt I was betraying you again."

His fingers lifted and brushed down my face. "You had every right for that, Bella. I don't blame you."

I nodded carefullly. "I know. But I don't want you to feel sorry anymore. I want us to just forget the bad stuff and bring in the new."

He agreed quickly. "And we can."

I looked down for a moment before meeting his eyes again. "You need to call Emmett and Rosalie, and Alice. Edward."

Pain filled his eyes. They got very dark and he shook his head. "I could never forgive them for what they did to you Bella."

I felt his fist clench under my skin. "Edward! They are your family and they care about you. Please, you must talk to them. For me."

He shook his head furiously again. "I can't! It kills me to even think about it! What kind of monster does that, just leaves someone in need!"

"The same kind of monster that trusted me with all her will. I was one of the only people Rosalie ever let in, and look what I did? I'm not saying what she did is justifiable, but I'm not mad at her either. I don't want to be mad at anyone. I just want to forgive. Just understand, please! I love you all and because of that I don't care about any mistakes any of us made. When you love someone unconditionally, you accept everything and don't judge. You just move on. You taught me that," I said.

I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. "I love you, and I love them. You love them too. Just let it go, please. I'm okay now."

Something in my eyes must have been convincing because he nodded and agreed. "I'll call them later tonight."

I gave him a quick kiss. "Thank you."

When we pulled away, I noticed a sudden sparkle in his eyes. "What?" I asked.

He smiles deviously before standing up. "Where are you going?"

"Stay here!" he commanded before heading back to the roof door, completely naked I might add. So I enjoyed the view.

When he came back, he had a bunch of stuff in his hands. "Close your eyes and put this on."

He tossed a silk robe at me, one of my old ones, and I slid it on and shut my eyes. It took about five minutes, but he finally let my open them. And I gasped. He'd put some pants on and the gazebo was all lit up. The sky had darkened with a few raindrops still falling. Besides the twinkle lights, candles littered the floor and he had a bottle of champagne and two crystal flutes out.

"Edward..." I breathed, taking it all in. He smiled brightly. "Do you like it?"

I grinned from ear to ear. "I love it."

"Good." He then stood up and pulled me with him.

"What are we-"

But I stopped mid-sentence as he suddenly got down on my knee and pulled out the same satin box from that fateful night two and half months ago. My breath caught in my throat and my knees went weak.

"Isabella Marie Swan..."

My heartrate sped up to 10,000 miles and hour. I thought I might faint.

"...will you marry me and be my wife, for the rest of eternity?"

Tears filled my eyes as he slowly opened the box. Inside rested the most gorgeous vintage ring I think I'd ever seen in my entire life, and definitely the biggest. The band was silver and thick, encrusted with pretty good sized diamons. Then the actual rock in the center was enough to buy a BMW I'm sure, and it too was surrounded and somewhat smaller diamonds. **(picture in profile!!)**

"Edward...oh my god..." I could hardly speak.

"It was my grandmothers. It was gold originally, but I had it re-dipped in white gold for a more modern touch.

He stood up, suddenly unsure by my reaction.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

I nodded and gulped. "I am..I just....Edward."

Then I realized that I wasn't answering him. Yes! Of course! Oh yes!

"Yes! I will! Yes!"

I let my knees drop and launched myself into his arms crying. "I say yes, definitely and forever."

I could tell he was smiling too and then he kissed me deeply. "You've just made me the happiest man alive."

And he grabbed my hand and slid on the ring, which fit perfectly, which would stay there forever.

Forever with Edward.

"I love you," I whispered again before laying another kiss on him.

We held onto each other and swayed lightly under the sparkling gazebo. This night was literally the best of my life.

We sat down eventually and he popped open the champagne, without spilling a drop, and we toasted.

"To us, and having forever," he said, holding up his glass.

"To forever," I repeated and then we clinked out glasses. He took a drink but I sipped mine before not being able to take it. I set my glass down and took his too before jumping on top of him and repeating that afternoons events.

Life was finally perfect.

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**Ahhh! Only one more chapter to go people! Idk about ya'll...but that was my favorite chapter! Leave some love! Muah!**


	51. Epilogue

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Okay everyone....last authors note of this story! ah, I'm so sad this is comin to an end! I had so much fun writing this, it's been such a long, amazing journey! i'll be starting my next story too...once I have a title haha! But I think you'll all love this, and there won't be any betraying Bella haha!!! well...for the last time...**

**ENJOY! :D**

**Bella POV**

After that, the days just seemed to go by like I was tearing them off the calendar. Edward and I spent the next day in bed, having the most amazing sex possible and just being with each other, making up for those two months apart. In the morning he called Emmett and Rose as promised and invited the whole family over to dinner that night. We both cooked, which meant I sat on the counter watching his ass while he moved around the kitchen the whole time. But it was still perfect.

We sat around the table that night as a family, all smiles. I think Edward realized that he could be mad all he wanted, but they were his family and he needed them. Without each other, they weren't the Cullens. They were just....well, nobody.

"A toast," Edward said before we started, holding up his glass of very expensive champagne. Everyone followed in suit.

"To first off, my Bella and all the happiness she has brought me and all the happiness we have to come. And then to my little niece Annabelle, who I am terribly sorry to have missed her homecoming party. And lastly, to my family. You've always been my shoulder, my solid rock, the one thing I could count on and I love you all so much. So to Cullen past, present, and the future. Cheers."

Everyone's glasses clinked together followed by eight voices chanting cheers. Edward entangled our arms and we all chugged the champagne down, as was tradition for Cullen toasts, before re-filling our glasses.

"So Alice....how's the wedding coming?"

Immediately her face sparkled and she went off at a million miles an hour. "It's fantastic! Oh my! Did I tell you I found my dress today? It's one of a kind, designed just for me! And....did I mention I've already got my designer on your dress?" **(picture in profile)**

I stopped her there. "What? My dress? Alice, we haven't even picked a date yet!"

She pouted her lips. "So! He's already got your measurements and you everything! It's going to be creme, because I know how you feel about white and..."

That was where I tuned out. Edward grasped my hand. "It's just best to let her win in times like this."

I giggled and pretended like I understood what she was saying, but Alice lost me at _handspun Japanese silk. _So I trusted her.

* * *

The day of Alice's wedding was perhaps the most perfect day October had ever seen. The skies were cloudless and the most perfect shade of blue. The weather was warm and the ocean wasn't gray or angry like usual, but calm and serene. Which was good because the wedding was held on a cliff overlooking the ocean and if it had of been stormy, Alice would have kicked Mother Nature's ass and won. Rosalie might be scary, but mess with Alice's wedding and you've got Satan with boobs.

And even more, the ceremony went perfect. The flower girl didn't cry and kept her rose petals evenly spaced. The ring bearer didn't pick his nose or lose the ring and each of her 10 bridesmaids didn't go out of order or formation and stuck with the music as we walked down. We even looked perfect. I don't think Alice could have picked better dresses.

But the cake went to Alice. I don't think there was anyone who _didn't _gasp as the walked down the isle. Her pale skin was tanned to perfect and the way her dress fit her body...it was like a goddess. She refused to let anyone see her dress until this moment and it made me want to cry, I'd never seen anyone so beautiful in my entire life. It was unreal how perfect she was at that moment. So I turned my head and looked at Jasper. It looked like he was just seeing Alice for the first time. His bright blue eyes were locked on hers and his mouth made a small _O_ shape. I swear there were tears in his eyes. I quickly wiped mine away.

* * *

The months after that swept by quickly. Edward and I had decided to have a May wedding, which meant a long engagement, but that was just fine with me. It meant I didn't have to rush on anything, not I had anything to do...Alice was doing my whole wedding. So I focused on Edward. In December I moved into his apartment and sold mine to a close friend...Jacob. He was looking for a bigger place now that he got a promotion at work...and I new girlfriend, courtesy of me. We had made amends shortly after I got back with Edward, and he had finally forgiven him. He had no choice, I would have disowned him if he didn't.

New developments with Tanya had also arisen. At first she decided Edward could no longer see Susan, that is until he threatened to go to court and no court in this country dare go against the great Edward Cullen, so she gave in and they went back to letting him see her whenever he wanted. They still hadn't made up fully, but they were on speaking terms and that was good enough for me.

So when May 13th came rolling around, I was nervous to the point of hitting a coma. It's not like anything new was coming. I was already living with Edward, doing everything with him. So why was I nervous? Because I was afraid he would leave me, even though I knew he never would.

So the morning of, Alice whisked me off to the fabulous beachy resort in California where we were getting married, right on the edge of the water. And I may add, one of the biggest weddings of the year, according to Alice. Edward was a big man and a lot of people were coming to my dismay. I wanted a small wedding, and Edward was prepared to give me anything I wanted....but Alice refused. So we made an agreement, she do the whole wedding for me just as long as she didn't call me on my honeymoon, that was Bella and Edward time. I didn't need any outside world thank you. And surprisingly...she agreed.

And when the dress was slid on me and my hair was done, my make-up completed, and veil in place....she finally took the cover off the mirror and presented it to me. I had to blink at first...because that beautiful woman in the mirror was not me. She was a goddess, straight off the runway in her long creme dress that was hand-crafted.**(picture in profile)** That woman had big, brown eyes someone could get lost in and hair shinier than any commercial for Pantene. She had curves and...cleavage! Clearly...this was a mirage, not me.

But it was. And for the first time, I saw what Edward saw. I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath.

"I'm ready."

Alice and Rosalie clapped their hands and led me to the door.

I waited my turn until Charlie grabbed my arm and kissed my cheek.

"I've never seen you so beautiful Bells. You're a true vision, and I'm proud of you."

I blushed hair and tried to not cry as we slowly descended the aisle. I veered my eyes off all the hundreds of people and to Edward. And his face was just like Jasper's was: completely, and irrevocably in love. I smiled wide and lost myself in his eyes, liquidly emerald, for almost the whole ceremony until suddenly Edward spoke to me.

"I do."

I blinked and realized that it was finally happening. I took in a breath for my line as the minister spoke the same line to me. I nodded gently.

"I do."

The minister proudly closed his bible and smiled. "And I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

The moment that I'd dreamed of ever since I'd first seen Edward was happening. My fairytale was finally coming true. He pulled me in gently and our lips met for the first time for the rest of our lives.

_Forever._

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**_The End_**

**Wow..it's over already! I hope you really all enjoyed this! I know I summed it up really fast, but come on...the story was over, can't drag it on another year. I just want to thank all of you for sticking with me through this long process and for the amazing feedback and reviews! I love you all and am so blessed that you all like my writing. I look forward to my new ff, I'll post up here when I get it up, which will be soon. And I hope you all looked at the picture in my profile that go with the chapters....because I think they do help, especially the wedding dresses. I had fun with that!**

**Anyways, thank you so much and ciao!**


	52. NEW STORY UP!

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Hey my lovelies! Just wanted to say my new story is up! It's called Falling and in my profile so enjoy!**

**Love ya!**

**~GoldenEyes4**


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